S1 Episode 05: The Problem Date

*Cop walks up to the counter at the donut shop. "I would like to order three dozen donuts please, I don't care what kind they're, just make sure they're fresh." Cop says. "Yes sir." The lady says before walking away. A few moments later, the lady returns with three dollars. "That'll be, $37.99." The lady says. Cop takes out his credit card and gives it to the lady. "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you don't have enough money on your card." The lady says. "What?! That cant be, I deposited money into the account yesterday!" Cop yells. "Well if you did, the money is gone." The lady says. "Ugh, I forgot, I had bills to pay, they probably took the money out." Cop says. "Would you like to pay with cash instead?" The lady asks. "I only have 39 cents." Cop says. "Well then I'm afraid you cant buy any donuts." The lady says. "But..but, I'm a cop! I have the badge to prove it!" Cop says as he shows her the badge. "What's your point sir?" The lady asks. "My point is that since I'm a cop, I deserve to get those donuts for free! Now give em to me!" Cop yells. The lady stares at him. "Please leave, sir." The lady says. "Fine, but you'll be hearing from me! My buddies from the station will descend on this dive with an army! You and your cohorts will never hear the end of it! I'll show you!" Cop yells before walking out.

*Cop is walking down the street. "I don't have any money, how on earth am I supposed to buy my donuts? I cant go on without having my donuts!" Cop says to himself. A light bulb appears over his head. "Ah ha!" Cop says. He takes out his phone and makes a call. "Hey, baby, its me...I know, I know, its been a while, but I was thinking maybe we could meet up, what do you think?...Great, that sounds great! I'll see you then." Cop says before hanging up.

*Cop is sitting at a table at the Aqua Casino. Someone walks up to the table. "Thank you for meeting me, its been a while." Cop says. Queen Goo sits down at the table. "I have to say, I was ecstatic to get your call Cop. I miss you." Queen Goo says. "I miss you to, that's why I called. I wanted us to get back together, if your up for it." Cop says. "I would love that!" Queen Goo says. "Good, good. By the way, your paying for this meal, right?" Cop asks. "Of course I am! I would never ask you to pay!" Queen Goo says. "No, of course not! Oh, no!" Cop says. "What is it darling?" Queen Goo asks. "I think I dropped my gun outside!" Cop says. "Well do you really need it? Your on a dinner date, darling." Queen Goo says. "You never know when you'll need your gun, beautiful. Some dude could come in and shoot the place up, I could've prevented it if I just had my gun on me, especially in this city." Cop says. "Good point, don't worry though, I'll go find it for you." Queen Goo says. "Will you? Your such a doll." Cop says. Cop kisses Queen Goo on the cheek. Queen Goo blushes before leaving. When Cop sees Queen Goo walk out the door, he walks over to her purse which is hanging on the chair and takes out her wallet, and then grabs her bank card. He puts the wallet back and goes to leave, but Queen Goo comes back! "Where are you going?" Queen Goo asks. "Oh, uh, I was going to tell you that I found it!" Cop says. "Oh, where was it?" Queen Goo asks. "Uh...that fat guy over there had it. He was hoping to trade it in for a free big mac." Cop says. "Really? Well I suppose I'll just have to go over there and give him a piece of my mind!" Queen Goo says. "Uh, sweetheart, you don't have to do that." Cop says. "Oh, but I do! I'm not going to let that swine get away with stealing from you, my love!" Queen Goo says before storming over to him. "Hey fatty!" Queen Goo angrily says. The fat guy looks up from his plate and has a mouth full of food. "Do you think its funny to steal from others? Do you?! If there is one type of person I cant stand, its a thief!" Queen Goo yells. The fat guy mumbles something while his mouth is full, but no one understands him. Queen Goo gasps and slaps him. "You animal! How dare you!" Queen Goo angrily says before storming off. Cop kneels next to him. "Please excuse my grandmother, she's old and senile." Cop says before walking away. Cop walks back to the table. "That was fun." Queen Goo says. "I'm sure it was baby, I'm sure it was. Listen, I just got a phone call, turns out I have to be somewhere." Cop says. "Where?" Queen Goo asks. "Anywhere but here." Cop says. He goes to walk away but Queen Goo grabs his arm. "Hahaha! Cop, your so funny! Sit back down sweetheart." Queen Goo says. "Uh, sure, can I just make a phone call over there?" Cop asks. "Of course!" Queen Goo says. Cop walks away and makes a phone call. "Yeller, its me...yeah, sorry about that whole arrest thing, listen, I need you and Dun Dun to help me....I said I need you and Dun Dun to help me, why are you laughing?....I'm being serious! Just get your butt down to the Aqua Casino in Fantastic City, I need you to get me away from my date." Cop says before hanging up. Cop walks back to the table. "Who did you call darling?" Queen Goo asks. "Just a friend at the station, he's dying." Cop says. "That's awful! What's wrong with him?" Queen Goo asks. "Nagging girlfriend syndrome." Cop says.

2 HOURS LATER

*"Darling, you sure are taking a while eating your food. Why don't you take the food home and I'll pay the bill now?" Queen Goo asks. "NO! I want to cherish every bite of this delicious meal." Cop says. "Where are those two?" Cop wonders in his head. Yeller and Dun Dun walk in. "Where are those two?" Yeller wonders. "Don't look at Dun Dun, she no even know where SHE is." Dun Dun says. "I know you don't, Dun Dun." Yeller says. "Over there! Dun Dun see them!" Dun Dun says. "Okay, now we need to think this plan through very carefully." Yeller says. Dun Dun runs over to there table. "Or not." Yeller says. "Cop, help! Dun Dun has been robbed!" Dun Dun yells. "What, well I should go-" Before Cop can finish, a security guard comes over. "Did I hear you right ma'am? Were you robbed? Can you describe the culprit?" The guard asks. "Uh, it was fat guy over there." Dun Dun says while pointing at the fat guy from earlier. The security guard walks over to him. "So, you think you can rob innocent civilians, huh?" The guard asks. The fat guy looks up and mumbles something while his mouth his full. "Tell it to the judge pal!" The guard says before dragging the fat guy off. Cop sighs. "What's the matter sweetie? That vicious thief has finally been brought to justice! What an awful man, not only did he steal your gun, he stole from that poor woman too!" Queen Goo says. "Yeah, what a monster!" Cop says. Yeller pulls Dun Dun aside. "Now what are we going to do?" Yeller asks. "Dun Dun don't know, but she hope cops give her that man wallet, thinking it Dun Dun's." Dun Dun says. Yeller rolls his eyes. Yeller takes out his phone and calls Cop. "Hello?" Cop asks. "Pretend I'm a cop and that there is an emergency in Littlebridge that you have to attend to." Yeller says. "What? That's horrible! I'll be there right away!" Cop says before hanging up. "What is it dear?" Queen Goo asks. "I have to get back to Littlebridge darling, the mayor has been taken hostage!" Cop says. "Oh dear, that's horrible! Good luck and be careful! I hope to hear from you soon." Queen Goo says. "Don't worry, you wont." Cop says under his breath. "What?" Queen Goo asks. "Uh, I said I cant wait to see you again! Ta ta!" Cop says before running out. The waitress walks over to Queen Goo. "That'll be $59.47." The waitress says. "Hold on a moment." Queen Goo says. She reaches into her wallet and looks for her bank card. "Oh dear, I'm afraid I don't have my card." Queen Goo says. "Do you have any cash?" The waitress asks. "No, I keep all of my money in my bank account. Perhaps you could take an I.O.U?" Queen Goo asks. "Ma'am, we don't do I.O.U.s." The waitress says. "Well maybe you would reconsider if you knew who I was." Queen Goo says. Queen Goo reaches into her purse. "SHE HAS A GUN!" The waitress screams. The security guards rush over to the table and tackle Queen Goo to the ground.

*Yeller, Dun Dun, and Cop are in Yeller's living room. "So, your going to pay us for our help, right?" Yeller asks. "Sure, here are two checks, each for $1,000.00, courtesy of the queen." Cop says. Yeller turns the TV on. "We interrupt your regularly scheduled program with breaking news. Apparently, an insane woman claiming to be a queen was arrested and sentenced to life in prison after attempting to pull a gun on a waitress when she didn't have the money to pay for her meal. You would think a real queen would be able to afford a simple meal. She is currently being held in her own cell, due to the fact that the authorities feel she is far to dangerous to be stored with other prisoners. More news at 11." The news reporter says. Yeller, Dun Dun, and Cop crack up laughing.