Episode 03: Pirate of the Yeller

Sam is standing in the middle of the abandoned film lot. “Previously on Total Yeller Mania: Director’s Cut! We started off with our first elimination of the season, which resulted in not one contestant getting the boot but TWO contestants! That’s right, both Lauren and Mia Goo got sent packing, and needless to say, Mia wasn’t too happy about that. But that’s what we have security for, AKA Man-Shark. Moving onto contestants that are actually still in the game, the twelve remaining cast members were forced to build shelter when they learned that a tornado was heading straight towards the film lot. The Overbearing Producers thought they had the challenge in the bag thanks to Grandma’s experience in building bomb shelters, but they were quickly proven wrong when Grandma threw her back out. Once Grandma was out of commission, they decided that the best course of action was to let Kooky build their shelter. I know, it makes no sense to let the weird clown do the building, but whatever. Over with the Devious Divas, Chimney Man was put in charge of building the shelter for his team, but he only wanted a select few contestants helping him. Not Claire, not Daisy, not Gangster Goo, and definitely not Cop, he decided to recruit Dun Dun and Leafy Fan for help. Unfortunately, the three of them got along so well that they ended up getting nothing accomplished. The Overbearing Producers didn’t fair much better due to the crappy shelter Kooky built them. But don’t worry, Yeller decided to improve the stability of the shelter by punching some stakes into the ground of it! By this point, the tornado had arrived at the film lot and was headed straight towards the Devious Divas, who hadn’t actually built a shelter. The Divas ran right by the Overbearing Producers and the tornado ended up destroying their shelter. Luckily for them, since the Devious Divas never actually built a shelter, the Producers won by default! So tonight, we get to see one of the Divas get sent packing! But who will it be? Claire? Daisy? Cop? Gangster Goo? Leafy Fan? Chimney Man? Maybe even Dun Dun? You’re about to find out in this week’s episode of Total...Yeller...Mania...Director’s Cut!” Sam says.

Daisy, Claire, Gangster Goo, Cop, Chimney Man, Dun Dun, and Leafy Fan are all sitting in front of the big stage. “I can’t believe we are here tonight...you know, we probably would have actually won if you three had actually made an effort!” Daisy says, looking at Chimney Man, Dun Dun, and Leafy Fan. “Its not about the challenge, its about the friends we made along the way.” Chimney Man says. “Beautifully said!” Leafy Fan says, tearing up. “I hate to agree with Daisy on literally anything, but she’s right! I heard the other team’s shelter was a crap show, so if we had built one ourselves, we probably would’ve won!” Claire says. “Why don’t Claire just say what she really thinking? She hate Dun Dun!” Dun Dun accuses her. “Huh? What does that have to do with anything?” Claire asks. “Well fine, because Dun Dun hate Claire too! Dun Dun hate Claire so much that she voting her off tonight!” Dun Dun says. “You can’t vote me off! The audience has the ability to vote people off, not the contestants!” Claire points out. “Dun Dun have to watch you losers day after day, that make Dun Dun audience! Pack you bags, you are GONE! G-O-N, GONE!!!” Dun Dun shouts. “Omg, where is Sam?!?!” Claire wonders. Sam walks onto stage. “Did someone say my name?” Sam asks. “Finally!” Claire says. “I hope I didn’t keep you guys waiting too long.” Sam says. “Oh no, we’ve only been sitting here for THREE HOURS!” Cop yells. “Sorry about that, I like to make you sit here for a little while so you can internally freak out over the possibility of being eliminated.” Sam says. “What a sweet heart.” Claire sarcastically says. “But enough wasting time, its time to hand out trophies to the people who are unfortunate enough to stick around for another day! Daisy, you’re safe!” Sam says, as he throws Daisy a trophy. “Aw, a big thanks to my adoring fans!” Daisy says. “Claire, good news, you also get to stick around for another day!” Sam says, as he tosses Claire a trophy. “Cop, even though I can’t name one thing you’ve actually done for your team this season, you get a trophy!” Sam says, as he throws Cop a trophy. “Chimney Man, even though you were the leader of the bunch that cost your team the challenge, you get a trophy!” Sam says, as he throws Chimney Man a trophy, which hits him in the head and knocks him out of his seat. “Dun Dun, despite the fact that you were one of Chimney Man’s followers last episode, you also get a trophy!” Sam says, as he throws Dun Dun a trophy. A spot light shines down on both Leafy Fan and Gangster Goo. “Leafy Fan and Gangster Goo, the two of you are the ones who got the most votes against you. Leafy Fan, you were another one of Chimney Man’s followers last episode and played a huge part in your team losing the challenge.” Sam says. “But at least we had fun! Right Leafy?” Leafy Fan asks, looking at Leafy. “And Gangster Goo...honestly, I’m not sure why you got votes, but you do seem kinda useless.” Sam says. “Aw man…” Gangster Goo sighs. “Now with that out of the way, the final trophy of the night goes to...Leafy Fan!” Sam says, as he throws Leafy Fan a trophy. “We’re still in the game Leafy! Yay!” Leafy Fan exclaims. “WHAT?! There’s gotta be some kinda mistake!” Gangster Goo says. “No mistake! You got the most votes out of your teammates.” Sam says. “UN-BE-LIEVABLE!” Gangster Goo yells. “Wish I could say I was disappointed, but I’m not.” Cop says. Gangster Goo turns towards Cop. “How could you say that?! AFTER EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER?! I LOVED YOU!” Gangster Goo screams. “Wait, what?” Sam asks. Gangster Goo rips off her sun glasses and reveals she is Queen Goo! Everyone gasps except for Cop. “Are you people serious?” Cop asks. “I did NOT see that one coming!” Claire says. “It was obvious!” Cop argues. “Not for Dun Dun.” Dun Dun says. “So all you have to do to change your appearance is put on some sun glasses? Huh…” Chimney Man says. Cop lets out an exasperated sigh. Sam walks over to Queen Goo. “Excuse me, but we agreed to let Gangster Goo compete! Not some washed up queen!” Sam says. “I had to use that alias! It was the only way I could get close to my beloved Coppy, after he so rudely filed a restraining order against me.” Queen Goo says. “Coppy?” Daisy asks. “Yes! The man of my dreams, the love of my life! And I just know that despite the restraining order and the stalking charges he filed against me that he feels the same way about me!” Queen Goo says. “I don’t! I can’t stand you! You’re a creepy old lady who’s trying to relive her glory days by getting with a young stud!” Cop says. “I don’t see a young stud around anywhere, do you?” Claire asks. Queen Goo walks over to Cop. “My dear Cop, we can still have a chance together! Just drop this asinine restraining order and we can be together forever! I can give you the world! Do you want money? I can provide for you! Do you want someone dead? I have the money to put a hit out on them for you!” Queen Goo says. “It does seem like the law isn’t doing anything about Yeller, maybe I should take matters into my own hands…” Cop ponders. Suddenly, sirens can be heard and several police cars pull onto the scene. A helicopter flies over everyone and shines a light down on Queen Goo. “Queen Molly Goo, this is the Fantastic P.D! We have you surrounded! Surrender now or prepare to fight!” The police says. Queen Goo turns towards Cop. “I suppose this is goodbye for now, my darling.” Queen Goo says. “You’re turning yourself in, huh?” Cop asks. “Absolutely not! YOU’LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!” Queen Goo screams, before running off. The police cars speed after her and gunfire can be heard. “Okaaaaaaaaaay then. I guess that’s it for tonight’s elimination ceremony. See you all tomorrow for the actual challenge.” Sam says, before walking off stage.

The next morning, The Overbearing Producers are sitting at a table in the cafeteria. “So any idea what happened at last night’s elimination? I thought I heard sirens.” Kooky says. “They were probably looking for you.” Disk says. “Unlikely, I am a law abiding citizen.” Kooky says. “It was probably Daisy. She probably got voted off, snapped, tried to kill Sam, so they came and took her away to a nice quiet padded room.” Yeller assumes. At that moment, The Devious Divas walk in. “Hey, you aren’t missing any teammates! What gives?” Yeller asks. “Yes we are! Did you not notice Gangster Goo is gone?” Daisy asks. “Gangster Who?” Yeller asks. “Gangster Goo!” Daisy tells him. “Gangster Goo Who?” Yeller questions. “Don’t waste your time going back and forth with him, he’s a legal idiot.” Cop says. “Am not! I’m an illegal idiot!” Yeller argues. “You’re just proving my point!” Cop tells him. Sam walks in. “Good morning cast! I hope you all had a nice breakfast, because today’s challenge is about to begin!” Sam says. “We didn’t get to eat yet!” Chimney Man points out. “Well maybe if you and the rest of your team would get up at a decent time, that wouldn’t be a problem!” Sam says. “I needed my beauty sleep!” Claire says. “So what’s this about a new challenge?” Cop asks. “Ah yes, our next challenge. Today, we’ll be taking a field trip! Or rather, YOU’LL be taking a field trip, I’ll be sitting here in a lounge chair enjoying an ice cold beverage.” Sam says. “Where are we going?” Leafy Fan asks. “You are going back to the island we competed on last season!” Sam announces. “That dump again?” Yeller asks. “Here’s the deal. Each team will be taking a pirate ship and will set sail towards the island. Whichever team gets there first will win the challenge! The team that does not make it in time will have to send someone home.” Sam says. “Just to be clear, the actual challenge does not take place on the island, yes?” Bo asks. “Yes and no. Today’s challenge is about reaching the island. However, today’s challenge will lead into the next challenge which DOES take place on the island! Its gonna be great, really nostalgic for everyone. Well, except for Kooky and Leafy Fan, they didn’t compete last season.” Sam says. “Thank the lord.” Kooky says. “Quick question, we won’t be BUILDING the boat, right? Because building isn’t really our team’s thing, that much should be obvious from the last challenge.” Claire says. “Yeah, our team kinda sucks at it too.” Yeller says. “Don’t worry, we will be providing each team with a boat.” Sam says. “Not sure if that’s a good thing or not.” Disk says. “So what’s the catch?” Daisy wonders. “I beg your pardon?” Sam asks. “The catch! We sail our boat to the island and the first team that gets there wins, but I’m not hearing the challenge part of the challenge. It sounds like smooth sailing, literally.” Daisy says. “I guess now would probably be a good time to tell you about the loch ness monster.” Sam says. “The loch ness monster is said to inhabit a lake located in Scotland, and not only that, it is merely a myth!” Bo says. “Turns out old Nessie wasn’t too happy in Scotland, I think her property taxes were too high. So, she relocated here!” Sam says. “Translation: Man-Shark is dressed up as this monster and will be trying to sabotage us.” Daisy assumes. “Of course not! That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! I mean really, how could Man-Shark even pass himself as the loch ness monster? He’s big, but not that big! But enough chit chat, your boats are waiting for you!” Sam says.

The two teams arrive at a dock where two giant pirate ships are docked. “We’re piloting a boat THAT big?” Daisy asks. “I volunteer to be the ship captain!” Chimney Man says. “NO!” Daisy, Claire, and Cop shout. “Why not? He did a really great job last time!” Leafy Fan claims. “Either Chimney Man become Chimney Captain or Dun Dun going on strike! AGAIN!” Dun Dun warns. “There is no way we are going to let that idiot make us sink again, literally!” Daisy says. “Wow, you’re really going all out with the sea jokes!” Claire notes. “I know! I don’t know what’s come over me!” Daisy admits. “If Chimney Man can’t be the captain, maybe Leafy can be?” Leafy Fan suggests. “How can leaf be captain when leaf no talk?” Dun Dun asks. “She talks to me!” Leafy Fan claims. “Well what good do that do Devious Dun Duns?” Dun Dun asks. “Its Devious Divas!” Cop says. “Be quiet, Diva!” Dun Dun orders. “I propose I be the captain since I am the one with the essence of a leader.” Daisy says. Claire laughs. “I’m not taking orders from you!” Claire says. “Enough discourse! Its clear to me who should be the captain of this team, and that person is me.” Cop says. “Absolutely not!” Daisy snaps. The team then begins arguing among themselves.

The Overbearing Producers are staring at their boat. “I do believe I would be best suited to lead this ship.” Bo says. “That’s total nonsense and you know it, Bozo!” Grandma says. “Who you calling bozo, dinosaur?!” Kooky asks. “Not you, you stupid clown! The other stupid clown!” Grandma tells him. “Ah, I see. Keep going then.” Kooky says. “I think I should be the one to lead this ship! I used to be the captain of ships like this back in the day!” Grandma says. “Honestly? I agree with Grandma this time.” Yeller says. “Thank you, grandson. At least someone else in this family has sense other than me!” Grandma says. “Grandma it is then, because I don’t wanna spend all day arguing about it like those guys over there.” Disk says. Everyone turns and sees the Devious Divas arguing back and forth about who the captain is going to be.

YELLER’S CONFESSIONAL: “Say what you will about our team, but we still somehow get along better than the other team! Don’t ask me how that’s even possible.” Yeller says.

Fast forward an hour, The Devious Diva’s ship is seen out in the open sea, with Dun Dun steering it while wearing a captain hat. “I cannot believe we settled on her as our captain…” Claire complains. “Look on the bright side. If we do happen to lose this challenge, Dun Dun is the one behind the wheel which means she’ll be the fall guy, or in this case fall girl.” Daisy says. “That isn’t how this works! The audience doesn’t care who is responsible for the team losing! Do you think if they did, Gangster Goo would’ve been the one to go home? No! It would’ve been that dumb chimney guy for leading a circus!” Claire says. Chimney Man walks up to them. “Did someone say something about a circus? I love the circus!” Chimney Man notes. “That tracks.” Daisy says. Dun Dun turns around. “Leafy Fan! Dun Dun require status report! LEAFY FAN!” Dun Dun screams. Leafy Fan is seen asleep with a pair of binoculars resting on her chest. Cop grabs the binoculars and looks through them. “Nothing so far, Dun Dun.” Cop says. Dun Dun stomps towards Cop. “What did you just say to Dun Dun?” Dun Dun questions. “Uh...I said nothing yet, because...well, there’s nothing. Our ship is in the clear, no monsters.” Cop says. “Dun Dun slaps the binoculars out of Cop’s hands and into the ocean. “Dun Dun no care about that! You called Dun Dun “Dun Dun”! She is no Dun Dun to you, she is captain! Chief! Boss! How that too hard for Cop to understand?!” Dun Dun questions. Cop sighs. “Sorry...captain.” Cop says. “Better, now go downstair! Dun Dun putting you in timeout! THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DONE!” Dun Dun shouts. Cop puts his head down in shame and walks away. “Unbelievable! Dun Dun HATE stupid people!” Dun Dun complains.

On the Overbearing Producers’ boat, Grandma is lying in a lounge chair by the wheel when Bo walks up to her. “Mother, I hate to disturb your nap, but shouldn’t you...I don’t know, be piloting this ship?” Bo asks. “What for? This thing practically rides itself!” Grandma says. “I’m sure that’s what the captain of the titanic probably said…” Disk mutters. “Perhaps, I just feel as though you should be watching for any potential obstacles, like say...an iceberg.” Bo says. “We are not gonna crash! I’ll bet my life on that!” Grandma says. Suddenly, the boat comes to a sudden stop. “Oh my goodness! We’re gonna crash! THIS IS THE END! EVERYBODY REMAIN CALM AND JUMP SHIP IMMEDIATELY!” Grandma screams. Yeller puts on a life jacket, pushes Kooky out of the way and throws himself off the boat. Bo looks over the boat. “Everyone calm down! There is nothing to be concerned about! It appears we just hit a good sized rock sticking out of the ocean. I don’t see any damage to the boat so all we must do is course correct, nothing to be worried about!” Bo says. Grandma stands up. “Why you good for nothing show off! You like making your own mother look like a total moron?!” Grandma questions. “Mother, I suspect you have the wrong idea entirely. I was merely-” Bo begins to say. “I don’t care what you were doing, merely or otherwise! Don’t you EVER try to take over my duties again! No one who wears ugly top hats like that could EVER be a captain!” Grandma says. “Yes mother…” Bo says. “Uh...is anyone going to help me up?!” Yeller can be heard asking.

On the Devious Divas’ ship, Dun Dun is still steering the ship. “Can I come out now?” Cop can be heard asking from below deck. “NO! You offend Dun Dun, that carry heavy penalty! You lucky she no make you walk plank!” Dun Dun shouts. “Can I walk the plank? That sounds like fun!” Chimney Man says. Daisy walks up to Claire. “Claire, can we chat for a minute?” Daisy asks. “That depends. Are you taking me somewhere quiet so you can throw me off the side of the boat and say that I tripped?” Claire asks. Daisy laughs. “No silly, of course not! Why would you even suggest something so crazy?” Daisy wonders. “Oh my God that is exactly what you’re planning.” Claire assumes. “No! Just come with me, I will explain everything.” Daisy says. Claire follows Daisy to the other side of the boat. “So, we have a real problem on our hands.” Daisy says. “I know, and that problem isn’t going away until you’re voted out.” Claire says. “Can you be serious for just a minute? Please?” Daisy asks. “Who’s joking?” Claire wonders. “Look, you and I are the only smart ones on this team. Its clear to me that Chimney Man, Dun Dun, Cop, and Leafy Fan are all part of one giant idiot sandwich, and if we don’t act now they are going to bring us down with them!” Daisy says. “Hold on, you aren’t suggesting we kill them, are you? I’m not killing them! Jail isn’t my thing.” Claire says. “Its not mine either, which is why we need to go down the more legal route. We form an alliance and we do everything in our power to make sure our team wins every challenge, by making sure that those four don’t have any power! They will be our teammates, but we will be the ones pulling the strings.” Daisy says. “Are you kidding me?! Have you forgotten that you pulled this crap last season too? Forming an alliance with you nearly ruined my relationship with Lauren!” Claire recalls. “Yeah, sure, but do you see Lauren around anywhere?” Daisy asks. “I also haven’t forgotten that you intentionally set out to ruin my relationship with Lauren just for funsies.” Claire notes. “I admit I may have taken things a little too far where you and Lauren are concerned…” Daisy says. “A little? Come on. Also, it isn’t lost on me that you are saying all of this to persuade me into your little unholy alliance.” Claire says. “Full disclosure? Yeah, I am saying all of this to try and butter you up. I don’t feel sorry about trying to come between you and Lauren and I would probably do it again if given the chance.” Daisy says. “You’re probably trying to do it right now.” Claire notes. “Except this isn’t about screwing with you and Lauren! This is about survival! Now you and I are the only members of this team that have the capabilities of basic thought process, so if we let the others run amok we are only going to end up screwing ourselves in the end! We need to take a stand!” Daisy says. “So I’m just supposed to forget everything you did last season?” Claire asks. “Of course not. If you want to hate me, fine, go for it. I’m just asking you to think strategically. Our team can’t survive if we let those four idiots run the show, which is why it is necessary that you and I step in and course correct, so to speak.” Daisy says. “I see. So, what, I join forces with you and we go to the final two together?” Claire asks. “Not the final two, but I do think I could get you to the merge. You interested?” Daisy wonders. Claire sighs. “God help me, but you do paint a pretty nice picture.” Claire admits. Daisy smiles. “Is that a yes?” Daisy asks. “Yeah, sure.” Claire says. Daisy shakes Claire’s hand. “You won’t be disappointed.” Daisy says. “I better not be. So what’s the first order of business?” Claire asks. “We take back control of our ship.” Daisy says. Daisy walks over to Dun Dun. “Sorry to interrupt your role playing as captain, but fun time is over. I’ll be taking over now.” Daisy says. “Lily no taking over any-” Before Dun Dun can finish, Daisy punches her and knocks her out! “That’s not against the rules?” Claire asks. “Read the contract, Claire. There are no rules in this game.” Daisy says. Daisy throws Claire the binoculars. “I need you to be look out. If you see any sign of this supposed loch ness monster or the other team, let me know immediately.” Daisy says. “Will do.” Claire says. Leafy Fan and Chimney Man walk up to Daisy. “What can we do captain?” Leafy Fan asks. “Leafy Fan, go release Cop from the cellar. Chimney Man, go make me dinner, and try not to burn it!” Daisy orders. “Eye eye, captain!” Chimney Man says. “Can I request a salad?” Claire asks. “Sure you can, this team is ours now.” Daisy says.

CLAIRE’S CONFESSIONAL: “I realize Daisy is acting a little power hungry and possibly unhinged, but hey, we’ve gotta do what we can to stay in the game, and Chimney Man, Dun Dun, Leafy Fan, and Cop were NOT helping. It definitely helps that I get certain benefits such as dinner being cooked for me by my underlings-uh, I mean teammates.” Claire says.

On the Overbearing Producers’ ship, Yeller is looking through a pair of binoculars as Grandma continues to steer the ship. “Are we there yet?” Disk asks. “What are you, five?! We’ll get there when we get there!” Grandma shouts. “Stop yelling or I’m gonna (CENSORED) lose it!” Kooky yells. “Calm down you dumb clown!” Grandma yells. “In all seriousness mother, do you have any idea what our estimated arrival time is?” Bo wonders. “Do I look like a GPS? I don’t freaking know when we’re gonna get there, so shut up and enjoy the ride!” Grandma demands. “Grandma! What’s THAT thing?” Yeller asks. “That’s Kooky, you know him!” Grandma says. “Not THAT thing, the thing in the ocean!” Yeller says. Disk takes the binoculars from Yeller and looks through them. “Um...yeah. There’s something definitely in the water.” Disk says. “No crap, Sherlock. Now tell me what it is!” Yeller says. “How am I supposed to know? I don’t know crap about fish.” Disk says. “That is no fish!” Yeller states. Grandma rips the binoculars out of Disk’s hands. “Give me those you outdated piece of media!” Grandma tells him. Grandma looks through the binoculars. “Uh oh, that kinda looks like Nessie!” Grandma says. “That is not possible! The loch ness monster is nothing more than a myth!” Bo states. Bo takes the binoculars from Grandma and looks through them. “Oh dear...it IS the loch ness monster!” Bo realizes. The monster comes out of the water and towers over their ship, roaring at them. “What do we do?!” Yeller asks. “Uh...we die? What else?” Disk asks. Yeller grabs Disk and holds him in front of him. “Take him! He has no problem with dying! Take any of them but me!” Yeller says. “Fire up the cannons! We’re taking ol’ Nessie down!” Grandma says. “Is that even possible?!” Bo questions. “We’re about to find out!” Grandma says. Kooky rolls out the cannon and aims it at the loch ness monster. “On 3! 1…” Before Grandma can finish, Kooky fires. “I SAID ON 3!” Grandma yells. “Why the (CENSORED) would I wait 3 seconds?! That’s 2 seconds more the (CENSORED) monster would have to kill us!” Kooky yells. The cannon ball hits the loch ness monster and sparks can be seen coming from it. “Wait just a moment...that is no loch ness monster! That is a machine! A robot! Someone is operating it!” Bo realizes. Inside the fake loch ness monster, Man-Shark is slamming the control panel in a rage. Meanwhile, the monster roars even louder. “The thing is still kicking, we’ve gotta fire more at it!” Grandma says. Nearby in the ocean, the Devious Divas’ ship appears.

On the Devious Divas’ ship, Daisy looks through the binoculars. “Do you see that?” Daisy asks. “Is that the other team?” Claire wonders. “More importantly, I think I see the loch ness monster.” Daisy says. “Should we help them?” Claire wonders. “Why do that when we can take the opportunity to sabotage them and win the challenge?” Daisy asks. “How do you figure we do that?” Claire wonders. “While they’re distracted by the monster, we sink their ship.” Daisy says. “But they’ll drown!” Claire points out. “No they won’t.” Daisy says, before pointing. Claire looks into the distance and spots the island! “Their little disaster will be a minor setback, but they’ll live. So, do you know how to operate a cannon?” Daisy asks. “I can figure it out.” Claire says. Daisy smiles. “I knew I could count on you.” Daisy says. Chimney Man rolls over a cannon. “Did someone say cannon?” Chimney Man asks. “Oh no, we cannot let him operate that!” Daisy says. Claire runs over to Chimney Man. “Hey buddy, why don’t I take it from here?” Claire asks. “Awwww, but I wanna kill them!” Chimney Man says. “Maybe later, but for now we’re just going to sink them.” Claire says. “Okay.” Chimney Man says, before walking away. Claire then grabs the cannon and aims it at the other ship…

Back on the Overbearing Producers’ ship, Kooky fires another shot at the monster and it sinks into the ocean. “We did it!” Yeller exclaims. “We?” Kooky asks. “And look! I dare say I see the island off in the distance! It would appear we are in the clear!” Bo says. Suddenly, a cannon ball is fired from the distance and hits their ship! “Or not.” Disk says. The ship begins to descend into the water. “We’re sinking! FOR REAL THIS TIME!” Grandma yells. “Some captain you are!” Disk says. Yeller looks through the binoculars and sees the Devious Divas’ ship. “THEY did this!” Yeller realizes, as their ship continues to sink under water.

Meanwhile, The Devious Divas’ ship pulls up to the island and Claire, Daisy, Chimney Man, Leafy Fan, and Cop get off the boat. “And it looks like we have our winners! The Devious Divas!” Sam announces. “We did it!” Claire exclaims. Dun Dun gets off the ship. “What going on?! Why everyone off boat? Did we lose?” Dun Dun asks. “No we didn’t lose, we won!” Daisy says. “We we should have lost! It would serve Rose right for having audacity to punch Dun Dun!” Dun Dun says. “Silly Dun Dun, Rose was the one who was in a ship wreck, I wasn’t.” Daisy says. The Overbearing Producers wash up on shore riding a wooden raft. “This is an OUTRAGE! They clearly cheated!” Yeller shouts. “They could have killed us! Surely that is against the rules!” Bo says. “Did you miss the part in the contract you signed which states there aren’t any rules? And on that note, The Overbearing Producers will be the ones sending someone home in the next elimination!” Sam announces. “AGAIN?! (CENSORED)!” Kooky yells.

Sam is now standing on the dock of the island. “And that concludes another episode of Total Yeller Mania Castaways...er, I mean Director’s Cut. With The Overbearing Producers losing, that means Yeller, Bo, Grandma, Disk, and Kooky are all at risk! Who is going home next? Find out on the next Total...Yeller...Mania...Director’s Cut!” Sam says.