Episode 09: Total Yeller Wrestle Mania

Sam is standing in the middle of the film lot. “Last week on Total Yeller Mania Director’s Cut! We had our first elimination following the merge and our second three way tie, putting Disk, Daisy, and Bo on the line. In the end, Disk ended up getting the short end of the stick and took a long bus ride home after being eliminated. With just 7 contestants left, the cast were dealt with quite the shock when Daisy walked into the cafeteria the next morning, no longer wearing her body cast. After that, I popped in and revealed the next challenge to the cast...they’d be building a rocket ship and heading for the moon! Not really, we can’t afford that on this show. The contestant who built the best rocket ship would be given an unfair advantage in the next phase of the challenge, that contestant ended up being Grandma who was awarded a metal detector. What was the next phase of the challenge you ask? Each contestant was tasked with finding a rare metal on the moon...AKA a set our prop guys built. Grandma ended up finding the metal with her metal detector but before she was awarded immunity, Daisy attacked her and took the metal for herself! Before Daisy could be awarded immunity, Mr. Whiskers swooped in and tried to steal the metal. As Grandma, Daisy, and Mr. Whiskers brawled over the metal, it ended up falling into the hands of Chimney Man, who as a result, won the challenge AND a free ticket into the final six! Since Chimney Man won, that means Claire, Daisy, Yeller, Bo, Grandma, and Mr. Whiskers are all at risk! Which one of them won’t make it long enough to compete in today’s episode’s challenge? Find out in an all new episode of Total...Yeller...Mania...Director’s Cut!” Sam says.

Claire, Daisy, Chimney Man, Yeller, Bo, Grandma, and Mr. Whiskers are all sitting in front of the stage. “I still can’t believe that brainless chimney guy got the metal! It was mine! MINE!” Grandma shouts. “No, it was mine! I took it from you fair and square!” Daisy argues. “Meow meow meow meow!” Mr. Whiskers shouts. “Tbh, none of you deserved it!” Claire says. “You wanna say that to my face, blondie?” Grandma asks. “Everyone, lets try and calm down. We are nearing the end of the season, we should try our best to get along.” Bo says. “Put a cork in it, Mr. Monopoly!” Daisy says. “Huh, he does kinda look like the monopoly guy, except with a taller hat and a monocle.” Yeller says. “What are you talking about? The monopoly guy DOES have a monocle!” Claire says. “No he doesn’t!” Yeller argues. “Yes he DOES!” Claire argues. “I should go out and buy a monocle, all the cool people are wearing them these days!” Chimney Man says. “Why Mr. Chimney Man, that may be the most sensible thing you have said all season.” Bo says. “It wouldn’t take much for him to make that accomplishment…” Daisy mutters. Sam walks onto the stage. “Good evening cast, time for yet another elimination ceremony! Who’s ready to go home?” Sam asks. Bo raises his hand. “Dad, its a million bucks!” Yeller points out. “Perhaps, but these challenges are a touch difficult.” Bo says. “Without anymore delay, lets hand out the awards! Chimney Man, since you won the last challenge, you are safe for another day!” Sam says, as he throws Chimney Man the award. “Wow, thanks Cam!” Chimney Man says. “Its SAM! I thought we were done with that nonsense when Dun Dun left! Anyways...Grandma, you are also safe.” Sam says, as he throws Grandma the award. “The next one safe is...Yeller!” Sam says, as he throws Yeller an award. “Daisy, you are also safe!” Sam says, as he throws Daisy an award. “I-I am?! I mean, of course I am!” Daisy says. A spotlight shines down on Bo, Claire, and Mr. Whiskers. “Uh, what’s the light for? Surely it doesn’t mean what I think it does…” Claire says. “It means EXACTLY that! Bo, Claire, and Mr. Whiskers, each of you got the same amount of votes, which means one of you is taking the bus home!” Sam says. “I have a question!” Bo says. “Yes?” Sam asks. “Who keeps bloody voting for me?!” Bo questions. “His name is Andy, would you like an address?” Sam asks. “Yes, only so I can thank him for his support of me.” Bo says. “Riiiiiiight. Anyways, we’re gonna do things a bit differently than the last two ties. Since Chimney Man won immunity last challenge, I’m also going to let him choose who goes home!” Sam announces. Chimney Man claps his hands. “Yay!” Chimney Man exclaims. “Oh dear…” Bo mutters. “This has disaster written all over it.” Claire says. “Meow meow.” Mr. Whiskers says. “Chimney Man, come on up to the stage!” Sam says. Chimney Man walks onto the stage. “Wow, this is such an honor!” Chimney Man says. “So out of Bo, Claire, and Mr. Whiskers, who do you want out of the game?” Sam asks. “Wow, this is a tough one…” Chimney Man says. Chimney Man looks at the audience and sees Bo and Claire pointing at Mr. Whiskers. “Uh huh...alright Sam, I’ve made up my mind!” Chimney Man says. “Great! Whisper your vote to me and then we can move on.” Sam says. Chimney Man walks over to Sam and whispers a name in his ear. “Okay, now that we have our loser, its time to hand out the next two awards! Bo, congratulations, you are safe!” Sam says, as he throws Bo an award. “Lucky me…” Bo mutters. “Claire and Mr. Whiskers, I’m sorry to say that one of you is going home. Who will it be? The final award goes to...Mr. Whiskers!” Sam says, as he throws Mr. Whiskers an award. “What?! Why didn’t you vote for Mr. Whiskers like Bo and I wanted you to?!” Claire asks Chimney Man. “You aren’t the boss of me!” Chimney Man tells her. “So then WHY ME?!” Claire questions. “Bo’s british accent is funny because of how fake it is, and Mr. Whiskers is such a cute kitty! Besides, you were mean to my good buds Dun Dun and Leafy Fan!” Chimney Man points out. “That’s because the three of you were sabotaging our team!” Claire notes. “That doesn’t mean you have to be rude about it!” Chimney Man says. The bus pulls up. “Your ride is here, Claire!” Sam says. “Whatever, at least I can see Lauren again.” Claire says. “Guess you won’t be making it to the finale again this season. Don’t worry Claire, I’ll be sure to save you a seat for when I win.” Daisy says. “I hope when the bus comes to pick up you that it accidentally runs you over!” Claire says. “Rude!” Daisy says. Claire approaches the bus but then turns around. “I wish I could say it was nice playing with all of you, but...it really wasn’t. I can’t think of a single one of you that I like.” Claire says. “Yeah...these people do kinda suck.” Yeller says. “Pardon?!” Bo asks. “Watch it, kid!” Grandma warns. “Well whatever, goodbye and good riddance!” Claire says, before getting on the bus. The bus then drives away. “So is anyone gonna miss her?” Yeller asks. No one responds. “Didn’t think so.” Yeller says.

The next morning, Yeller, Bo, Grandma, Mr. Whiskers, Daisy, and Chimney Man are all sitting in the cafeteria. “You can’t try and say I didn’t raise my family right! Me, my son, and my grandson all made it into the final 6! Heck, even the stupid cat made it too!” Grandma says. “Meow!” Mr. Whiskers says. Daisy leans in towards Chimney Man. “Did you hear that? Grandma is bragging about how her and her spawn have made it all the way to the final 6!” Daisy whispers. “I know! Its so admirable how Grandma has been able to raise a family of winners!” Chimney Man says. “No, it isn’t! They have us outnumbered! If we don’t do something, they are going to kick us aside and make it into the final 4 together! There is only one thing we can do, we have to team up to make sure they don’t win! Safety in numbers!” Daisy says. “But I don’t wanna!” Chimney Man says. “Why not?!” Daisy asks. “Because I don’t like you! You were mean to my BFFs Dun Dun and Leafy Fan just like Claire was!” Chimney Man says. “Fine, be that way! But don’t come crying to me when you inevitably get eliminated because the Yeller wave of 2023 wipes you out!” Daisy says. All of a sudden, the lights dim in the cafeteria. “AH! THE LIGHTS TURNED OFF! ITS A GHOST!” Chimney Man screams. “They aren’t off, they’ve simply been dimmed!” Bo corrects him. “The day has come...the moment you have all been waiting for…” Sam can be heard saying. “Who said that?!” Grandma asks. “What day? What moment? The million dollars? Am I winning it today?” Yeller wonders. “The biggest event of the year...the show stopper of all show stoppers…” Sam can be heard saying. “Well this is tedious…” Daisy says. “Indeed.” Bo agrees. Sam does a back flip into the cafeteria, lands on a table, and breaks it. “OW!” Sam screams. “Is he okay?!” Chimney Man wonders. “Who cares?” Daisy says. Yeller walks over to Sam. “Don’t you dare die! Not before giving me MY MONEY!” Yeller tells him. Sam opens his eyes. “Nope, not dead yet.” Sam says. “Ugh…” Daisy says. Sam stands up on the broken table. “You are all in for a treat today!” Sam says. “You’re quitting?” Yeller asks. “Are you dying?” Daisy asks. “Perhaps you’re taking a vacation?” Bo asks. “None of the above! I’m talking about today’s challenge! I hope you are all ready, because you are about to compete in the event of the season! Total...Yeller...Wrestle Mania! Clever, right?” Sam asks. “Meow meow meow.” Mr. Whiskers says. “Well nobody asked you, you stupid cat!” Sam says. Mr. Whiskers gasps. Mr. Whiskers then lunges at Sam but Bo has to hold him back. “Mr. Whiskers, please! He isn’t worth it!” Bo says. “Anyways...in today’s challenge, the 6 of you will be competing in a wrestling tournament, sponsored by us here at Total Yeller Mania. The first round will be three one on one fights, the second and final round will be three people fighting each other. Whoever wins the final fight will be awarded immunity! Seem simple enough?” Sam asks. “Why are we doing wrestling in a movie themed season? Wouldn’t that fall under the sports category?” Bo asks. “Wrestling is on TV, Bo! I can’t believe I have to spell it out for you people!” Sam says. “Can I complain for a moment about the unfair advantage everyone has against me? I’m recovering from being in a wheelchair for weeks, I haven’t fully regained my strength yet!” Daisy points out. “I missed the part where that is somehow my problem.” Sam says.

Sam, Yeller, Bo, Grandma, Mr. Whiskers, Daisy, and Chimney Man arrive at a wrestling ring. “Here we are! The location of today’s challenge which I bought for a cool 5 bucks off of Greg’s List!” Sam says. “Was there anything wrong with it?” Daisy asks. “Don’t know, didn’t check. I figured you guys could test it out for me.” Sam says. “Lucky us…” Daisy says. “Anyways, lets take a gander at our match ups!” Sam says. Man-Shark rolls a TV out. Sam turns the TV on and the first match up is Grandma VS Chimney Man. “I get to fight an old lady! Awesome!” Chimney Man says. “Don’t underestimate me chimney freak, this granny has got some fight left in her still!” Grandma says. Chimney Man and Grandma both climb into the wrestling ring. “Alright, let me explain how this works. The goal is to knock your rival down! If you can keep them down for a grand total of 10 seconds, that means you can advance into the final round! Does that make sense to you?” Sam says. “Quick question. Even though we’re fighting each other, there is very little chance of there being any sort of serious injury, yes? For example, if one of our opponents becomes too violent, you’ll put a stop to the game?” Bo asks. Sam laughs. “That’s good. You’re a funny guy, Bo. Hilarious even.” Sam says. Sam turns his attention to the wrestling ring. “On the count of three, you two can start beating the crap outta each other. 3...2…” Before Sam can finish, Grandma charges at Chimney Man! Chimney Man leaps out of the way and Grandma crashes into the netting of the ring. The netting then launches her at Chimney Man, knocking him down! “Help! She’s got me!” Chimney Man calls out. Grandma pins him down. “I’ve got him, Sam! Start counting down!” Grandma demands. “1...2…” Before Sam can continue, Chimney Man slaps Grandma across the face! Everyone gasps. “Oh he is so getting canceled for that.” Yeller says. “What? No one is going to blame me for defending myself!” Chimney Man says. Sam changes the TV to the news station. “BREAKING NEWS! Chimney Man of Total Yeller Mania fame was just seen on live television slapping a defenseless and frail elderly woman.” The news reporter says. Sam turns the TV off. “That might be bad for your business.” Sam says. “Well might as well go all the way then.” Chimney Man says. Chimney Man knees Grandma in the stomach and throws her off of him! “Did I win?” Chimney Man asks. Grandma stands up. “Oh you are DEFINITELY gonna regret that, kid…” Grandma warns. “Mommy…” Chimney Man whimpers. Grandma begins running after Chimney Man, chasing him around in a circle in the battle arena. “Run Chimney Man! Don’t let that old geezer win!” Daisy shouts. “Since when do you care about Chimney Man?” Yeller asks. “I don’t, I just care about your family losing. Speaking of your family losing, the misfortune of having to talk to you actually gave me a FABULOUS idea!” Daisy says. Meanwhile, as Grandma continues chasing Chimney Man around the wrestling ring, she is knocked over when Yeller flies through the air and crashes into her! “Where the heck did you come from?!” Grandma asks. “Daisy picked me up and threw me at you!” Yeller says. “Well make yourself useful and hit the actual enemy!” Grandma picks up Yeller and throws him at Chimney Man! Yeller crashes into Chimney Man and knocks him to the ground. With Yeller on top of him, Chimney Man struggles to get up. Sam runs over to them. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! Chimney Man is OUT! Grandma wins the first fight!” Sam says. Yeller rolls out of the arena, groaning in pain. Daisy walks over to him. “You were supposed to knock out the old bag, you dolt!” Daisy complains. “Do it yourself, assuming you even make it that far.” Yeller says. “Speaking of making it that far, its time to find out who our next fight will be between!” Sam says. Sam turns on the TV and the next match is revealed to be Daisy VS Mr. Whiskers. “I have to fight a cat?!” Daisy asks. Mr. Whiskers hisses at Daisy. “Good luck, you’re gonna need it!” Sam exclaims.

Daisy and Mr. Whiskers are now in the wrestling ring. “It is Daisy vs Mr. Whiskers! The rules are the same as the last fight, whichever contestant gets knocked down for 10 seconds loses the fight while their opponent advances to the final round! The fight starts in 3…” Before Sam can finish, Mr. Whiskers launches himself off the netting of the arena at Daisy! “Can’t anyone wait for me to countdown before starting?!” Sam asks. Mr. Whiskers knocks Daisy to the ground and begins clawing at her face! “OW! Someone get this creature off of me!” Daisy screams. “Well this is kinda satisfying.” Yeller says. “I don’t usually take pleasure in other people’s pain, and yet...I am oddly pleased at the sight of Daisy being attacked.” Bo says. “Chimney Man, HELP ME! I helped you!” Daisy claims. “No you didn’t!” Chimney Man argues. “Well it was the thought that counted!” Daisy tells him. Daisy then picks up Mr. Whiskers and throws him across the wrestling ring. “Oh dear, she really shouldn’t have done that.” Bo says. After landing on the ground on the other side of the ring, Mr. Whiskers stands up, his eyes filled with rage. Daisy nervously smiles. “N-nice kitty! Forgiving kitty! Non murderous kitty!” A scared Daisy says. “Is she talking about the same Mr. Whiskers?” Yeller wonders. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” Mr. Whiskers screams as he charges at Daisy. Daisy begins running from Mr. Whiskers. “What?! I said I was sorry!” Daisy claims. “I don’t remember no apology.” Grandma comments. As Mr. Whiskers is chasing Daisy around, a piece of the floor on the arena breaks and he falls in! “MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOW!” Mr. Whiskers can be heard screaming. Daisy walks over to the hole and looks in. “Wow, that’s a deep hole.” Daisy notes. “In that case, I guess Mr. Whiskers loses and Daisy moves on to the final round!” Sam says. “YES!” Daisy exclaims. “Cheater…” Yeller mumbles.

Mr. Whiskers is seen being wheeled away on a stretcher. “While Mr. Whiskers’ injuries are assessed, lets move on to the next round! Yeller and Bo, the two of you are the only ones left which means you will be fighting each other by default!” Sam says. “Oh dear, I couldn’t possibly fight my own son…” Bo says. “Don’t worry, Dad. I won’t hurt you.” Yeller says. Yeller and Bo walk into the wrestling ring. “And here we go! A battle of the titans! Father vs son!” Sam says. “Titans?! My son Bo ain’t no titan!” Grandma says. “Whatever! The match starts in 3...2...1...and GO!” Sam shouts. “I...I don’t know, Sam. I don’t feel comfortable fighting my own-” Before Bo can finish, Yeller kicks him in the face! Bo falls to the ground and Yeller pins him down. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10! Bo is out, which means Yeller can advance to the final round!” Sam exclaims. “You...traitor!” Bo mutters. “Oh please, like you wouldn’t have done the same thing.” Yeller says. “I wouldn’t have!” Bo argues. “Sure Jan.” Yeller says. “With Yeller, Daisy, and Grandma advancing to the final round, its time to see who is going to be our wrestling champion and win themselves a free ticket into the final 5!” Sam says.

Grandma, Daisy, and Yeller are now in three separate corners of the wrestling ring. “Here we are in the final round of our wrestling tournament!” Sam says. “There were two rounds with only 6 people, this hardly even qualifies as a tournament.” Daisy argues. “No useless comments from the peanut gallery! Now where was I?” Sam asks. “You were just announcing that Yeller is the winner of today’s challenge.” Yeller says. “Oh, right. The winner of today’s challenge is Y-HEY!!!” Sam yells. “Almost worked.” Yeller says. “ANYWAYS, we are in the final round, three contestants that are going to battle it out for the gold trophy! The last contestant standing makes it into the final 5! Is everyone ready to rumble?” Sam asks. “I’ve been ready, Sam! Who wants to get knocked out first?! Come on! I’ll kick all of your butts, even the half shark half man!” Grandma says. Man-Shark raises an eye in confusion. “Riiiiiiiiiight. So the battle starts in 3...2…” Before Sam can finish, Grandma and Daisy charge at each other! Daisy manages to tackle Grandma to the ground and pin her down. Yeller comes up behind Daisy and throws her aside! “Leave Grandma alone!” Yeller tells her. Grandma stands up and backhands Yeller, knocking him to the ground! “I don’t need you to defend me!” Grandma says. Grandma goes to attack Daisy but Yeller gets up and jumps on her back! Grandma manages to pry Yeller off of herself and throws him at Daisy, but Daisy ducks and Yeller hits the netting of the ring. Yeller is then launched back at Grandma and knocks her to the ground! “This is absolute chaos! I love it!” Sam says. Daisy walks over to Sam and swipes the microphone out of his hand. “GIVE ME THAT!” Daisy yells. Daisy then whips the microphone at Yeller and hits him in the head! “Nice shot!” Sam says. “Not really, I was aiming for Grandma.” Daisy says. Yeller attempts to get up but Grandma tramples over him running after Daisy. Sam walks over to Yeller. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10! Yeller is unable to battle!” Sam says. “THE BRONZE MEDAL?!” Yeller asks. “That means Grandma and Daisy remain! Who will win?” Sam wonders. Grandma walks over to Sam and picks him up. “Wait, what are you doing?!” Sam asks. “You said there ain’t no rules, I’m putting that to the test!” Grandma says. Grandma then throws Sam towards Daisy! Sam turns to face Daisy as he is flying through the air and sees she is holding a baseball bat! “Wait! NO! PLEASE!” Sam yells. Daisy swings the bat at Sam, hits him in the head, and launches him back towards Grandma! “Oh no you don’t!” Grandma says. Grandma picks Yeller up off the ground and uses him as a shield when Sam comes flying at her, causing him to hit Yeller instead! Sam then falls to the ground. “Ow…” Sam mutters. “Get outta the way!” Grandma picks up Sam and throws him out of the arena! “And stay gone!” Grandma shouts. As Grandma is distracted, Daisy punches her in the face! Grandma falls down and Daisy jumps on top of her, holding her by the throat. “Stay...DOWN!!!!!!” Daisy growls. Yeller looks around and sees no sign of Sam. “Okay, guess I’m doing this.” Yeller says. Yeller walks over to Daisy and Grandma. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Grandma is out, the winner is Daisy!” Yeller announces. “Yay me!” Daisy exclaims. “I...I guess that means Daisy won or something?” Yeller asks. “Not just the fight, I won immunity.” Daisy notes. “Right, yeah, whatever.” Yeller says. “So where’s Sam?” Daisy asks. “Over here.” Bo says. Sam is revealed to still be unconscious on the ground. Grandma stands up. “Is he gonna be okay? What happens to the million dollars if he isn’t?” Grandma asks. “Maybe we all win a million dollars!” Chimney Man suggests. “No, that’d be stupid.” Daisy says. Bo kneels down next to Sam. “Sam! Sam! The challenge is over! I believe that means the episode is over as well!” Bo says. Sam doesn’t respond. “Oh dear…” Bo says. Bo turns to face the camera. “Um...well...it would appear that yet another episode of Total Yeller Mania Director’s Cut has come to a startling conclusion. With Daisy reigning victorious over all others in today’s thrilling challenge, that means Yeller, my dear mother Grandma, Chimney Man, Mr. Whiskers, and myself are all at risk of elimination. Who will live to compete another day? Find out in the next nail biting episode of Total Yeller Mania: Director’s Cut!” Bo says.