Episode 02: Ghostbusters

Sam is standing on the dock of the island. “Last time on Total Yeller Mania Castaways. Fourteen contestants were dropped off on this very island to compete for a grand prize of one million bucks. Unfortunately, I neglected to mention that they were competing in a new season of Total Yeller Mania and everyone thought they were here on a vacation getaway. Well, almost everyone. Newcomer Daisy managed to figure out the truth by doing something that no one else dared to do...read the contract! Anyways, once everyone had arrived, two teams were formed: The Graceful Dolphins and The Formidable Mermaids. Once the teams were formed, the contestants competed in an obstacle course positioned over the ocean, where they had to deal with a little interference from Man-Shark. In the end, The Formidable Mermaids had the most contestants make it to the finish line, which meant they won the challenge! The Graceful Dolphins went to the bonfire to vote someone out, and to everyone’s surprise, Yeller was the first contestant of Total Yeller Mania Castaways to be voted off. But, even more to everyone’s surprise, it turned out that Yeller was safe because the contestants have no say this season who goes home and who stays! This season, the audience will be deciding who gets eliminated each episode! So what do you think, viewers? Who will be going home this episode? Find out in an all new, exciting episode of Total...Yeller...Mania...Castaways!” Sam exclaims.

Yeller, Cop, Disk, Creepy Guy, Mr. Whiskers, Andy, and The Chimney Man are all sitting around a bon fire, as Sam walks up holding a plate of marshmallows. “I’m glad everyone could make it, now we can get the REAL elimination out of the way. Lets hope you don’t get the boot again, Yeller.” Sam says. Yeller glares at his teammates. “Okay, the marshmallows go to...Andy, Cop, Mr. Whiskers, The Chimney Man, and...Yeller.” Sam says, as he tosses marshmallows to those five. “Creepy Guy and Disk, you two were the only ones who got votes against you, which means one of you are going home. But unfortunately...you both got the same amount of votes.” Sam reveals. “What?! What do we do in a case like that?” Disk questions. “Easy! We flip a coin!” Sam announces. “You mean my fate is in the hands of a freaking coin?! Seriously?” Disk questions. “I would tell you who is heads and who is tails, but I don’t want to spoil the surprise. So lets get this show on the road!” Sam says, as he flips the coin. The coin lands on the ground, and Sam picks it up. “And the final marshmallow goes to...Disk!” Sam reveals. Creepy Guy suddenly faints. “Yes! I’m SAFE!” Disk shouts. Sam goes to throw the marshmallow, but then stops himself. “What’s wrong? Give me the marshmallow!” Disk demands. “Yeah, about that...something just occurred to me. You see, this elimination is actually a scheduled DOUBLE elimination, and since you and Creepy Guy both got the same amount of votes, that means you’re BOTH out of the competition!” Sam reveals. “What?! You can’t do this to me!” Disk states. “I’m the host, I can do anything I want.” Sam says.

Yeller, Cop, Mr. Whiskers, Andy, and The Chimney Man are now standing on the dock of the island as Disk and Creepy Guy walk by them. “This is unbelievable! I was one of the most formidable contestants in the game!” Disk claims. “You got knocked out as soon as the last challenge started!” Yeller points out. “I still made it across the finish line, didn’t I?!” Disk asks. Creepy Guy hugs Disk, but Disk throws him to the ground. “Get off me you weirdo!” Disk snaps. “I’ll still sweep your chimney! Just give me a call!” The Chimney Man says. “Drop dead!” Disk tells him, as he climbs on to the log of shame. Sam walks over to Creepy Guy. “You too, buddy. Get on the log of shame.” Sam tells him. Creepy Guy stares at Sam for a moment, before making a run for it back to the island! Creepy Guy finds Man-Shark waiting for him at the end of the dock. Man-Shark grabs Creepy Guy and throws him on to the log of shame next to Disk. “This thing feels like its going to sink!” Disk notes. “Don’t worry! It was inspected 17 years ago, its fine!” Sam claims. The log begins to sail away with Creepy Guy and Disk on it. “Bye guys! I’ll miss you!” Andy calls out. “Will you really?” Cop asks. “No, not really.” Andy says.

The next day at about 5am, a blood curdling scream can be heard echoing through the island. No one reacts. Sam runs up to the contestant’s cabins, clears his throat, and then lets out another blood curdling scream. Claire pokes her head out of the cabin. “What...are...you...DOING?!” Claire angrily asks. “I’m screaming for help!” Sam notes. “Its 5am! Can’t this wait until noon?” Claire asks. “I’m dying and you expect me to wait another 7 hours before I can call for help?!” Sam asks. “I’m glad we understand each other. Thanks!” Claire says, before going back inside the cabin. Sam pulls out an air horn and uses it. A moment later, all of the contestants come outside. “What’s with all the noise? I’m trying to get some beauty rest!” Dylan says. “If that’s what you’re going for, maybe try going back to sleep for a week.” Daisy suggests. “Sorry to wake you all…” Sam says. “No you’re not!” Yeller argues. “But this couldn’t wait. See, we have a serious problem on our hands!” Sam states. “The show has been canceled and we are being sent home early?” Bo asks. “Nope, sorry. The show isn’t going anywhere!” Sam says. Lauren looks over at The Graceful Dolphins. “Wait, aren’t you guys missing a few people?” Lauren asks. “Turns out that last night was a double elimination, so Disk and Creepy Guy got the boot. Also turns out that the viewers will be the ones deciding who gets voted out, which means we have to try our best to be likable.” Cop says.

CLAIRE’S CONFESSIONAL: “I’d like to think that I am a very likable person. I’m funny, I’m pretty, I’m charismatic, all reasons not to vote me out! You guys agree with me, don’t you?” Claire asks, looking at the camera.

“Lets try to get back on track, yeah?” Sam asks. “Before we do that, I have just one question...is anyone interested in having their chimney swept? I have a business card!” The Chimney Man says. “NO!” Everyone yells. “Well jeez, you don’t have to be so touchy about it…” The Chimney Man says. “Moving on...so is anyone wondering why I woke you up screaming in the middle of the night?” Sam asks. “You were screaming?” Daisy asks. “YES!” Sam shouts. “Dun Dun heard you, she just no care.” Dun Dun says. “Thanks...anyway, I don’t know if any of you know this, but I am staying in a cabin on this very island.” Sam reveals. “How come we’ve never seen it?” Andy asks. “You aren’t supposed to. Its in a spot inaccessible to the contestants. Anyway, I’m fast asleep this morning when I heard a knocking noise. I woke up, looked around, no one was there. I laid back down, heard it again, checked it out, and that’s when I saw it...it was a ghost!” Sam reveals. “There’s no such thing as ghosts! Lets be real!” The Chimney Man says. “Actually, there are. I visit the Astral Plane regularly so I see a lot of them.” Claire says. “I’m pretty sure that’s called a dream, babe.” Daisy says. “And I’m pretty sure you’re clueless as usual, “babe”. Claire snaps. Claire turns towards Lauren. “You believe in ghosts, right?” Claire questions. “Well...I’ve never actually SEEN one.” Lauren says. “We’re getting off track!” Sam says. “So your little hideaway is haunted...what do you expect us to do about it?” Yeller asks. “I expect you to get rid of it!” Sam states. “For free?!” Dun Dun asks. “Look people, I’m not asking you to do it, I’m TELLING you. This is an official challenge! I am sending both teams into the cabin with equipment to help them find the ghost. The first team that runs out of the cabin in fear loses and will have to send someone home.” Sam says. “Any chance I can sit this one out?” Andy asks. “Sure you can! As long as you don’t mind being eliminated from the competition.” Sam says. “Actually, I’d be okay with that.” Andy says. “Well your contract with the series wouldn’t be. As a contestant of Total Yeller Mania, you are required to compete in every challenge for as long as you are in the game. You would’ve known that if you had bothered to read the contract you signed.” Sam says. “We didn’t know we were signing a contract!” Yeller points out. “You would have if you had actually read it! Anyways, lets make our way over to the cabin.” Sam says.

The twelve contestants are following Sam through the woods. “I didn’t even know this part of the island existed, and I’ve competed on this show how many times?” Yeller asks. “There’s a reason for that. I didn’t want any of you intruding on my me time.” Sam says. Everyone finally reaches the cabin, which is huge. “This isn’t a cabin! Its a bloody mansion!” Bo says. “This place makes the Stanpatos mansion look like a shed!” Dylan notes. “Its not THAT big.” Sam claims. “Its ginormous!” Claire argues. “Can Dun Dun move in with you, Pam?” Dun Dun asks. “Its Sam…” Sam clarifies. “So you expect us to locate a ghost in this big, huge building?” Andy asks. “Yup! Hope that’s not a problem.” Sam says. “So what are you giving us?” Cop asks. “I’m gonna provide each team with three items. The first of which is an EMF reader! This will go off whenever you find yourselves near the ghost. The second item is a spirit box. Talk into it and you can ask the ghost questions. Last but not least is a salt gun. Ghosts don’t like salt. If you shoot the ghost with salt, you might just force it to leave the premises! Just make sure the shot counts. Each gun only comes with three shots.” Sam says. “Wonderful…” Daisy mutters. “Its no problem, I’ll get it in one shot.” Lauren says. Daisy raises her hand. “So, I have a question? What happens if it turns out the ghost ISN’T real and you dreamed the whole thing?” Daisy asks. “Then I guess the first team that can prove that wins.” Sam says. Sam opens the front door, and several bats come flying out. “Happy hunting!” Sam says.

The Graceful Dolphins are walking down a corridor, with Cop holding an EMF reader. “Nothing so far…” Cop says. “It might help if you actually tried turning it on.” Yeller says, as he clicks the on switch. “Meow meow meow meow meow.” Mr. Whiskers tells Cop. “Oh meow you too!” Cop tells him. Mr. Whiskers’ eyes widen, and he flies at Cop’s face! “Get it off me!” Cop screams, as Mr. Whiskers hisses and scratches at Cop’s face. Andy pulls Mr. Whiskers off of Cop. “Come on, team! We need to learn to get along better if we’re going to win this! I think with me as the team captain, we’ll-” Before The Chimney Man can finish, Yeller interrupts. “You are NOT our team captain! I wouldn’t want you to lead a lesson on nap time, never mind our team!” Yeller says. “Well SOMEONE needs to lead this team away from the brink of ruin, especially after we’ve already lost two members! Why not it be someone who has experience leading a team?” The Chimney Man asks. “Okay. One, those team mates were dead weight, and two, you might want to dial it back a bit, you sound like you’re running for president!” Yeller says. “Well maybe I should be!!! When I become president, chimney sweeps will be mandatory, and anyone who doesn’t get one will be SHOT!” The Chimney Man announces. “You people are being ridiculous! We don’t need a team leader! But if we were to have one, I think I would be the best man for the job.” Cop says. “You?! The only thing you know how to lead is a search and rescue for a missing doughnut!” Yeller says. “Okay, we all need to take a step back and calm down! While we are standing here arguing, the other team is probably working together effortlessly to find this ghost and win the challenge!” Andy says.

“Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look with those knee high boots? You look like an anime character!” Daisy tells Claire. “Well at least I look cute, unlike you!” Claire argues. “Arguing about the important things I see…” Lauren sarcastically says. “Ladies, we need to try and remain focused! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it would seem Dun Dun is the only one taking the challenge seriously!” Bo says. Dun Dun is standing in a dark corner of the room with the spirit box. “Where are you? What do you want?” Dun Dun asks. Dun Dun turns towards the other members of the team. “It no wanna talk to Dun Dun!” Dun Dun complains. “Have you tried getting a personality transplant? Maybe it’ll make you more approachable.” Daisy suggests. “Have Poppy tried to shut up?!” Dun Dun asks. “Ooooooh, burn!” Claire says. “Is everyone going to ignore the fact that she just screwed up my name?!” Daisy asks. “No one cares enough about you to correct her.” Grandma says. “Now now mother, that wasn’t very nice.” Bo says. “Neither was you being born, but here we are!” Grandma says. Suddenly, Lauren’s EMF reader starts going off. “I’m getting a reading.” Lauren reveals. “You realize Sam probably rigged those, right?” Daisy asks. “Girl shut up.” Claire says. Lauren approaches a room. “Its coming from in here.” Lauren says. Dun Dun runs by her and into the room. Dun Dun immediately turns off the lights and turns on her spirit box. “Where are you?! What do you want?!” Dun Dun questions. “Death…” A voice over the box says. “You want to die? You already dead silly!” Dun Dun says. “You do realize that’s probably Sam, right?” Daisy asks. “Who are you?” Dun Dun asks. “Mark…” The ghost answers. Dun Dun turns towards Daisy. “His name Mark, not Pam!” Dun Dun says. “He’s clearly messing with us!” Daisy says. “Oh? And how do we know that?” Claire asks. “Because there is no such thing as-” Before Daisy can finish, a plate flies across the room and hits her in the face! “You were saying?” Claire asks. Daisy manages to stand back up. “Must’ve been special effects. We ARE on TV.” Daisy points out. Suddenly, the room begins to shake and furniture begins moving on its own! “This doesn’t seem like no special effects to me! Where’s the salt gun?!” Dylan asks. “What am I going to shoot at?! I can’t see it!” Lauren points out. Dun Dun picks up the spirit box. “Show yourself!” Dun Dun demands. Suddenly, Mark materializes and flies right at Dun Dun! “Holy crap, its REAL!” Daisy realizes. Lauren shoots at Mark, but Mark disappears before he can be hit and the salt hits Daisy instead! “Ouch! I thought you said you wouldn’t miss!” Daisy snaps. “Oops.” Lauren says.

“Did you hear all of that yelling?” Yeller asks. “The other team might’ve found the ghost!” Andy notes. “Great! If they stop it, we lose...AGAIN!” Cop says. “Oh no, we aren’t losing another challenge! We’re going to stop that ghost!” The Chimney Man says. “Meow?” Mr. Whiskers asks. “I think I know exactly how to do it.” The Chimney Man says.

Meanwhile, Lauren, Claire, Dun Dun, Daisy, Grandma, Bo, and Dylan are all hidden away inside a closet. “Did we lose him?” Dylan wonders. Heavy breathing can be heard outside the closet. “No, don’t think so.” Lauren says. “Hey Claire?” Daisy says. “What?!” An annoyed Claire asks. “So, um...I’m...uh...I’m kinda sorry about the whole...doubting you thing.” Daisy says. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I don’t think I heard you right.” Claire says. “I am sorry!” Daisy loudly tells her. “One more time?” Claire asks. Daisy sighs.

CLAIRE’S CONFESSIONAL: “Believe it or not, I do appreciate having Daisy around. She gives me someone to argue with, and that is very therapeutic.” Claire says.

DAISY’S CONFESSIONAL: “How humiliating...this is the last time I will EVER give someone the advantage of being right!” Daisy says.

“I don’t hear anything out there! Maybe he finally left!” Claire suggests. “Or maybe he’s waiting for us to come out so that he can kill us!” Lauren says. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid! Since when?” Claire asks. “I’m not afraid! I’m trying to keep all of you safe, don’t ask me why!” Lauren says. “I’m not sitting around in this closet for another second!” Grandma says. Grandma swings the door open and walks out. “Where are you, you stupid ghost?!” Grandma asks. No response. “Maybe the ghost went out to lunch.” Dylan suggests. “Do ghosts do that?” Daisy asks. Well ghosts must eat something!” Claire says. The door swings open, and the lights begin flickering! “He’s back!!!” Bo screams. “Everyone try and stay calm!” Dylan yells, before running towards the nearest exit! When Dylan tries to open the door, he finds that its locked. Lauren aims the salt gun, but Grandma rips it out of her hand. “Give me that! If you want something done right, leave it to the old people!” Grandma snaps. “Said no one ever.” Daisy adds. “You don’t even know what you’re shooting at and we only have two shots left!” Lauren points out. Grandma fires a shot. “Correction, we only have one shot left.” Lauren says. “Come out and play, Ghosty! Grandma just wants to say hi!” Grandma says. “This reminds me of a blow up ghost I had when I was just a lad named Moldy.” Bo says. “How does this remind you of him?” Daisy asks. “Because my mother killed him just like she’s going to kill this ghost. She saw that I loved him, so...so she took a pin and she popped him!” Bo states, before he begins sobbing in Daisy’s arms. Daisy pats him on the head. “There, there…” Daisy says.

BO’S CONFESSIONAL: Bo is still sobbing. “MOLDY NO!!!!” Bo cries in agony.

Suddenly, Mark appears in front of Grandma. “Got you now.” Grandma says. Grandma fires a shot at Mark, but Dun Dun jumps in front of the salt and is hit instead! “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Dylan asks. “Mark Dun Dun’s friend, she not going to let you kill him!” Dun Dun says. “He’s already dead, you MORON!” Daisy yells. Suddenly, a vacuum can be heard running. Everyone turns and sees The Chimney Man standing behind Mark, holding a vacuum hose! “Say hello to Elvis for me!” The Chimney Man says, before vacuuming Mark up! “Did...did he just vacuum the ghost up?” Claire asks. “Why do I feel like I’ve seen that somewhere before?” Dylan asks. “Marky NOOOOOOOOOO!” Dun Dun cries. Sam comes into the room. “And The Graceful Dolphins win today’s challenge!” Sam announces. “But they didn’t even use the equipment you gave them!” Daisy points out. “No one said they needed to! I just wanted that ghost gone, and now he is! But since The Graceful Dolphins won, that means The Formidable Mermaids will soon be losing a member of their team!” Sam says.

DAISY’S CONFESSIONAL: “Okay, so...I know that I’ve been a little...lets say extra. But extra can be entertaining, right? Do you really want to vote me off? If extra isn’t your thing, I can change! I can learn to be nice!” Daisy claims. Someone knocks on the door. “Are you almost done in there?!” Cop asks. “Buzz off, loser! Important people are talking!” Daisy snaps. Daisy turns to face the camera. “Okay, that didn’t count. NOW I can learn to be nice.” Daisy says.

COP’S CONFESSIONAL: “I don’t actually have anything to say.” Cop says.

CLAIRE’S CONFESSIONAL: “I realize that its up to the audience who goes home, but just to plant a bug in your ear, Dun Dun DID kinda cost us the challenge. Don’t get me wrong, Daisy is nuts, but at least she’s sorta useful. At least I know she’s not going to steal my nail polish in the middle of the night and sell it on the black market!” Claire says.

THE CHIMNEY MAN’S CONFESSIONAL: “I’m something of a big deal on my team after I won us the challenge. Maybe now people will finally start to realize that I’m not just an average chimney sweep, I am a competent competitor!” The Chimney Man says. The Chimney Man gets up and goes to pull the door open, but it won’t budge. “Something is wrong with this door! I’M TRAPPED! I AM GOING TO DIE IN HERE!” The Chimney Man yells. “Push the door, don’t pull it!” Sam can be heard saying. The Chimney Man pushes the door open. “Oh.” The Chimney Man says.

Sam is standing on the dock. “And that concludes another episode! Just to recap, the contestants on the chopping block are Lauren, Daisy, Dun Dun, Claire, Grandma, Bo, and Dylan. Be sure to email the network with your vote. So which of those contestants will be eliminated you ask? Find out in the next episode of Total...Yeller...Mania...CASTAWAYS!” Sam says.