S2 Episode 09: Divorce Court

*Yeller is sitting on the couch with Dun Dun. "Where did the popcorn go?" Yeller asks. "Dun Dun ate it." Dun Dun says. "But I just brought the bowl in!" Yeller says. "Well you weren't eating it." Dun Dun says. "I would've if you had actually given me the chance!" Yeller says. The doorbell rings. "Oh wow, someone actually knows how to ring the doorbell." Yeller says. "Must be no one important if they no just walk in." Dun Dun says. Yeller gets up and answers the door, and finds Ray standing there. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" Yeller asks. "I'm Ray, remember? I used to live next door? My wife was a lazy leech who spent all my money? You would hear me crying late at night? Does any of that ring a bell?" Ray asks. "Vaguely, so what brings you back to Littlebridge?" Yeller asks. "Me and Laura finally came to blows and ended our marriage. Ha, good luck getting anywhere in life without my money." Ray says. "So you and Laura are divorcing, what does that have to do with me and why are you standing on my doorstep?" Yeller asks. "Well, Laura kicked me out. She seems to think that she can actually afford that house off of her income of nothing. Anyways, I need a place to stay." Ray says. "Absolutely NOT!" Yeller says. Bo comes in. "Oh, I forgot you were a character!" Bo says when he sees Ray. "Character?" Dun Dun asks. "Nothing, my dear. So tell me Ray, what brings you to our humble home?" Bo asks. "Me and Laura are getting a divorce and I need a place to stay." Ray says. "Well look no further! I would be more than happy to open my home to you!" Bo says. Yeller sighs. "Oh don't look so saddened dear boy! I have a feeling that the three of us, plus the invisible grandma, are going to have a lot of fun living here together!" Bo says.

*The next day, Yeller comes downstairs and finds Ray sitting on the couch with Dun Dun. "You know, these talk shows aren't half bad! No wonder my wife couldn't manage to lift her behind off of the couch!" Ray says. "These shows touch Dun Dun's heart." Dun Dun says. "Excuse me, what is going on here?" Yeller asks. "What it look like? We watching TV!" Dun Dun says. "I want to have a word with Ray." Yeller says. Dun Dun slides over to give Yeller room on the couch. "Alone." Yeller says. Dun Dun rolls her eyes and gets up. "Dun Dun can still listen at door, right?" Dun Dun asks. "GO!" Yeller yells. "Well bleep you too, Dun Dun go find someone else to freeload off of." Dun Dun says before leaving. Yeller sits next to Ray. "Ray, old buddy old pal, aren't you starting to miss the fun times that you and Laura had together?" Yeller asks. "What fun times?" Ray asks. "Well, you've been married for so long, there must be something that you like about her, otherwise you wouldn't have stayed with her this long." Yeller says. "She said that if I ever left her, she would sue the pants off of me." Ray says. "Well you haven't been served yet, so that's a good sign! And even if she did decide to sue you, she doesn't have a case! I think its time you go and make things right with your wife." Yeller says. "Huh, maybe your right! Thanks Yeller, I'm going to go see Laura right now!" Ray says. He gets up to leave. He opens the front door, and Betty Thorne(from QG) is standing there. "Mr. Ray, I presume?" Betty asks. "Yeah, who are you?" Ray asks. "I am Betty Thorne, attorney at law. You, my friend, have been served." Betty says as she hands him a piece of paper. "What's this?!" Ray asks. "Documentation that your wife is filing a lawsuit against you for mental stress, and I must say, she has an excellent case." Betty says. "You've gotta be kidding!" Ray says. "I assure you, Mr. Ray, I do not kid. So when our day in court arrives and your wife successfully takes you for everything you're worth, which I gather by looking at you, isn't much, then you better be ready to pay your fees. After all, how else do you think your wife can afford my services? Ciao!" Betty says before leaving. "She really is gonna sue me!" Ray says. "Oh c'mon, don't listen to that lawyer. She is only saying Laura has a good case to intimidate you." Yeller says. "Who cares? She's still suing me!" Ray yells. "Well, it is almost April Fools day, maybe its a joke!" Yeller says. "Oh no, there isn't any joke about it! I cant believe I even considered trying to make things right with her! That's it, I am staying right here!" Ray says. "No, Ray, please don't!" Yeller begs. "Yeller, I understand you want to see me and Laura reunite because you idolize us as a couple, but I refuse to be with a woman who is trying to take all of my money!" Ray says. "But she did that while you were married!" Yeller says. "And I put up with it for all of those years, but no more! From this day forward, I am an independent woman who needs no man! Wait, that didn't come out right." Ray says. Yeller sighs.

*Yeller sees Ray watching TV on the couch with Dun Dun. The doorbell rings. "Can you get that, Yeller?" Ray asks. "Ray, that no how you get him to open door. You! Bald man! Open door NOW!" Dun Dun says. Yeller goes and opens the door, and Laura is standing there. "I got your message, so is Ray really dying?" Laura asks. Yeller nods. Laura looks over at him. "He looks fine to me." Laura says. "But he isn't! Ray is suffering from a very rare form of...uh, TV remote clicking syndrome! Its a disease where after clicking a TV remote enough times, your fingers start to fall of and then you drop dead! Its a horrible disease that is incurable." Yeller says. Laura walks over to Ray. "Honey, I heard about your disease." Laura says. Ray nearly chokes on his popcorn after hearing her voice. "Aw Laura, not you!" Ray says. "Nice to see you to, dear. I can see the divorce is treating you well." Laura says. "Why, because my hair is growing back? Or maybe its because I actually smile now." Ray says. "And I actually have the motivation to leave the couch, something I could never do with you hovering around." Laura says. "How could I hover? I was off working my butt off to make us a living and you were off in dreamland where everything was free and all of the husbands were dead." Ray says. "And what a wonderful land that was." Laura says. "You know sweetheart, I know you've dedicated your life your life to ruining mine, but was this lawsuit really necessary?" Ray asks. "Well, if I'm going to live comfortably, I needed your money. After all, you know the old saying, what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine also." Laura says. "Okay, as fun as this little squabble has been, we have important things to discuss." Yeller says. "More important than talk shows?" Dun Dun asks. "Yes. Ray, I am tired of your loafing around my house and taking my seat on the couch because you and Laura had a little argument. And Laura, you already had Ray's money when you were happily married, so just reunite so you don't have to go through court to get it. Bottom line is, despite the fact that you two hate each other, you actually love each other. You get what I'm saying?" Yeller asks. "Yeah, you wanna kick me out on my butt." Ray says. "Ray, look at it this way. Your doing to me what Laura was doing to you. So kiss and make up!" Yeller says. "Yeller has a point. Lets go home and do what only we can do, fight!" Ray says. "I love the sound of that!" Laura says. She and Ray walk out. "I love happy endings." Yeller says. Dun Dun is crying. "Its beautiful, isn't it?" Yeller asks. "That not why Dun Dun crying, Dun Dun wanted to become his new freeloading wife!" Dun Dun says as she continues crying.