S4 Episode 07: Stairway to Court

In the Yeller living room, Bo is sitting on the sofa, reading a book, when Mr. Whiskers walks up to him. Mr. Whiskers begins clawing at the couch. “What the devil are you doing to my furniture?!” Bo asks. “Meow meow meow, meow meow!” Mr. Whiskers states. “Oh don’t give me that drivel! Cats are excellent jumpers, you should have no difficulties getting up here!” Bo notes. An angry Mr. Whiskers then claws Bo in the leg! “OUCH!” Bo screams in pain. “Meow MEOW!” Mr. Whiskers yells. Yeller comes out of the kitchen. “Oh son, good, you came! You must have heard my screams of terror!” Bo notes. “What? No. I was coming to let you know we’re out of pickle juice.” Yeller notes. Bo stands up. “You simply MUST do something with your cat! He is out of control!” Bo yells. “How?” Yeller asks. “Cats are generally able to leap up as high as a kitchen counter, yet YOUR cat is unable to reach the top of the sofa!” Bo notes. “Mr. Whiskers must just be different.” Yeller says. “He is NOT different! He is simply LAZY, like his owner!” Bo yells. “You know what? I have just the thing!” Yeller says. “You’ll attempt to get him to exercise?” Bo asks. “No, that would be dumb. I’m gonna get him stairs!” Yeller announces. “Stairs may be a tad expensive, son.” Bo notes. “Not an actual staircase! One of those small ones, that you get for small dogs who can’t get on the furniture.” Yeller says. “Oh yes, I believe I’ve heard of those, before. It will certainly contribute to solving this dilemma. Plus, going up and down the stairs would still give Mr. Whiskers exercise!” Bo points out. “Exactly, and do you want to know the best part?” Yeller asks. “He will no longer need my assistance to get on the furniture?” Bo asks. “Nope, I’ll be building the staircase myself!” Yeller announces. “Oh dear...are you sure that is the brightest idea?” Bo asks. “You’re right, I might need help, from someone who knows there way around tools, that is good at building stuff, that is an all around man’s man…but who?” Yeller wonders.

The scene cuts to Yeller opening the front door to Dun Dun. “What you want?” Dun Dun asks. “I need your help building a staircase for Mr. Whiskers.” Yeller reveals. “Dun Dun no do things for free.” Dun Dun says. “Okay, how much do you want?” Yeller asks. “$500.” Dun Dun reveals. “For building a small staircase?!” Yeller asks. “You staircase will die without expertise of Dun Dun! You want Misters of the Whiskers to fall and break neck?!” Dun Dun asks. Yeller groans, and hands Dun Dun a card. “Here’s my Dad’s credit card. He only has $1,000 on it, don’t spend over $500, per our agreement!” Yeller says. “Dun Dun would never spend old bald man’s money!” Dun Dun lies. “You just did in the last episode.” Yeller notes. “This sitcom, we no talk about last episode.” Dun Dun tells him.

Later that day, Yeller tips the box upside down, and all the pieces for the staircase fall out. “So what we do now?” Dun Dun asks. “I paid you $500! That much money, you should be able to put this thing together with your mind!” Yeller argues. “You sass Dun Dun again, and she WALKING!” Dun Dun threatens. “Alright, alright, no need to issue threats. Lets look at the directions.” Yeller says. Yeller looks at the directions. “Attach Part C to Part G. Where are those?” Yeller asks. Dun Dun shrugs. “Nice to see you are worth your rate.” Yeller sarcastically says. Dun Dun pushes Yeller aside. “Move loser, Dun Dun show you good staircase.” Dun Dun says. A montage begins to play of Yeller and Dun Dun building the staircase.

Dun Dun’s head is inside a triangular piece, and Yeller is trying to pull it out.

Dun Dun is chasing Yeller around the room with a hammer.

Yeller has a screw sticking out of his forehead, while Dun Dun laughs in the background.

Dun Dun is seen slamming a piece of the stairs up against the wall, in anger.

Yeller goes to hammer a screw, misses, and puts a hole in the floor instead.

“Dun Dun all finished!” Dun Dun announces, once the staircase is done. “We both worked on it! By the way, don’t you think it looks kind of...unstable?” Yeller asks. “It be fine. No worry!” Dun Dun says. “Mr. Whiskers!” Yeller calls out. Mr. Whiskers comes into the room, and the second he sees the staircase, a huge smile appears on his face. Mr. Whiskers happily skips over to the staircase. Mr. Whiskers begins to trot up the stairs, but when he reaches the top step, the entire staircase collapses, and Mr. Whiskers falls to the floor! “MR. WHISKERS!” Yeller screams. “Yeller, you kill Mr of the Whiskers!” Dun Dun yells. “You helped build the thing!” Yeller yells back.

At the hospital, Mr. Whiskers is lying in a bed, with his entire body covered in bandages. Bo, Yeller, and Dun Dun are next to the bed. “I knew the two of you shouldn’t have built that staircase.” Bo says. The doctor comes into the room. “Oh good, Doctor! Tell me, is our beloved family pet going to survive?” Bo asks. “I think so. He broke a few bones, though.” The doctor says. “Which ones?” Bo asks. “All of them. Mr. Whiskers went through a terrible ordeal, and he’ll need a lot of physical therapy and surgeries to get back to normal.” The doctor says. “So, he WILL get back to normal, yes?” Bo asks. “What do I look like to you, a doctor?” The doctor asks, before walking out. “Well, this was fun. I’m heading home.” Yeller says. “What about the cat?!” Bo asks. “What cat?” Yeller asks. “No one care about him!” Dun Dun points out, before she and Yeller walk out. “How rude of them, to simply abandon a beloved family pet in his time of need!” Bo complains. Bo turns towards Mr. Whiskers. “Well, as lovely as this has been, I have a golf game waiting for me at the country club. Ciao, old boy!” Bo says, before walking out.

Yeller and Dun Dun are sitting on the couch at the Yeller house, when the doorbell rings. “Go away!” Yeller screams. The doorbell rings again, and an annoyed Yeller answers it. “What?!” Yeller angrily asks. “Alexander Yeller?” The man asks. “Sorry, I don’t know him.” Yeller says. “Nice try.” The man says. “Listen, buddy. My beloved family pet is in the hospital, fighting for his life! The last thing I want to think about doing right now is buying some stupid girl scout cookies, so please...just leave me alone!” Yeller fake cries. The man hands Yeller an envelope. “You’ve just been served.” The man says, before walking away. “Hey, get back here! I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!” Yeller screams. Yeller slams the door, and walks over to the window! “And stay out!” Yeller screams out it. Yeller then slams the window shut. “Who that?” Dun Dun asks. “Some guy who said I got served. I don’t know with what. Do you think he was serving us a dinner menu?” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun hope it for lobster place down town! Dun Dun still have money on old bald man’s credit card!” Dun Dun notes. Yeller opens up the envelope. “MR. WHISKERS IS SUING ME FOR 10 ZILLION DOLLARS.” Yeller screams. “You shoulda built staircase better.” Dun Dun notes. “Nice try, but your name is on this court summons, too.” Yeller says. “WHAT?!” Dun Dun angrily asks. Bo comes in. “What is all the racket?” Bo asks. “Mr. Whiskers is taking us to court over his fall!” Yeller reveals. “Oh, how unfortunate.” Bo notes. “Yeah, unfortunate for him. Is he still in the hospital?” Yeller asks. Bo nods. “Good, it’ll make this a whole lot easier.” Yeller says, as he picks up a pillow. “Son, you can’t! You aren’t a killer!” Bo argues. Yeller puts the pillow down. “You’re right, I’m not!” Yeller realizes. Yeller pulls out his phone, and makes a call. “Who are you calling?” Bo asks. “Hello, Michael? Its Yeller, I need a favor. There’s someone in the hospital that needs to be...taken care of. Its a cat...what do you mean you don’t kill cats?!...Well to heck with you, too!” Yeller states, before hanging up. “What’s the point of having friends in the mob if they won’t kill people for you?” Yeller wonders. “Son, might I offer a suggestion?” Bo asks. “No.” Yeller answers. “Rather than attempt to silence Mr. Whiskers, why not appear in court, and attempt to plead your case?” Bo asks. “Because I’ll lose!” Yeller notes. “Well, unfortunately for you, that may be the only way you can protect yourself. You’ll need a good attorney, though. Let me call and hire you one.” Bo says. “No need, I already have one.” Yeller says. “Who?” Bo asks. Yeller turns towards Dun Dun. “Can you be our lawyer?” Yeller asks. “Can Dun Dun spend rest of money on old bald man’s credit card?” Dun Dun asks. “My WHAT?!” Bo angrily asks. “Sure.” Yeller responds. “Then Yeller and Dun Dun got themselves lawyer!” Dun Dun announces.

In the courthouse, Yeller and Dun Dun sit on their side of the courtroom, with Bo sitting right behind them. “So, what do you think our chances are?” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun think we gonna win win.” Dun Dun says. “What makes you think that?” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun have good plan, you see.” Dun Dun says. Yeller and Dun Dun turn around, and see Mr. Whiskers, who is covered in bandages, wheeled in on a gurney. Mr. Whiskers sees Yeller and Dun Dun, and begins to panic. His blood pressure starts to rise, and the machines that he is hooked up to start to beep faster. His doctor turns his head over, so he doesn’t have to look at Dun Dun and Yeller, and his blood pressure begins to fall. “Baby...” Yeller whispers. Betty Thorne enters the courtroom, and takes one look at Yeller and Dun Dun. “Oh, this is going to be easy.” Betty says. “I’ll have you know, we have a GOOD defense planned! My lawyer said so!” Yeller says. “Not good enough, honey.” Betty says. “All rise! Court is about to begin.” The bailiff announces. Everyone stands, as the judge enters the courtroom. When she takes her seat, she looks over at Yeller and Dun Dun. “Wait a minute, weren’t the two of you in here a few months ago, for stealing a bank card, I believe?” The judge asks. “No, that was someone else.” Yeller lies. “Dun Dun and friend don’t steal.” Dun Dun lies. “So, what exactly is this case about, since I was dragged away from my salmon to preside over it?” The judge asks. “Well, your honor. These two right over there, are the reason that my client is experiencing great pain and suffering, and has found himself in a full body cast.” Betty says. The judge turns, and sees Mr. Whiskers. “A cat is suing?” The judge asks. The judge pulls a giant bottle of vodka out, and pours it in a glass. “Alright, NOW I’m ready to get this show on the road. How was your client injured?” The judge asks. “Those two foul beasts on the opposite side of the courtroom built my client a staircase. However, they knew that it was faulty, yet they allowed him to climb on it, anyway. They lured this poor cat into a false sense of security, knowing full well that that staircase was not suitable for walking.” Betty says. “Are you implying that these two plotted to harm your client?” The judge asks. “Yes, your honor, that is exactly what I am implying.” Betty says. “Here is my stance on the matter, Miss. Thorne. I believe that these two built a faulty staircase, but, what I don’t believe is that they did it on purpose. I have had them in my courtroom several times, and I just don’t think they’re that clever. They’re morons! Even a plan as simple as what you are implying, I don’t think they are capable of pulling off. So, why don’t we dispense with the false claim that they intentionally set out to hurt the plaintiff, and just focus on the fact that they are still technically responsible for his action.” The judge says. “Objection, judge!” Dun Dun yells. “You object to the fact that you are responsible for this man’s accident, or that I absolved you of guilt when the other side accused you of setting this up?” The judge asks. “Dun Dun no moron! She did set that up to fall!” Dun Dun lies. Yeller pulls Dun Dun close. “What are you doing?!” He whispers. “Dun Dun no gonna let them talk about her like she idiot.” Dun Dun says. “You just threw our whole case out the window, you ARE an idiot!” Yeller yells. “No, that no true, Dun Dun still have secret weapon.” Dun Dun says. “I am curious of hearing what the defense has to say, after this surprising, yet likely untrue confession.” The judge says. Dun Dun stands up. “You worthlessness, Dun Dun has very simple reason for why she and Yeller no responsible. Proof, if you wouldn’t!” Dun Dun says. “I’d like to see that proof.” The judge says. “Dun Dun stole credit card from old bald man, and she will give you other half of $1000 that Yeller gave Dun Dun if you make this all go away.” Dun Dun states. “Are you offering to bribe a judge?! Are you stupid?!” The judge asks. “Dun Dun no stupid!” Dun Dun yells. “Well you just confessed in front of a bunch of people that you stole someone’s credit card, and you tried to bribe a judge in front of a bunch of people, so I’d say you are pretty stupid! Now sit down, I don’t want to hear from you for a while!” The judge orders. Dun Dun reluctantly sits down. “Lets move onto witnesses. Mr. Whiskers, I understand that you have witnesses to collaborate your story.” The judge says. “He does, your honor.” Betty says. “What?! No one was there when that staircase collapsed besides me and Dun Dun!” Yeller protests. “So you are admitting that there was a staircase!” The judge notes. “Yes, yes I am. That doesn’t mean I built it.” Yeller notes. “The plaintiff can call their first witness, now.” The judge says. “The man I am about to call upon is a high ranking member of the Littlebridge Police Department, appropriately named Cop.” Betty says. Cop enters the courtroom, and grins at Dun Dun and Yeller as he walks by them. “There goes any chance we had at winning.” Yeller says. Cop sits on the witness stand. “What is your name, sir?” Betty asks. “Uh...Cop.” Cop says. “Do you have a last name, Cop?” Betty asks. “Just Cop.” Cop responds. “Okay, just Cop. Tell me what you saw, the day this horrible tragedy took place.” Betty says. “I saw Yeller and Dun Dun plotting about sabotaging the staircase for Mr. Whiskers. Then, I saw him tumble down them!” Cop says. “That’s all I needed to hear. Thank you, Mr. Cop. You may step down.” Betty says. “Not so fast!” Dun Dun yells, as she stands up. “Dun Dun no get to question Cop yet.” Dun Dun says. Dun Dun walks over to Cop. “What you name?” Dun Dun asks. “I just told you and the entire court!” Cop yells. “I just told you and the entire court, were you actually at Yeller house the day Misters of the Whiskers fell down and go boom?” Dun Dun asks. “I said I was!” Cop notes. “Why no Dun Dun see you there?” Dun Dun asks. “How would you know if I was there, if you weren’t already there, building a faulty staircase for Mr. Whiskers?” Cop asks. “Moving on. Dun Dun have one more question for Cop.” Dun Dun says. “What?” Cop asks. “Do Cop take bribes?” Dun Dun asks. “Stop trying to bribe people in my courtroom!” The judge yells. Dun Dun slaps Cop in the arm, before returning to her seat. “You may step down, Mr. Cop.” The judge tells him. Cop gets down, sticks his tongue out at Yeller and Dun Dun, before leaving.
“Does the defense have any witnesses?” The judge asks. “Uh...yes, yes we do. Dad, get up there!” Yeller says. “Me?!” Bo asks. “We need the help!” Yeller says. Bo sighs, and heads for the witness stand. Dun Dun walks over to Bo. “What your name?” Dun Dun asks. “Old bald...Bo, I meant Bo.” Bo responds. “What you know about day Mister of Whiskers die?” Dun Dun asks. “He didn’t bloody die.” Bo notes. “Answer question!” Dun Dun yells. “You want to know what I know? I know that I warned my son against building that staircase, especially with you! I warned him that there were certain risks involved, and now look at him, being sued for money even Ronald Grump doesn’t have! Yes, that’s right, my son and Dun Dun WERE involved in the construction of the staircase, they are to blame for Mr. Whiskers’ accident!” Bo yells. “No we not! YOU LYING!” Dun Dun yells, as she jumps over the stand, and begins strangling Bo! It takes four people to pull a furious Dun Dun off of Bo, who is left gasping for air. “Okay, I think this case’s verdict has become quite clear.” The judge says. “We won!” Yeller beams. “No you didn’t. In fact, I’m adding on an extra zillion just because you annoyed me, you and your entire clan! We are finished here, GOODBYE!” The judge says. Mr. Whiskers jumps out of bed, and removes all of his casts. He then starts to dance around the courtroom, while laughing at Yeller.

Yeller, Dun Dun, and Bo are back at the Yeller house. “Dun Dun no paying that.” Dun Dun says. “You were included in the lawsuit, you have to!” Yeller says. Someone knocks on the door. “That the IRS coming after us already?” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun gonna tell them same thing she tell Yeller, she no paying Misters of the Whiskers, just like she no pay TAXES!” Dun Dun yells. Bo opens the door to Mr. Whiskers. “Oh, hello! Come in!” Bo says. Mr. Whiskers comes in, and waves at Dun Dun and Yeller. “What is HE doing here?” Yeller asks. “He lives here, son.” Bo says. “Because of that rat, I have to pay more money than the richest person on the planet will make in their entire life!” Yeller says. “Perhaps next time, you should consider building a better staircase.” Bo says. “Look on bright side, Yeller. At least day can no get worse!” Dun Dun notes. Cop breaks down the door, and pulls out his gun. “FREEZE!” Cop yells. “What now?!” Yeller angrily asks. “I heard that the two of you stole a credit card, and I’m bringing you both in.” Cop announces. “That okay, Dun Dun just break out. See? She say day can no get worse!” Dun Dun says. Bo is looking out the window. “Um...Dun Dun? Isn’t that that horrid shack you call a house?” Bo asks. Dun Dun rushes to the window, and sees the IRS towing away House of Dun! “House of Dun, no!” Dun Dun yells. Dun Dun kicks Cop in the shin, and runs out the door! “Hey, get back here!” Cop yells. Dun Dun can be seen chasing down the road after House of Dun, while Cop is chasing after her.