S4 Episode 03: Pest of Both Worlds

*Yeller is sitting on the sofa, watching television. Dun Dun walks up behind him. “Hey Yeller.” Dun Dun says. Yeller ignores her. Dun Dun taps Yeller on his shoulder. Yeller continues to ignore her. Dun Dun then picks up the TV remote, and turns off the TV. “Hey! What was that for?” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun got new pet!” Dun Dun announces. “What, did you adopt Leafy?” Yeller asks. Dun Dun laughs. “No, Yeller! We both know crazy leaf girl would never sell leaf!” Dun Dun says. Dun Dun holds up a ziplock bag, with a tarantula inside of it! Yeller lets out a surprised scream. “Please tell me that is just a plushy!” Yeller says. The tarantula can then be seen moving. “Have you lost your mind?!” Yeller asks. “What, you hate that Dun Dun make independent choice of buying tarantula for herself?” Dun Dun asks. “No, you idiot! I don’t care that you bought a tarantula! Ya could’ve bought a lion and I wouldn’t care. My problem is that it is in my house, in a ziplock bag! Where is its cage?!” Yeller asks. “Are you mad?! Have you SEEN prices on cages these days? Why would Dun Dun use cage when she have perfectly good plastic bag?!” Dun Dun asks. Yeller blankly stares at Dun Dun. “Dun Dun smart?” Dun Dun asks. “GET OUT!” Yeller yells. Dun Dun then goes running out, tarantula in tow. A moment later, Bo comes downstairs. “Was that Dun Dun I just heard?” Bo asks. “Unfortunately.” Yeller says. “Well, I am thankful to see that she is gone.” Bo says. Yeller picks up the remote, and turns the TV back on. “Son, before you return to your trance, do you think perhaps you could do me a small favor?” Bo asks. “Of course, the ONE second I sit down to have some me time, everyone in the world wants to bother me.” Yeller says. “Dear boy, your behind is planted on that sofa from the moment you wake up in the morning to the moment you retire for the evening.” Bo notes. “And every time, you or someone else wants something!” Yeller says. “Moving on. I need a few things at the grocery store.” Bo says. “Uh huh. Why cant you go get them?” Yeller asks. “Golf tournament.” Bo states. Bo hands Yeller a small piece of paper. “I wrote you a list of things that I will need you to get. I hope it won’t be too much trouble.” Bo says. “It will be.” Yeller says. “Lovely! Well, I must be off! Let me know when you have returned!” Bo says. “Whatever you say.” Yeller says. Bo then exits the house. Once Bo is gone, Yeller returns to watching TV.

*At House of Dun, Leafy Fan is putting up a painting of a leaf on the wall. Dun Dun swings open the door, and hits Leafy Fan with it! “Dun Dun has returned!” Dun Dun announces. Dun Dun looks around. “Leafy Fan?” Dun Dun calls out. Leafy Fan can be heard groaning in pain. Dun Dun closes the door, and finds Leafy Fan on the floor. “Leafy Fan! Why you napping behind door?” Dun Dun asks. Leafy Fan groans in response. “Never mind! Dun Dun have big news! She adopt new pet!” Dun Dun announces, as she pulls out the ziplock bag with the tarantula in it. “Why did you adopt a tarantula?!” Leafy Fan asks. “Most humans adopt dog or cat or gold fish, but Dun Dun no wanna be main stream. She her own lady, darn it! So, Dun Dun make intelligent move of buying tarantula.” Dun Dun says. “Did...you do any research on tarantulas before you bought one?” Leafy Fan asks. “Leafy Fan, you kill Dun Dun! Why would she need to research how to take care of tarantula? It giant spider! What so hard? Here, Dun Dun show you!” Dun Dun says. Dun Dun unzips the bag, and lets the tarantula out onto the floor! “You! Sit!” Dun Dun orders the tarantula. The tarantula ignores Dun Dun, and runs out the door. “Uh oh.” Dun Dun says.

*Yeller is at the grocery store, waiting in line. “Yeller, stop watching TV. Yeller, go to the grocery store. Yeller, stop throwing rocks at people’s cars.” Yeller mimics Bo. Yeller notices that the woman in front of him has a carriage full of groceries, and is slowly putting them on the counter. “Excuse me!” Yeller angrily says. The woman turns around. “Yes?” The woman asks. “What are you doing?!” Yeller asks. “Well, I’m doing what most people do in the 21st century, I’m buying my groceries rather than killing them.” The woman says. “Cant you move any faster?!” Yeller angrily asks. “Can your mouth RUN any faster?” The annoyed woman asks. “If you don’t pick up the pace, you’re gonna find out!” Yeller yells. “Look, sir, you are at the grocery store, a place where the customers are slow, and the employees are even slower. If you were expecting to be in and out of here, that isn’t my fault.” The woman says. “Uh...I’m sorry for being rude. How about we come to a compromise? I go in front of you! I only have a few things! I won’t be long!” Yeller says. “Hm, let me think about that...choke on an onion and DIE, baldy!” The woman tells him, as she continues to move slowly. “Well, I have half a mind to have 20 pizzas sent to your house!” Yeller states. “You don’t even know my address!” The woman points out. “Well if I did, I’d be sending 30 just because of that sass!” Yeller says. “You know, my arms are starting to hurt. Maybe I’m putting my groceries on their too fast! I should slow down!” The woman says. “No!” Yeller yells. “Yes!” The woman yells back.

Two Hours Later…

*The employee working at the register scans the woman’s last item, as an impatient Yeller breathes a sigh of relief. “That will be $140.32.” The employee says. “Better pay up.” Yeller tells the woman. “Oh, I nearly forgot! I have some coupons that I wanted to use! Let me dig through my purse and see if I can find them!” The woman says, while smiling at Yeller. “Come on!” Yeller yells. “Sir, calm down or you’ll have to leave!” The employee tells Yeller.

Another Hour Later…

*The woman pulls the coupons out of her purse. “There we are! You know, my purse is such a mess, I really need to clean it out sometime!” The woman says. “Let me just scan them.” The employee says. The employee scans the coupons. “That’ll be $138.59.” The employee says. “You spent over an hour digging out coupons so that you could save a lousy two dollars?!” Yeller asks. “One dollar and seventy three cents.” The woman corrects him. The woman then turns towards the employee. “By the way, I’d like to split that bill into three. I have a credit card, a gift card, and cash that I would like to use.” The woman says. Yeller begins slamming his head into the carriage.

Next Day

*Bo is sitting on the sofa, when the doorbell rings. Bo opens the door, and finds Dun Dun standing there. “My son isn’t awake yet, come back later.” Bo says. “I no here to see Yeller.” Dun Dun says. “Then why exactly are you here?” Bo asks. “Dun Dun have warrant to search property.” Dun Dun reveals. “A warrant? I don’t suppose you have this “warrant” on you, do you?” Bo asks. Dun Dun pulls out a piece of cardboard, with the word “warrant” written on it, in crayon. Bo sighs. “May I ask why you need to search the house?” Bo asks. “Dun Dun pet loose.” Dun Dun reveals. “So, what? You believe that your dog or cat somehow wandered into my house?” Bo asks. “Does Dun Dun look like dog or cat person? She bought tarantula!” Dun Dun says. “You did WHAT? And its LOOSE? HOW THE DEVIL DID THAT HAPPEN?” Bo asks. “Dun Dun let it out to play.” Dun Dun reveals. “Are you aware that tarantulas are very venomous creatures?” Bo asks. “Lady at pet store mention that, but they never tell truth about animals.” Dun Dun says. “When did you lose it?” Bo asks. “Yesterday.” Dun Dun reveals. “And you are just NOW looking for it?!” A frantic Bo asks. “Dun Dun was hungry yesterday! You expect her to hunt tarantula on empty stomach?!” Dun Dun asks. “I expect you to at least have the smarts to not buy a tarantula AT ALL!” Bo yells. “STOP YELLING AT DUN DUN!” Dun Dun screams. “Please...get out of my home!” Bo says. “But what about tarantula?” Dun Dun asks. “I think that if the tarantula were in this house, I would most certainly know about it by now.” Bo says. Mr. Whiskers can be heard hissing. The hissing stops, and Mr. Whiskers falls down the stairs, unconscious! A moment later, the tarantula comes down the stairs, jumps over an unconscious Mr. Whiskers, and walks out the door. “You no getting away from Dun Dun!” Dun Dun yells, before running out the door after it. Bo sighs, and returns to the couch. Yeller comes down the stairs, and steps over an unconscious Mr. Whiskers. “Taking a nap, huh, Mr. Whiskers? Good boy.” Yeller tells Mr. Whiskers, while he is twitching. “Ah, good morning son!” Bo says. “Morning.” Yeller says. “You came in rather late last night. Where were you?” Bo wonders. “At the grocery store, where you told me to go. I got stuck behind this HORRIBLE woman. She was slow, you had coupons, she paid in five hundred different ways, it was awful!” An emotionally scarred Yeller says. “Oh, one of THOSE people, eh? I certainly understand your frustrations.” Bo says. “I’m just happy that I never have to see that evil woman again.” Yeller says. The doorbell rings. “Who’s that?” Yeller asks. “I saw a moving truck in front of Ray and Laura’s old house, perhaps it is our new neighbor coming to say hello.” Bo says. Bo answers the door, and the person at the door is revealed to be the woman from the grocery store! “Hello! Is this the Yeller household?” The woman asks. “This is. I presume you are the woman moving in next door.” Bo notes. “Yes. My name is Tabitha, you have a lovely home.” Tabitha says. Yeller recognizes the voice, and looks towards the doorway. “You!” They both say to each other. “I see you’ve already met my son.” Bo says. “You’re the slow ignorant lady from the grocery store!” Yeller says. “And you are the bald, ugly impatient man from the grocery store!” Tabitha recalls. “Lovely! The two of you are already friends!” Bo says. “You moved in next door?!” Yeller asks. “I did! No wonder I got the house for so cheap, considering its located right next to you! Not to mention located down the street from a radio active junk yard.” Tabitha notes. “Oh, that’s not a radio active junk yard, that’s just Dun Dun’s house.” Yeller says. “A word to the wise, don’t go near that property without a hazmat suit on. Oh, what am I saying? Don’t go near the property at all.” Bo corrects himself. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Bo, even though your son is a goblin, I look forward to seeing you again, soon.” Tabitha says. “Likewise!” Bo says. Tabitha glares at Yeller. “Yeller.” She coldly says, before walking out. Bo closes the door. “She seems nice.” Bo notes. “She’s the devil! I’d rather have Cop as a next door neighbor!” Yeller says. “Oh son, no need to be so dramatic. I’m sure that she isn’t as terrible as you make her out to be.” Bo says. “You’re right, she’s a lot WORSE! I need to get rid of her somehow.” Yeller says.

*At Tabitha’s house, she opens up a box, as her doorbell rings. “Just a minute!” Tabitha yells. The person then starts banging on her door. “I SAID JUST A MINUTE!” Tabitha screams. Tabitha opens the door to Dun Dun. “WHAT?!” An angry Tabitha asks. “Dun Dun don’t wanna hear any lip from you, lady! She have a warrant!” Dun Dun says. “You don’t look like a police officer.” Tabitha notes. “Thank you. Now let Dun Dun in.” Dun Dun demands. “And why would I do that?” Tabitha asks. “Dun Dun lose tarantula and it hiding somewhere in neighborhood.” Dun Dun says. “So you think it is hiding in MY house? What kind of oblivious buffoon do you think I am where I wouldn’t notice a HUGE spider crawling around on my floor?” Tabitha asks. The tarantula jumps out of one of Tabitha’s boxes, and runs out the door. “Little buddy! Wait for Dun Dun!” Dun Dun yells, before running after it. Tabitha shrugs off Dun Dun’s visit, and goes to return to unpacking. All of a sudden, a loud noise can be heard outside. Tabitha looks out the window, and sees Yeller mowing the lawn. Tabitha opens the window. “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Tabitha yells to him. “WHAT?!” Yeller asks. “CANT YOU BE ANY QUIETER?!” Tabitha yells. “WHAT?!” Yeller asks again. “Ugh! Unfreakingbelievable!” Tabitha yells, before closing the window. As Yeller continues to mow the lawn, Bo comes outside. “Son...you’re...you’re MOWING THE LAWN!” Bo says. “Yeah? So?” Yeller asks. Bo begins to get choked up. “I’m just...this makes me so...happy! I have longed for this day for years!” Bo confesses. Yeller turns the lawn mower off. “Calm down, Dad. I was only mowing the lawn to annoy the new neighbor, but now, she’s just ignoring it! I’m gonna have to come up with a new plan.” Yeller says, as he walks away. “Uh, son! You forgot to mow most of the lawn!” Bo calls out, after Yeller. Dun Dun walks over to Bo. “I have a warrant.” Dun Dun says. Bo groans, and walks away.

*Tabitha is still unpacking, when the doorbell rings. “If you have a warrant, GO AWAY!” Tabitha yells. The doorbell rings again. Tabitha opens the door, and doesn’t see anyone. “Darn kids.” Tabitha says. Tabitha walks outside, and a bucket of water hung over her doorway flips over and falls on her! “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” An angry Tabitha asks. Yeller comes out of hiding. “Hey Tabitha, what happened?” Yeller asks. “YOU did this!” Tabitha yells, while pointing at Yeller. “How dare you accuse me of such a mean and spiteful act. Do I strike you as the kind of person to set up a prank like this?” Yeller asks. “Yes!” Tabitha says. “Then you would be right.” Yeller says. Yeller begins to laugh in her face. “Laugh all you want, cretin! But no matter how hard you try, I am not going anywhere!” Tabitha says. “Oh, I guess we’ll just have to see about that, won’t we? One whole day in this neighborhood, and you’ll be running for the hills, tail in between your legs, screaming your head off. I know I’ve thought about doing it a few times.” Yeller notes. Tabitha slams the door shut. “Hm, lets see? What do I do next?” Yeller wonders. Dun Dun walks up to Yeller, and shows him a picture of a tarantula. “Have you seen this man?” Dun Dun asks. “Is that your tarantula?” Yeller asks. “No, I got picture off google. He no stick around long enough for Dun Dun to take picture of him.” Dun Dun says. “No, I haven’t seen him.” Yeller says. Dun Dun’s eyes widen. “Oh! There he is! Dun Dun see him across street!” Dun Dun yells. Dun Dun goes running off. A moment later, brakes screeching can be heard, and then a loud crash. “WATCH WHERE YOU GOING, WACK JOB!” Dun Dun can be heard yelling. “Here, tarantula! Wait! Come back!” Dun Dun can be heard saying.

*Yeller is leaning up against his house, whistling. He then pulls a rock out from behind his back, and tosses it at Tabitha’s window! Her window can be heard smashing. “Whoops.” Yeller says. Tabitha’s front door can be heard slamming shut. “Uh oh.” Yeller says. Tabitha enters Yeller’s yard, holding the rock. “WHAT is this?” Tabitha asks. “Well, I’m not really a nature freak, but I do believe that’s a rock.” Yeller says. “I know it is a rock, you idiot! What I want to know is how it ended up getting chucked through my living room window!” Tabitha says. Yeller shrugs. “Don’t know.” Yeller lies. “Well, just so you know, I’ve taken the measures of contacting the proper authorities.” Tabitha says. “You think I’m afraid of some doughnut vacuum? I spit on the police!” Yeller says. Someone taps on Yeller’s shoulder. Yeller turns around, and sees Cop. “Cop, hey! Old buddy old pal! Long time no see!” Yeller says. Cop notices the hole in Tabitha’s window. “What did you do now?” Cop asks. “Funny story. I was just standing here, minding my own business, when Dun Dun threw a rock at that poor woman’s window!” Yeller says. “He’s lying officer! He did it!” Tabitha says. “Did you see me do it with your own two eyes?” Yeller asks. “Well, no. I was still unpacking.” Tabitha says. “Then you don’t have any proof!” Yeller says. “Proof smoof, you’re coming with me anyway.” Cop says. “That’s right! Arrest him! Toss him in jail! Put him in front of a firing squad!” Tabitha cheers. Cop begins to lead Yeller away, but stops in his tracks when he sees Dun Dun’s tarantula standing in front of him! Dun Dun arrives as well. “Ah ha! Dun Dun finally found you!” Dun Dun says. “Is this thing yours?” Cop asks. “Dun Dun don’t know. Is having tarantula crime?” Dun Dun asks. “I don’t know. Do I look like I know the law?” Cop asks. “Oh, in this case, yes, tarantula is Dun Dun’s.” Dun Dun says. The tarantula begins to hiss. “He sounds kind of mad.” Tabitha notes. “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’ve got everything under control.” Cop says. Cop takes out his nightstick, and swings it at the tarantula, hoping to squash it. Cop misses, and the nightstick lands right next to the tarantula. The tarantula jumps onto the nightstick, and climbs up it, and onto Cop’s arm! Cop looks the tarantula dead in the eyes, while it sits on his arm. “What are you gonna do? Kill me?” Cop asks. The tarantula bites Cop, and Cop immediately drops to the ground, unconscious! The tarantula jumps off of him, and faces Yeller, Dun Dun, and Tabitha. “Maybe we should call pest control!” Tabitha suggests. “What is the matter with you? Just because we have a deadly tarantula running around the neighborhood, you think we should call someone? No! They might want something in return, like money!” Yeller says. “Dun Dun no paying them for job she can do herself!” Dun Dun says. “I’m not paying them, either!” Yeller says. “Fine, then I’ll pay them!” Tabitha says. “You will NOT! We can catch the tarantula ourselves.” Yeller says. “You are the biggest idiot I’ve ever met, you know. You and the simple minded company you keep! If you actually believe that you are going to capture that tarantula on your own, than you are even dumber than the moron who let the tarantula loose in the first place.” Tabitha says. “We’ll see who the REAL moron is! Dun Dun, did you come prepared this time?” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun SURE did!” Dun Dun says, as she pulls out a butterfly net! “A butterfly net? You are going to catch a tarantula with a butterfly net?” Tabitha asks. “Dun Dun has done this before, lady. One time, she catch tarantula with butterfly net in Animal Crossing, so don’t tell her it no possible!” Dun Dun yells. Dun Dun begins chasing the tarantula around in circles with the butterfly net. “This is ridiculous!” Tabitha says. “Don’t worry, we’ve got the best person on the job.” Yeller says. “The best person? She has about as much of a chance catching that tarantula as the coyote has at catching the road runner!” Tabitha says. Dun Dun continues to run around Yeller and Tabitha in a circle, chasing the tarantula. “Come back here!” Dun Dun yells. The tarantula then runs off, towards Tabitha’s house! “You keep that-that THING away from my house!” Tabitha yells. Dun Dun continues in pursuit of the tarantula, and it wanders into the bucket that Yeller had set up over Tabitha’s door earlier. Dun Dun then flips the bucket over, and captures the tarantula! “Ah ha! Dun Dun win!” Dun Dun announces. Tabitha’s jaw drops, as Yeller does a happy dance, and then laughs in her face at her being wrong.

Next Day

*Dun Dun and Yeller are sitting on the couch. “Dun Dun glad that she finally catch tarantula.” Dun Dun says. “Where is it now?” Yeller asks. “Animal Control come and take him away! They claim Dun Dun not fit to own goldfish, let alone tarantula! Can you believe nerve?!” Dun Dun angrily asks. “Actually, I can.” Yeller says. They then hear a loud noise coming from outside. “What in the Dun Dun is that?” Dun Dun asks. Yeller walks over to his window, and sees Tabitha outside, mowing the lawn. Yeller opens the window. “Hey! Shut up! I’m trying to watch TV!” Yeller asks. “What’s that? Mow louder?! Okay! Only if you insist!” Tabitha yells back, as she cranks the lawn mower up, higher. Yeller looks down at his yard. “Do something!” Yeller tells Cop, who is still unconscious in the yard. Cop doesn’t respond. “Is Cop still there?” Dun Dun asks. “Yeah. He hasn’t moved since he was bitten by the tarantula and fell into that coma.” Yeller says. “Should we call doctor?” Dun Dun asks. “Eh, I’m sure all he needs to do is just sleep it off.” Yeller says, as he closes the window.