S4 Episode 02: Deranged Dentist

*Leafy Fan is sitting on the floor, next to leafy. “What do you want for dinner tonight, leafy? Italian? Chinese?” Leafy Fan asks. Leafy doesn’t respond. “You’re gonna let me pick? Aw! You’re so sweet!” Leafy Fan says. Dun Dun walks over to them. “What are you?! Idiot?! That a leaf! The leaf no care what you have for dinner! The leaf no care! THE LEAF NO HAVE FEELINGS!” Dun Dun yells. “How could you say such a thing right in front of Leafy?” An offended Leafy Fan asks. Leafy Fan begins to cradle Leafy in her arms. “Don’t worry, Leafy, I know that mean Dun Dun is lying! You DO have feelings!” Leafy Fan says. Someone begins banging at the door, but Dun Dun ignores it. “Aren’t you going to get that?” Leafy Fan asks. “Dun Dun no have friends, which mean it either police or IRS. Dun Dun no answer door to either of them.” Dun Dun says. The person knocks again, this time louder! “DUN DUN, I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! OPEN THE DOOR!” Yeller screams from the other side. “I think that might be Yeller!” Leafy Fan says. “Don’t be fooled! It complex IRS voice changer! They use it to trick victims into opening the door, and then when they in, they tackle you to floor, hold you down, and steal your wallet!” Dun Dun says. “You do that, too!” Leafy Fan says. Yeller kicks the door in. “How you strong enough to kick door open?” Dun Dun asks. “Its made out of cheep cardboard. Even Cop would be able to kick it open.” Yeller says. “What you want? Dun Dun no have much time, she and the leaf have dinner plans.” Dun Dun says. “Oh, NOW Leafy is alive!” Leafy Fan says. “I couldn’t help but notice that I haven’t been getting my mail for a while.” Yeller says. “Have you checked mailbox?” Dun Dun asks. “Yes! There is no mail, there! Which leads me to suspect that someone else is stealing it, probably someone else in the neighborhood. So, tell me, Dun Dun, who in this neighborhood has a reputation for stealing stuff?” Yeller asks. “You know baby at house on corner of street? I saw him shoplift lollypop at store, once.” Dun Dun says. “The baby isn’t stealing my mail, YOU are!” Yeller says. Dun Dun gasps. “How DARE you force your way into Dun Dun’s home, and then accuse her of stealing!” Dun Dun says. Yeller notices a large pile of mail on the floor. “That mail mine!” Dun Dun says. “I thought you said you had yourself declared legally dead so that people wouldn’t send you mail anymore.” Leafy Fan notes. Yeller walks over to the large pile, and begins looking through it. “Dun Dun, some of this stuff is from YEARS ago! Like this letter right here...Dear Alexander Yeller, you have won our monthly sweeps stakes, the prize being a check for one million dollars! Please contact us before April 2015 to claim your prize.” Yeller reads. Yeller throws the letter down. “You never thought to give this to me?” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun didn’t read letters, that would be invasion of privacy.” Dun Dun notes. “Oh look, a letter from last month, saying the mortgage was overdue! I guess the big red letters saying “IMPORTANT” didn’t indicate that I might need this, huh?” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun figure that you and old bald man no want bills.” Dun Dun says. “Yeah, who needs bills when we can live in a cardboard box?!” An upset Yeller sarcastically asks. Yeller tosses the letter aside, and begins going through the pile again. “Oh, what’s this? A reminder for the dentist?” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun thought you hated dentist, so she-” Before Dun Dun can finish, Yeller interrupts her. “SHUT UP!” Yeller orders, as he looks at the reminder. “The appointment is tomorrow!” Yeller says. “Oh. That stinks.” Leafy Fan says. “I didn’t even know I had this appointment! No way am I going their tomorrow!” Yeller says. “Call and cancel.” Leafy Fan suggests. “Its not that easy. They expect you to call 48 hours in advance if you cant make it.” Yeller notes. “Who cares?! What they gonna do, kill you?” Dun Dun asks. “I’m gonna have to cancel anyway, no way am I going to this appointment.” Yeller says. Yeller pulls out his phone, and dials the number on the reminder. “Glowing Teeth Dental, this is Doctor Frank, how can I help you?” Doctor Frank asks. “Alexander Yeller, here. Hi Frank, listen, I have an appointment that I won’t be able to make.” Yeller says. “Let me look it up here in my computer...oh dear, it says here that your appointment is tomorrow, Mr. Yeller.” Frank says. “I know that.” Yeller says. “I’m afraid that you have to cancel 48 hours in advance.” Frank says. “Uh huh.” Yeller responds. “You’re canceling 14 hours, 28 minutes, and 52 seconds in advance.” Frank says. “I...didn’t know the exact amount of time, but I know that it is less than 48 hours until my appointment.” Yeller says. “I’m afraid canceling isn’t an option.” Frank tells him. “Well, I mean, I could always just NOT show up.” Yeller notes. “That wouldn’t be very nice! Oh come on, Mr. Yeller, why would you want to miss this appointment? Going to the dentist is FUN!” Frank says. “Gee, I don’t know, Frank, maybe its because I just DON’T WANT TO GO.” Yeller says. “Please reconsider. I would absolutely HATE it if you didn’t show up tomorrow…” Frank says. “I’m sure there are other patients, Frank. Good bye.” Yeller says, before hanging up. “Well?” Leafy Fan asks. “I think that went pretty well.” Yeller says.

Next Day…

*Yeller is sitting on the couch, next to Dun Dun, watching TV. “I always hated this show. Why would I care if some loser ever catches them all? I hope he doesn’t catch them all! I hope he trips over the yellow mouse of his and tumbles right over a cliff! Real star of this show is that Oak guy, anyway.” Yeller says, as Dun Dun nods in agreement. All of a sudden, the cable goes out. “MY BABY!” Yeller yells. “What going on?!” A frantic Dun Dun asks. Yeller runs over to the TV. “Please, speak to me! Tell me you’re okay!” Yeller says. “Yeller, look!” Dun Dun yells, while looking out the window. Yeller runs over to the window, and sees the satellite dish lying in his front yard, smashed to pieces! “Someone kill your TV!” Dun Dun yells. “Who would do such a thing?!” Yeller asks. Cop walks in from the kitchen, eating a sandwich, and Yeller glares at him. “What?” Cop asks. “First of all, what are you doing in my house?!” Yeller asks. “Your Dad let me in. I needed to come and talk to you about a parking ticket.” Cop says. “I don’t have any parking tickets!” Yeller argues. Cop hands him a ticket. “You do now! Parking in front of a fire hydrant is a no no. Someone could be killed because of your carelessness!” Cop notes. Yeller and Dun Dun continue to glare at Cop. “What now?” Cop asks. “You killed television!” Dun Dun yells. “I thought Netflix and Hulu did that.” Cop says. “She means OUR television. Someone smashed our satellite dish, and now we have no TV!” Yeller reveals. “Do you have evidence that it was smashed?” Cop asks. “Why don’t you look out the window and see the evidence for yourself, Mr. Police Officer?” Yeller asks. Cop peers out the window, and sees the smashed dish. “Oh, wow, that’s a lot of damage.” Cop says. “No kidding! I want the entire Littlebridge police force on this case! I want the criminal responsible for this heinous crime caught, and prosecuted to the full extent of the law!” Yeller says. “That’s definitely some serious vandalism right there, and I’m sure that dish cost a lot of money...well, I better get going then.” Cop says. “Aren’t you going to investigate?!” Yeller asks. “Cant, my shift is over.” Cop says. “Well then call one of your pals!” Yeller says. “Like I said, my shift is over. That means no more police work. For what its worth, I hope you find whoever smashed your dish.” Cop says. “No you don’t!” Yeller says. “You’re right, I don’t. Bye bye!” Cop says, before walking out. “You make one little parking mistake, the cops are all over you. Your satellite dish gets smashed and the world starts falling apart, no cops around!” Yeller complains. “If only there was sign of who break dish!” Dun Dun says. A brick flies through the window, with a note attached to it. Dun Dun stares at it for a moment. “If only there was a clue!” Dun Dun says. Yeller rolls his eyes, and picks up the brick. He then opens the note, which has words written in blood. “It blood!” Dun Dun gasps. Yeller sniffs it. “Its ketchup.” Yeller reveals. “This is only the beginning of ur sufering, things r about to get much wors 4 u.” Yeller reads. Yeller looks up at Dun Dun. “Not only is our culprit a maniac, but they don’t know how to spell, either! Where were you when the dish got broken?” Yeller asks. “Yeller, Dun Dun would NEVER do anything to break TV! She love TV!” Dun Dun notes. “Eh, good point. Well, I’m out of ideas.” Yeller says. Yeller turns the note around. “Wait a minute, on the back here...our culprit gave themselves away! This is Glowing Teeth Dental stationary!” Yeller reveals! Dun Dun gasps. “Who dat?” Dun Dun asks. Yeller turns around, and finds Doctor Frank standing behind him! “I heard you talking about me...” Frank says. “Doctor Frank! Hey buddy! Nice to see you! How’s business?” Yeller asks. “Slow…I don’t get much patients...” Frank says. “No? That’s a shame. I cant imagine why a bright, charismatic dentist like yourself wouldn’t get any patients.” A nervous Yeller says. “He creepy, that why he no get patients.” Dun Dun says. “I had a patient that was supposed to come in today...but he called and canceled 14 hours, 28 minutes, and 52 seconds before his appointment, when he was supposed to call 48 hours in advance...what was that patient’s name again? Ah yes, it was Alexander...Yeller!” Frank says, as he pulls out a butcher knife! “Uh oh spaghetti-oh.” Dun Dun says. “What...what are you gonna do with that knife, Frank?” Yeller asks. “I looked at my record...and you need oral surgery.” Frank says. “I don’t remember that ever being mentioned, and besides, last I checked, they don’t use butcher knives in surgery.” Yeller says. “So, can Dun Dun leave? Or does she need surgery too?” Dun Dun asks. “Everyone needs oral surgery...its an important part of life...” Frank says. “Dun Dun told you you should’ve kept Dental appointment.” Dun Dun tells Yeller. “No you didn’t! Okay, look, Frank, we are both grown up, sane...ish, adults. Cant we talk about this?” Yeller asks. “I wanted to talk...but you decided to cancel your appointment instead.” Frank says. “Did I cancel? That’s funny, I don’t remember canceling. Maybe it was my brother Dan who called! He sounds a lot like me, you know!” Yeller says. “Dan have French accent.” Dun Dun notes. Yeller looks at Dun Dun. “Oh yeah, he does, doesn’t he? Thank you so much, Dun Dun!” Yeller angrily says. Frank begins walking towards Yeller and Dun Dun, holding up the butcher knife. Yeller and Dun Dun back up. “All Dun Dun wanted to do was watch TV!” Dun Dun cries. Dun Dun looks at Yeller. “She blame YOU.” Dun Dun angrily says. “Don’t worry...it’ll be painful, but quick...and your teeth will be donated to my other patients, just like the ones who came before you...” Frank says. “Ones that came before us...are you like, a serial killer, or something?” Yeller asks. “That’s what my psychiatrist called me...I disagreed with him, so I killed him...But man did his teeth make nice additions to my collection.” Frank says. Yeller does a nervous laugh. “Lovely.” A scared Yeller says. “Shhh...don’t be afraid…it’ll ALL be over, soon.” Frank says. “Before you kill Dun Dun, can she make a suggestion?” Dun Dun asks. “What is it?” Frank asks. “Get a haircut! You look hideous with that long hair! How do you expect victims to take you serious when you look like homeless bum?” Dun Dun asks. Frank is left speechless by Dun Dun’s insult. “Oooh, Dun Dun burn you. Oh no she didn’t. Oh YES...SHE...DID!” Dun Dun says. Frank begins to scream, and run at Dun Dun with the knife. Yeller trips Frank, and Frank flies up into the air! Frank hits his head on the end table on his way down, and knocks himself out. “You killed my TV you monster!” Yeller yells, before kicking an unconscious Frank. “Hurting people who cant fight back fun!” Dun Dun says.

Later that day…

*”So someone smashed Yeller’s satellite dish, threw a brick through his window, and then tried to kill you two?” Leafy Fan asks. “That right.” Dun Dun says. Leafy Fan turns towards Leafy. “Did you hear this insanity, Leafy? And people call ME crazy!” Leafy Fan says. “It no crazy, it the truth!” Dun Dun yells. “Yeah, sure it is. Now if you’ll excuse me, Leafy and I are going out to dinner. We are having seafood tonight. Isn’t that right, Leafy?” Leafy Fan asks. Leafy doesn’t respond. “Bye bye, Dun Dun!” Leafy Fan says, before walking out.

*In a padded cell somewhere, Frank is lying on the floor, hugging a tooth stuffed animal. “That Yeller and Dun Dun are cavities! They are evil! EVIL! But...don’t worry, they’ll get theirs, won’t they, Toothy? Haha...haha...HAHA….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Frank begins to maniacally laugh.