Episode 11: Swan Dive

Sam is standing on the dock of the island. “Previously on Total Yeller Mania Castaways! The episode kicked off with Andy being voted out of the game. Once he was finally gone...I mean, once he got eliminated, we moved on to the next challenge...a boat race! Each of the six remaining contestants had to build a boat, which they were able to modify to their hearts content. Once the boats were finished, the contestants set off for the race of a lifetime. There was a lot of chaos going on, including real bullets flying through the air! But, after a long, suspenseful race, Claire ended up passing the finish line first and winning immunity. With Claire winning the challenge, that leaves Grandma, Bo, Yeller, Dun Dun, and Lauren all on the chopping block. Which one won’t be making it into the final five? Find out in an all new episode of Total...Yeller...Mania...Castaways!” Sam says.

Yeller, Dun Dun, Lauren, Claire, Grandma, and Bo are all sitting around the bonfire when Sam walks up holding a plate of marshmallows. “Are we all ready for another elimination?” Sam asks. “Only if I’m not the one being eliminated!” Grandma says. “At least Dun Dun no going anywhere.” Dun Dun says. “How do you know that?” Yeller asks. “Because people love Dun Dun.” Dun Dun says. Yeller rolls his eyes. “Claire, Lauren, Yeller, and Dun Dun, you all get marshmallows!” Sam says, as he tosses marshmallows to them. “Bo and Grandma, I’m sorry to say that you both got votes, which means one of you is going home!” Sam reveals. “Oh dear…” Bo says. “If those moron viewers voted me off for the SECOND time…” Grandma mumbles. Sam opens an envelope and looks at the votes. “Lets see, we have one vote for Grandma, one vote for Bo, and the final vote is for...Grandma!” Sam announces, as he throws Bo a marshmallow! “WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!” Grandma angrily asks. “Sorry Grandma, but its curtains for you...again! And trust me, we made sure Bo wasn’t able to vote this time, so your elimination was ALL the viewers!” Sam says. Grandma stands up. “UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!” Grandma screams. Grandma walks up to Sam. “You rigged the vote, didn’t ya Sam?! You never did like me!” Grandma yells. “Um, I’m the one who brought you back after you got eliminated the first time! If it wasn’t for me, you would’ve been done in episode 3!” Sam points out. “PLEASE! You only brought me back because my good for nothing son decided to pose as a viewer and vote me out! Maybe it was another one of these losers that got me kicked out! Maybe it was Claire this time! She never did like me!” Grandma says. “I mean, that’s true, but it wasn’t me.” Claire says. “Grandma, trust me. NO ONE here voted you out! It was the viewers! They do not like you! They think you’re mean to your son Bo!” Sam says. “WHAT?! NO ONE IS MORE RESPECTFUL OF THAT FANCY PANTS BALD HEADED LOSER THAN I AM!” Grandma screams. “Mother, please! You must accept the fact that you have lost!” Bo says. “I’m not accepting nothing! I demand a recount!” Grandma says. “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. MAN-SHARK!” Sam calls out. Man-Shark arrives and picks up Grandma. “Put me down you ugly freak!” Grandma demands.

At the dock, Yeller, Dun Dun, Lauren, Claire, Bo, and Sam all stand on the sidelines as Man-Shark throws Grandma on to the log of shame. “This is an outrage! You think I’m gonna let this slide?! I’m gonna remember every single person that was involved in this! I’m not just talking about the viewers either, I’m talking about all of YOU! I’LL GET MY REVENGE! YOU’LL SEE! YOU’LL ALL SEE! YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF GRANDMA!” Grandma screams, as she floats away on the log of shame. “You know...I really am happy that she’s finally gone.” Sam says. “Dun Dun miss her already.” Dun Dun says.

The next day, Lauren, Dun Dun, Yeller, and Bo are sitting in the cafeteria when Claire walks in. “Good morning, final fivers!” Claire says. “Morning? Its past noon!” Yeller points out. “Oh jeez, did I sleep that long? Well I deserved the R&R after that tremendous victory of mine yesterday.” Claire says, as she sits next to Lauren. “You did good.” Lauren tells her. “I think now that my treacherous mother has been eliminated, hopefully for the very last time, we will all finally get some well deserved rest and relaxation.” Bo says. “But Dun Dun like Grandma.” Dun Dun says. “So don’t I, but better her getting eliminated than me.” Yeller says. Sam walks in. “Good morning campers, and welcome to the final five! You’ve all had quite a run, haven’t you? You’ve managed to out last Creepy Guy, Disk, Dylan, Mr. Whiskers, Cop, Chimney Man, Daisy, Andy, AND Grandma!” Sam says. “Do we really need a whole season recap? We’re in the final five, not the final two.” Yeller points out. “Don’t worry Yeller, we get there.” Dun Dun says. “Just wanted to remind everyone of what they’ve accomplished, and remind everyone that the trials and tribulations aren’t over yet! You still have to survive three more episodes to be declared the winner of Total Yeller Mania Castaways! With that being said, lets get the first of those three underway! If the five of you will please follow me, I’ll bring you to the sight of your next challenge.

Sam, Lauren, Dun Dun, Yeller, Bo, and Claire arrive on a cliff. “Here we are, on the highest point of the island! Fantastic view, right?” Sam asks. “Its nothing but water for miles.” Yeller points out. “Maybe because we’re in the ocean…” Lauren suggests. “Might I ask what this cliff has to do with our challenge?” Bo questions. “Good question, Bo! Today, you’re all going to be cliff diving!” Sam announces. “Oh lord…” A terrified Bo mutters. “In today’s challenge, you are going to be searching for lost treasure.” Sam says. Sam pulls out a small statue of himself. “One of these is buried deep within the depths of the waters below. It is your job to find it! The first contestant to locate the statue wins immunity.” Sam says. “That sounds simple enough.” Claire says. “Almost too simple. Where’s the catch?” Yeller questions. “You’re right, it isn’t nearly as simple as it sounds. The statue is well hidden, and clearly you can’t stay under water forever without drowning. Therefore, every time you come up for air, you have to walk up the hill and jump off the cliff all over again!” Sam says. “Are you serious?!” Claire asks. “That is absurd!” Bo exclaims. “You made it to the final five and you thought it was going to be easy? That’s a good one. On top of having to walk back up to the cliff if you come up for air, you’ll also have to deal with electric eels!” Sam announces. “F my life.” Claire says. “So, are we all ready to begin?” Sam asks. “Just one quick question. I don’t suppose we can sit the challenge out? I’d be perfectly fine risking elimination if it meant not having to jump off of this cliff.” Bo says. “I’d be okay with that too.” Claire says. “Sure you can! Just know that if you do sit out this challenge, you won’t be risking elimination...you WILL be eliminated.” Sam says. “Oh dear, that presents quite the dilemma.” Bo says. “Oh don’t worry, its real easy! See for yourself!” Sam says, before shoving Bo off of the cliff! Bo can be heard screaming on his way down. “That’s code for start!” Sam announces. Lauren runs and dives off of the cliff. As Lauren enters the water, she can see Bo being electrocuted by an eel. Lauren then dives deeper and begins looking on the ocean floor for the statue.

Up on the cliff, Claire looks over the edge of the cliff. “Is it worth being eliminated? I don’t want to cliff dive!” Claire says. Dun Dun walks up to Claire. “Is Claire conflicted?” Dun Dun asks. “I mean, I’m not big on the whole cliff diving thing.” Claire says. “Dun Dun understand that you big baby, it no worry.” Dun Dun says. “Thanks...hold on, EXCUSE ME?! BIG BABY?!” Claire asks. “That what Claire is if she no jump off cliff!” Dun Dun yells. “I am NOT a baby!” Claire says, as she jumps off of the cliff. Dun Dun notices Yeller looking over the cliff. “Hm, is there any way I could get down there without jumping and without being eliminated?” Yeller wonders. Dun Dun walks up behind Yeller and casually pushes him off the cliff! Dun Dun then jumps in after him. As Dun Dun enters the water, Bo can be seen floating unconscious as Claire comes up for air. “I was REALLY hoping to find that stupid statue on my first time! Why are these things never easy?!” Claire asks. “Because you’re in the final five!” Sam can be heard yelling. “Yeah, for the thousandth time, I KNOW!” Claire shouts. Lauren surfaces from under the water. “Wow, you were down there for a while. I was getting worried.” Claire says. “I’m trained to hold my breath for long periods of time.” Lauren says. “Any luck?” Claire questions. “Nope.” Lauren admits. “Well at least I’ll have someone to walk with me back up to the cliff.” Claire says.

Under water, Dun Dun is on the ocean floor digging in the sand. As she is digging, she unearths a lobster. Dun Dun goes to pat it but the lobster pinches her! Dun Dun swims to the surface and then lets out a loud scream.

On the cliff, Man-Shark walks up to Sam. “The contestants are gonna be coming up soon and I feel like the long walk won’t be enough of a challenge, they are in the final five after all. Hey, I’ve got an idea!” Sam says. Sam walks up to Man-Shark and whispers something in his ear. “Think you can manage that?” Sam asks. Man-Shark gives Sam a thumbs up. “Have at it, buddy!” Sam says. Man-Shark runs off.

Lauren, Claire, and Dun Dun are walking up the hill. “This is SUCH a long walk…” Claire says. “We JUST started walking up the hill.” Lauren points out. “Excuse! Does no one care Dun Dun got hurt by lobster?” Dun Dun questions. “Do lobsters even live under water?” Lauren wonders. “Yeah! Haven’t you seen them in those fish tanks at the store?” Claire asks. Yeller walks up to them. “Lobsters mainly live underwater and cannot survive on land for long periods of time.” Yeller says. “Well EXCUSE us Mr. Lobster Connoisseur! “You supposed to say “excuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess.” Dun Dun says. “Why?” An oblivious Claire wonders. “It from cartoon!” Dun Dun snaps. “I don’t get the reference, probably because I don’t watch crap.” Lauren says. “So can we go back and ask ourselves how Yeller knows anything about lobsters?” Claire asks. “I really don’t care that much.” Lauren says. Dun Dun looks around. “Wait, where old bald man?” Dun Dun questions. “Oh, he was still unconscious last time I saw him.” Yeller says. “Did you think about helping him?” Claire asks. “Did YOU?!” Yeller asks. “He’s got you there.” Lauren notes. “All due respect babe, but I didn’t see you giving him a hand either.” Claire points out. “I didn’t want to waste any time.” Lauren says. Claire turns towards Dun Dun. “And you?” Claire asks. Dun Dun shrugs. “Dun Dun no like old bald man, why would she help?” Dun Dun asks. Bo walks up. “AAAAAHHHHH! ITS A ZOMBIE!” Claire screams. “I was never dead you bloody fool! By the way, my heart is warmed by all of the people who set out to help me as I drifted away to sea!” Bo sarcastically says. “You welcome.” Dun Dun says. “I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!” Bo screams.

DUN DUN’S CONFESSIONAL: “Dun Dun no like old bald man’s tone. After everything she do for him, that how he talk to her? UNACCEPTABLE!” Dun Dun yells.

YELLER’S CONFESSIONAL: “I understand my Dad’s anger, truly. But come on now...if he doesn’t win the challenge, that’s just one less obstacle stopping me from making it into the final four! As my father, I’m sure he’d understand.” Yeller says.

BO’S CONFESSIONAL: “I don’t understand why no one would help me, especially my own bloody son!” Bo yells.

Claire, Lauren, Dun Dun, Yeller, and Bo are walking up the hill when Yeller stops in his tracks. “Hold on, do you see that?” Yeller asks. Lauren looks to the top of the hill and sees Man-Shark standing there. “Its Man-Shark, but what’s he doing?” Lauren wonders. Man-Shark walks over to a tree and rips it out of the ground! Man-Shark then tosses the tree down the hill! “EVERYONE MOVE!” Lauren shouts. Lauren and Claire jump to one side as Bo and Yeller jump to the other. Meanwhile, Dun Dun stands in the middle looking confused. “Where do Dun Dun go?” Dun Dun wonders. Before Dun Dun figures it out, the tree rolls right over her! Claire, Lauren, Bo, and Yeller come back out. “Is she okay?” Claire wonders. “Who cares! We need to get to the top!” Yeller says. Suddenly, Yeller is hit by a boulder coming down the hill! “Ow…” An injured Yeller mumbles. Lauren looks up and sees Man-Shark lifting up another boulder. “Where did he get all of those?!” Claire wonders. “Its best not to question it. Lets just try to get up there without getting run over.” Lauren says. “That sounds much easier said than done…” Bo notes. Lauren, Claire, and Bo then run towards the top of the hill, dodging Man-Shark’s boulders. Lauren finally reaches the top and passes Man-Shark. “Nice try.” Lauren tells him. Man-Shark begins stomping his feet in a rage. Claire and Bo run by Man-Shark next. “Better luck next time.” Claire says. Man-Shark lets out a frustrated scream.

Meanwhile on the hill, Dun Dun comes across Yeller lying on the ground. “Did Yeller get hit by tree too?” Dun Dun wonders. “Boulder…” Yeller mutters. “Oh...Dun Dun hate those.” Dun Dun says. Dun Dun begins to head up the hill. “Where are you going?!” Yeller questions. “Dun Dun need to go to hill so she can jump off cliff.” Dun Dun says. “Aren’t you going to help me out?!” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun no know. Dun Dun only help people she in alliance with, and Yeller say alliance over last time.” Dun Dun says. “That’s because you abandoned me in the boat race!” Yeller reminds her. “YELLER ABANDON DUN DUN FIRST!” Dun Dun shouts. Yeller sighs. “Okay...lets discuss this like two, rational, mature adults.” Yeller says. “Okay butt-head.” Dun Dun says. “DUN DUN!” Yeller scolds. “Sorry.” Dun Dun claims. “There are only five of us left, Dun Dun. We are so close to winning this whole thing!” Yeller points out. “But only one person can win.” Dun Dun points out. “But wouldn’t it be better if one of us won? That way, we could split the million!” Yeller says. “Dun Dun would agree, but Dun Dun probably stab Yeller in back and keep whole million for herself.” Dun Dun admits. “Yeah, I’d probably do the same. But come on now, would you rather one of us win? Or Lauren or Claire or my Dad? Sure my Dad lives with me, but he’s not gonna give us any of the money! He’s stingy! Its the reason we always have to steal his credit cards to actually be able to buy crap!” Yeller says. “Yeller right! Old bald man is old BAD man!” Dun Dun states. “Exactly! And that makes Lauren and Claire young bad women! Do you really want the bad guys to win?” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun want Dun Dun to win!” Dun Dun says. “So lets do something about it! Stick with me, and we’re going to the final two together!” Yeller says. Dun Dun helps Yeller up. “Fine, Dun Dun give Yeller one more chance.” Dun Dun says. “Thank you Dun Dun, your faith won’t be misplaced.” Yeller says. Suddenly, Yeller gets hit by another boulder! “IDIOT! Dun Dun no sitting around here no longer! Alliance is OVER!” Dun Dun shouts, before running up the hill. Yeller pokes his head out from under the boulder. “Fine! Be that way! Works for me that I don’t have to carry your incompetent butt to the finale!” Yeller shouts.

Up on the top of the hill, Lauren holds out her hand to Claire. “Grab my hand, we’ll jump together.” Lauren says. “Aw, you’re so sweet.” Claire says. Claire takes Lauren’s hand and they both jump off of the cliff. Meanwhile, Bo is looking over the edge of the cliff. “Oh dear…” Bo mutters. “Having second thoughts again?” Sam questions. “In fairness, I did get electrocuted down there earlier. Perhaps it would be better if I just quit now…” Bo says. Dun Dun walks up behind Bo and shoves him off of the cliff! “Where did you come from?!” Sam asks. “Dun Dun come from House of Dun.” Dun Dun says, before doing a cannon ball off of the cliff. “Okay…” Sam says. Yeller runs up to Sam. “Am I too late?! Did someone win already?!” Yeller asks. “Nope! But everyone is currently underwater, so someone very well could win!” Sam says. “NO!” Yeller shouts, before diving off the cliff.

Underwater, Claire is digging through the sand when she notices an electric eel coming at her! Claire swims to the surface and then makes her way to the beach. “UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! I can’t believe I couldn’t find it AGAIN!” Claire yells. Dun Dun walks up to Claire with both of her hands bandaged. “What happened to your other hand?” Claire asks. “Dun Dun friend the lobster return with vengeance.” Dun Dun reveals. Lauren runs onto the shore. “Nothing?” Claire asks. “I can’t find that stupid thing!” Lauren admits. Meanwhile, Bo washes up on shore unconscious. Claire walks over to him and gently kicks him. Bo jumps awake. “Eels! EELS!” Bo screams. “Do I even need to ask what happened to you?” Lauren asks. “It happened again…” Bo mutters. “Ouch...literally.” Claire says. “Sam, may I have a word!” Bo shouts. Sam appears. “You rang?” Sam asks. “I’m afraid I simply cannot take any more of this. I have been shoved off a cliff, electrocuted, rendered unconscious, and that is simply from this episode! This is the moment where I must say enough is enough. I am stepping away from the competition!” Bo announces. Claire and Dun Dun gasp. Yeller comes out of the water. “Did I hear you right, Dad? You’re quitting?” Yeller asks. “I have to, son. For my own sanity! Please, don’t try and talk me out of this…” Bo says. “I wasn’t going to.” Yeller says. “So, you do not care if I stay or go?” Bo wonders. “It doesn’t matter to me.” Yeller admits. “Bloody heck! Then I am staying! I am going to prove all of you naysayers wrong who do not believe Bo Yeller is capable of reigning victorious!” Bo states. “That sounds great and all...but its a no go. You already quit, and in this show, there are no take backs. Sorry to say Bo, but you are out of the competition!” Sam announces. “Oh darn…” A disappointed Bo says. “Don’t be so sad though, I’ll let you stick around to watch the remaining contestants battle it out to see who gets a free ticket into the final three! That’s right, campers! With Bo’s elimination, we are now in the final four! And if you want to make it to the final three, I suggest you get back to the game!” Sam says. “I wish you luck, dear friends.” Bo says. “Thank you old bald man.” Dun Dun says. “I don’t wish you luck…” Bo says. Dun Dun, Yeller, Claire, and Lauren begin running up the hill again. Yeller runs up next to Dun Dun. “So, about that alliance…” Yeller says. “NO!” Dun Dun snaps. “Oh come on! This could be our only chance at getting to the finale! You and I both know Lauren and Claire are working together, so we should be too!” Yeller says. “No alliance! Dun Dun HATE alliance!” Dun Dun says. “Well I hope you also enjoy being DEAD last!” Yeller says, as he moves out of the way. “Huh?” Dun Dun asks. Suddenly, Dun Dun is hit by a boulder! Yeller manages to catch up to Lauren and Claire, and the three are seen dodging boulders that are repeatedly being thrown at them. At the top of the hill, Man-Shark goes to reach for another boulder but discovers they’re all gone! Sam walks up to him. “What happened to all the boulders?! There were at least a hundred there when you started!” Sam points out. Man-Shark shrugs. “Sounds like someone went a little crazy! Just great! NOW what are you supposed to throw at them?!” Sam asks. Man-Shark picks Sam up. “Woah, woah, woah, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Sam asks. Man-Shark then tosses Sam down the hill! Suddenly, Sam collides with Claire and knocks her down the hill! “CLAIRE!” Lauren shouts. “So long suckers!” Yeller says, as he reaches the top of the hill. Lauren runs to Claire’s side. “Are you okay?” Lauren asks. “Yeah, I’m fine…” Claire says. Claire turns towards Sam. “Watch where you’re going, MORON!” Claire snaps. “Maybe you should’ve been watching where YOU were going!” Sam tells her. Lauren helps Claire up. “Come on, we aren’t out of the race yet.” Lauren says. Dun Dun passes by them. “Bye bye!” Dun Dun tells them. “Come on!” Claire tells Lauren as she runs up the hill. Lauren follows.

At the top of the hill, Yeller is standing at the edge of the cliff. “This is gonna be my victory dive, I just know it! Its gotta be special.” Yeller says. Dun Dun walks up behind Yeller and shoves him off the cliff! Dun Dun then jumps off herself. Lauren and Claire arrive at the cliff. “Ugh! They already jumped!” Claire says. “We’ve gotta hurry up and find that statue.” Lauren says. “You don’t have to tell me twice!” Claire says before diving off the cliff. “Well someone is eager…” Lauren says, before jumping off the cliff.

CLAIRE’S CONFESSIONAL: “Nothing is a better incentive than winning one million dollars. Sure, its been an incentive all season, but I am THIS close to winning it all!” Claire says.

Yeller, Dun Dun, Claire, and Lauren are all underwater now. Yeller is digging in the sand but Dun Dun pushes him out of the way and begins digging where he was. Meanwhile, as Claire is digging, an electric eel comes up next to her. Claire’s eyes widen. Lauren swims up next to her and raises an eyebrow when she notices the eel doesn’t appear to be swimming, just floating. Claire panics when Lauren grabs the eel, but is surprised when Lauren isn’t electrocuted. Lauren then uses her hand to wipe paint off of the eel and it is revealed to be Sam’s statue! Claire claps, but then Dun Dun comes out of nowhere, grabs the statue, and swims to the surface! Dun Dun holds the statue up. “And the winner of today’s challenge is Dun Dun!” Sam announces. Yeller, Lauren, and Claire surface. “Hold on! Lauren was the one who grabbed the eel and figured out it was the statue!” Claire notes. “Yeah, but if you remember, I said first person to bring the statue to the SURFACE wins the challenge, which is exactly what Dun Dun did! Congrats Dun Dun, you’re heading to the final three!” Sam announces. “Unbelievable!” Yeller complains. Dun Dun glares at Yeller. “I mean, YAY! Go alliance! Freaking cheater…” Yeller mumbles. “Yeller, Lauren, and Claire, brace yourselves, because you three are on the chopping block!” Sam says.

On the dock, Sam, Yeller, Dun Dun, Lauren, and Claire stand on the sidelines as Bo gets on the log of shame. “As much as I enjoyed this experience, it seems like a fitting time for it to come to an end.” Bo says. “Why’s that?” Claire wonders. “I don’t know, I just wanted to say that.” Bo says. “Don’t worry Dad, I’ll try to restore our family’s honor.” Yeller says. “Oh my dear son, I say this with love...you are the reason our family doesn’t have any honor. Ciao.” Bo says, as the log of shame floats away. Sam turns to face the camera. “With Grandma and Bo both gone, we now only have four contestants left! But at the beginning of the next episode, four contestants will soon become three! Who will survive the next elimination and make it to the final three? Find out in the next episode, the semi finals of Total...Yeller...Mania...CASTAWAYS!” Sam says.