Episode 10: Sam's Circuit

Sam is standing on the dock of the island. “Previously on Total Yeller Mania Castaways! The previous episode once again kicked off with an elimination, and it was a big one. After wreaking havoc for so long, Daisy finally got eliminated! She took that about as well as you would expect. She flipped her lid, she went off on Lauren and Claire, but before Daisy left, Claire was kind enough to give her a slap goodbye! How heartwarming. Once Daisy was gone, the seven remaining contestants were forced to play a game of paintball, only the only one with a gun was Man-Shark. While hiding from Man-Shark, the contestants began scrambling to form alliances with each other. Lauren and Claire formed their own alliance, Yeller and Dun Dun tried to form an alliance with Andy which didn’t work out for them, Grandma formed an alliance with Bo, which was short lived when she used Bo as a distraction so she could escape Man-Shark, and then she shoehorned her way into Lauren and Claire’s alliance, which didn’t turn out so well for them when Man-Shark showed up and Grandma used Claire as a human shield. Lauren was so distracted by Grandma’s betrayal, she ended up getting shot too! In the end, Grandma ended up winning immunity, leaving Yeller, Dun Dun, Bo, Andy, Lauren, and Claire on the chopping block at tonight’s elimination. Who will be the next person to be sent packing? Find out in a brand new episode of Total...Yeller...Mania...Castaways!” Sam says.

Yeller, Dun Dun, Bo, Grandma, Andy, Lauren, and Claire are all sitting around the bonfire when Sam arrives holding a plate of marshmallows. “Good news cast! We are in the homestretch! This is episode 10, which means after this, only three more episodes to go! But enough about that. On this plate I have six marshmallows for the six of you that get to continue in the competition. One of you unfortunately will not be so lucky. Grandma, you won immunity last time which means you are the first person to get a marshmallow!” Sam says, as he throws Grandma a marshmallow. “That should’ve been mine, cheater!” Claire grumbles. “Quit being such a sore loser!” Grandma tells Claire. “I am NOT a sore loser! Lauren, KILL HER!” Claire demands. “Oh, I don’t know...I’m not really big on killing the elderly.” Lauren says. “Who you calling elderly?” Grandma asks. “Are you three finished yet?! I still got five more marshmallows to pass out!” Sam says. “Oh, sorry. Go ahead.” Claire says. “Claire, Lauren, you two are also safe.” Sam says, as he throws them marshmallows. “We made it into the final six babe!” Claire exclaims. “I’m not sure if that’s something to be happy about…” Lauren says. “Also making it into the final six are Yeller and Dun Dun!” Sam says, as he throws them marshmallows. “Oh yes Dun Dun!” Dun Dun says. “Bo and Andy, both of you have received votes, which means one of you will not be continuing on into the next challenge!” Sam says. “Oh dear, no, not Andy or myself! Anyone but Andy or myself! I do hope it is me, dear boy.” Bo tells Andy. “I do hope it is you too!” Andy tells Bo. “And the final marshmallow of the night goes to...Bo!” Sam says, as he throws Bo a marshmallow! Andy’s eyes widen. “I got eliminated? But...who would want to vote me out?” Andy asks. “Hm, lets see…” Sam says, as he opens up an envelope. “The last person to vote for you was...a guy named Andy! Wow, what a coincidence.” Sam says.

On the dock, Sam, Lauren, Claire, Dun Dun, Yeller, Grandma, and Bo stand on the sidelines as Andy approaches the log of shame. “For what it is worth, I am going to miss you dearly, old boy.” Bo tells Andy. “Thanks Bo, I’ll miss you too!” Andy says. “I wish you could’ve made it into the final three with Lauren and me. That would’ve been pretty cool.” Claire says. “Yeah, it would’ve been. Maybe next time.” Andy says. “Please tell me there won’t be another season of this crap…” Lauren mumbles. “Don’t worry. Once I win the million, I’m gonna buy this show and shut it down!” Grandma claims. Andy gets onto the log of shame. “Goodbye everyone!” Andy says, as he begins floating away. “Who was that?” Dun Dun wonders.

The next day, the six remaining contestants are standing out in front of the cabins. Yeller and Claire are kicking a soccer ball back and forth as the others watch. “I could do this all day!” Yeller says. “Oh yeah? Wanna bet?” Claire asks. Claire kicks the ball really hard and it hits Yeller right in the face! Yeller falls to the ground. “Maybe not…” Yeller mumbles. “Where the heck is Sam? I wanna do our next challenge so I can hurry up and get into the final five!” Grandma says. “I wouldn’t get too cocky if I were you. You don’t have too many people who like you.” Lauren points out. “Good thing none of you losers can vote then, ain’t it?” Grandma says. Suddenly, a helicopter can be heard. “What’s that?!” Claire wonders. “If I had to make an assumption based on what I am able to see with my own bloody eyes, I would say it is a helicopter!” Bo says. “No kidding! But what’s it doing here?” Claire wonders. Yeller squints. “It looks like its carrying something!” Yeller says. “Do you think its Daisy?! Maybe she came back to bomb the island!” Claire suggests. “Magnolia? That you?!” Dun Dun calls up. “Its dropping something! Everyone take cover!” Lauren shouts. Everyone dives in different directions as something hits the ground, creating a large cloud of dust! Once the dust clears, Dun Dun walks up to what appears to be a boat. “What this CRAP?! This no bomb!” Dun Dun yells. “Were you hoping it would be?!” Bo questions. Suddenly, Sam pops out from inside the boat! “Good morning contestants! Hope my dramatic entrance didn’t scare you!” Sam says. “That was supposed to be dramatic?” Yeller asks. “Uh...yes! Its not every day the host of the reality show you’re competing on drops out of the sky!” Sam says. “You know you could’ve just sky dived, right?! What was the need for the boat?” Grandma asks. “Sky diving wouldn’t be the same, because falling in the boat helps me introduce you all to your next challenge!” Sam says. “We’re gonna fall from the sky inside boats? How does that work? The ones who don’t die don’t get eliminated?” Claire asks. “No! But I really should write that down, that’s a good one! Anyways, in today’s challenge, the six of you will be going on a little boat race around the island! Race your hand if you know how to operate a boat!” Sam says. Lauren and Grandma both raise their hands. “Wait, you know how to drive a boat? How come you’ve never told me this?” Claire asks. “It never came up. I learned back when I was a spy.” Lauren says. “Same here.” Grandma says. “Well if you don’t know how to yet, I suggest you learn! I also hope you are good at putting things together, because not only will you be racing the boats, you will be the ones to build them!” Sam announces. “Why? Is the show’s budget so small you can’t even afford to supply the boats?” Yeller asks. “The show’s budget is perfectly fine! We just don’t want to make things easier for you. Besides, there are some perks that come with building your own boats. We’ll be allowing you to make your own modifications.” Sam reveals. “What kind of modifications?” Grandma wonders. “Any kind you want!” Sam says.

CLAIRE’S CONFESSIONAL: “Glitter cannon here I come!” Claire exclaims.

On the beach, Claire is sitting on the ground staring at a bunch of boat parts. “Oh boy...this looks a lot more complicated than I thought.” Claire says. Dun Dun walks up to Claire. “Can Dun Dun be of help?” Dun Dun asks. “Somehow I doubt it, but go ahead and give it your best shot.” Claire says. “First thing, Claire no need hammer. Use banana instead.” Dun Dun says, as she takes Claire’s hammer and hands her a banana. “I’m sorry...what?!” Claire asks. “Study show that banana good for boat crafting!” Dun Dun claims. “You just want to steal my hammer!” Claire suggests. Dun Dun gasps. “How dare you accuse Dun Dun of heinous crime!” Dun Dun yells. “How dare YOU think I’m stupid enough to fall for said heinous crime!” Claire says. “Well you are!” Dun Dun argues. Lauren walks up to them. “What’s going on here?” Lauren asks. “This halfwit took my hammer and tried to say a banana would work better for building a boat!” Claire says. “Dun Dun not halfwit! Dun Dun fullwit!” Dun Dun shouts. “Halfwit!” Claire yells. “Fullwit!” Dun Dun yells. “Okay, that’s enough! Dun Dun, give her back the hammer.” Lauren says. Dun Dun pouts. “Dun Dun no wanna.” Dun Dun says. “Just do it!” Lauren demands. Dun Dun hands Claire back the hammer. “Now apologize.” Lauren tells her. “Dun Dun no gonna apologize when she do nothing wrong!” Dun Dun says. “Oh come on! Its two simple words!” Claire notes. “Dun Dun no apologizing to Claire until Claire apologize to Dun Dun!” Dun Dun says. “For what?!” Claire asks. “For taking back hammer!” Dun Dun states. “Uggggggggggh, this is IMPOSSIBLE!” Claire yells. Dun Dun takes Claire’s screwdriver and runs off! “Are you kidding me?! Did you-did she-SHE JUST STOLE MY SCREWDRIVER!” Claire yells. “You can use mine, I’m all done anyways.” Lauren says. “You’re done?! HOW?!” Claire asks. “All I did was build a boat. Pretty simple.” Lauren claims. “Yeah, real simple. Just as easy as building a nuclear bomb.” Claire says. “Well...I’d say that’s easier.” Lauren says.

Dun Dun walks up to Yeller. “You want to buy screwdriver off Dun Dun?” Dun Dun asks. “I already have a screwdriver. Wait...what kinda screwdriver we talking here?” Yeller asks. “Tool.” Dun Dun says. “Oh, then yeah, I already have one.” Yeller says. “This one better!” Dun Dun claims. “It looks the exact same as the one I have!” Yeller points out. “What kind of alliance member are you if you won’t buy off Dun Dun?!” Dun Dun asks. “What kind of alliance member are you if you’re trying to con me?!” Yeller asks. “Dun Dun no conning you! She just selling you something for ridiculous price that you could buy at dollar store for cheap! Does that make her con?!” Dun Dun asks. “YES!” Yeller shouts. “FINE! Be that way! Dun Dun take business elsewhere!” Dun Dun shouts, before walking away.

Bo is on another part of the beach building his boat. “Hm, I know Sam said we could add modifications to help improve our chances of victory in the race, but my concern is that someone else could end up getting injured in the process. Lauren and Claire seem like such lovely people, and then we have my beloved son. Dun Dun...well, I suppose I wouldn’t be too bothered if harm were to befall that menace, and then there is mother…” Bo says. “What about me?!” Grandma asks. Bo turns and Grandma can be seen building her boat right beside him. “Oh, mother! I forgot you were right there!” Bo says. “That’s what happens when you gotta keep talking out loud! You’ve always had a problem with that, since you were a little boy! You just never knew when to shut up! You and your fancy words and your ramblings…” Grandma says. “I do apologize.” Bo says. “How about you do shut up and BUILD THE FREAKING BOAT?!” Grandma asks. “Ah yes, of course!” Bo says. Dun Dun walks up to them. “Would anyone like to buy screwdriver? It special screwdriver.” Dun Dun says. “Talk to him, he’s the one dumb enough to fall for it.” Grandma says. Dun Dun turns towards Bo. “Would old bald man like to buy special screwdriver from Dun Dun?” Dun Dun asks. “May I ask what is so special about this mystical screwdriver?” Bo asks. “Uh...it screw things on it own! You no even need to turn it!” Dun Dun says. “Oh, you mean like a drill?” Bo asks. “IT NOTHING LIKE THAT!!!” Dun Dun shouts. “Well, it does sound intriguing. On the one hand, a tool such as that would make this process so much easier. On the other, you have proven in the past to be an untrustworthy individual who would have no qualms about deceiving me into purchasing a faulty tool. Hm, this is quite the dilemma. I believe I need more time to contemplate my next move.” Bo says. “You know what? FORGET IT! Dun Dun no have patience to wait until Christmas! She go find some other sucker!” Dun Dun says, before storming off. “Was it something I said?” Bo wonders. “Its ALWAYS something you said!” Grandma says.

Sam arrives on the beach. “Okay campers, your time is up! I hope you were able to finish your boat in time!” Sam says. “Dun Dun no even able to start!” Dun Dun says. “Maybe if you spent less time going around trying to con people…” Yeller says. “For last time, Dun Dun no conning ANYONE!” Dun Dun yells. “Anyways, moving on. The next part of the challenge will be a two lap race around the island. But, its not as simple as just trying to stay ahead. Not only will you have to deal with sabotage from your fellow contestants, but I’ve planted a couple of surprises around the water to keep you busy.” Sam says. “What kind of surprises?” Lauren asks. “The dangerous kind. But if everyone is ready, we can get started!” Sam says. “Is Pam deaf?! Dun Dun no have boat STUPID!” Dun Dun shouts. “Well then I guess Dun Dun is out of the race! Better luck next time, assuming you don’t get voted out.” Sam says.

Lauren, Claire, Bo, Grandma, and Yeller are all on their individual boats. “Okay, when I fire the flare gun, that’s your cue to get moving! First person to pass both laps wins the challenge as well as immunity in the next elimination!” Sam says. Sam holds the flare gun up in the air and fires it! The contestants then speed off. Meanwhile, Dun Dun paddles by on the log of shame. “Dun Dun no out of race yet!” Dun Dun states. “I’ll allow it.” Sam says.

Grandma can be seen in the lead. “Figures those kids can’t keep up with me!” Grandma says. Claire pulls up besides Grandma. “What was that?” Claire asks. “Don’t even bother! I’ve already won!” Grandma says. Claire presses a button on her boat and it shoots glitter into Grandma’s eyes! “I can’t see! I’M BLIND!” Grandma screams. “That’s for using me as a human shield last episode! BYE FELICIA!” Claire says, as she speeds off. “And Claire takes the lead! Can someone else get in front of her?” Sam questions. Bo pulls up next to Grandma. “Mother, are you alright?” Bo questions. “Do I look alright to you?! That girl put glitter in my eyes!” Grandma states. “Oh?” Bo asks. Grandma jumps on Bo’s boat. “Step on it, boy!” Grandma demands. “Is this even allowed?” Bo questions. “Who cares?! I can’t see, so somebody needs to drive me around! NOW MOVE IT!” Grandma shouts. Bo steps on the gas pedal and goes speeding off. Meanwhile, Dun Dun paddles by the abandoned boat, gasping for air. “Dun Dun...need...BREAK.” Dun Dun gasps. Yeller pulls up next to Dun Dun. “Problem?” Yeller asks. “Yes, big problem! Dun Dun need ride!” Dun Dun states. “Call a cab.” Yeller says, before speeding off! “CURSE YOU YELLER!” Dun Dun screams. Lauren speeds by and a wave from her boat causes Dun Dun to flip over! Dun Dun emerges from the water. “THAT IT!” Dun Dun screams. Dun Dun jumps on Grandma’s abandoned boat and speeds off.

As Claire is in the front, she notices Yeller pull up next to her. “Hey Claire, I hope you don’t mind the glare! OHOHOHOHO!” Yeller laughs. “Huh?” Claire asks. Yeller presses a button, and a reflector extends off of his boat and directs the light of the sun right into Claire’s eyes! “NO!” Claire screams. Yeller then cuts in front of Claire. “Yeller has taken first place!” Sam announces. “That bald little troll!” Claire growls. Lauren pulls up next to Claire. “You okay?” Lauren asks. “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me! Just go make sure Yeller ends up in dead last!” Claire says. Lauren smiles. “I think I can manage that.” Lauren says. Lauren speeds off. Bo and Grandma pass by Claire. “So long SUCKER!” Grandma tells Claire. “Oh no! There’s no way in heck I’m letting her get back in front!” Claire says. Claire slams on the gas pedal and begins to gain up on Bo and Grandma. “She’s gaining on us! Time to put some of those fancy modifications to use!” Grandma says. “Ah yes, you’re absolutely right.” Bo says. Bo presses a button and classical music begins to play. “Lovely music son, now where are the bombs?” Grandma asks. “No bombs, mother. I saw the need for only one modification. A radio! After all, what is a race without lovely music to go along with it?” Bo asks. “You IDIOT! Not only were you not smart enough to install weapons on this thing, but you couldn’t even pick good music?!” Grandma asks. “I could always change to opera if you are not a fan of classical!” Bo tells her. Claire pulls up next to Bo and Grandma. “You already used all your stupid glitter!” Grandma gloats. “Uh oh, you’re right! Guess I’m out of options!” Claire says. Claire presses a button, and a cupcake shoots out of her boat and hits Bo in the eyes! “Or maybe not.” Claire says. “Someone help! I cannot see!” Bo complains. “You are a total DISGRACE!” Grandma shouts. Grandma picks Bo up. “Mother, what are you doing?” Bo asks. “Doing what I should’ve done the day you were born! GETTING RID OF YOU!” Grandma yells. Grandma throws Bo at Claire and manages to knock her out of her boat! Claire emerges from the water. “You old bat! This is my favorite outfit and now its SOAKED!” Claire screams. Bo emerges from the water. “I can’t believe this! I allowed her to ride with me, and then she goes and betrays me! Now because of her, I have no boat!” Bo says. Claire climbs back onto her boat and then holds out her hand to Bo. “You’re not out of the game yet. Stick with me, and maybe we can make sure your mother gets what she deserves.” Claire says. “Thank you, young lady! Much appreciated.” Bo says, as Claire helps him onto the boat. Claire then speeds off.

Meanwhile, Yeller manages to pass the finish line. “Yeller has completed the first lap in first place! Will he be able to keep his lead?” Sam asks. “I think I will!” Yeller says. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” A voice says. Yeller turns around and sees Lauren getting closer to him. “How’d she catch up? Ugh, I’m gonna have to do something about that.” Yeller says. Yeller presses a button and a cannon comes out of his boat. Yeller then uses a joystick to point the cannon towards Lauren’s boat. Yeller presses a button and the cannon begins firing rocks! Lauren manages to avoid all of Yeller’s shots. “Are you freaking serious right now…” An annoyed Yeller asks. Lauren then presses a button on her boat that launches a grenade at Yeller’s boat! “ARE YOU SERIOUS?! BOMBS?!?!” Yeller asks. The grenade lands on Yeller’s boat and blows up the front of it, rendering it unable to move! “Relax, I didn’t design it to kill you, just to knock you out of the game.” Lauren says, as she cuts Yeller off. “And Lauren takes the lead!” Sam announces. “Yaaaaaaaaaas! Go for the gold babe!” Claire shouts.

Grandma passes the finish line into the second lap, soon followed by Claire and Bo, and later by Dun Dun. “All of the contestants are now in the second and final lap! I think its time to bring out those surprises I mentioned earlier.” Sam says. Sam pulls out a remote and presses a button. Suddenly, platforms begin emerging from the waters, and they are revealed to have giant spinning hammers on them! “Good luck! You’re gonna need it!” Sam says. Lauren rides begins riding right through the hammers but her boat is hit by one of them! “Crap!” Lauren complains. Grandma goes through the hammers. “See you later!” Grandma tells Lauren. Grandma ends up being hit by a hammer too, which knocks her boat into the air! “You were saying?” Lauren asks.

Dun Dun pulls up next to Yeller’s broken boat. “Problem?” Dun Dun asks. “Lauren destroyed my boat! I need a ride to the finish line.” Yeller says. “Call cab!” Dun Dun tells him, before speeding off. “Fine! Be that way! This alliance is FINISHED!” Yeller shouts.

Meanwhile, Claire and Bo reach the hammers. “How are we ever going to get past these?” Bo questions. “Easy peasy.” Claire says. Claire presses a button and propellers come out the side of her boat. Claire’s boat then ascends into the air and flies right over the hammers! “Simply glorious! Did you come up with that terrific idea yourself?” Bo wonders. “Lauren suggested it to me.” Claire reveals. Claire’s boat descends back into the water and she ends up right next to Lauren. “Hey, you made it past the hammers!” Claire notes. “I can’t say the same about Grandma. I see you picked up a hitchhiker.” Lauren says. “Yes, unfortunately my mother abandoned me.” Bo reveals. “Lucky for you that you have more of a chance of winning than she does.” Lauren says. “So how about we make this a good old fashion race? No tricks, just whoever makes it to the finish line first wins.” Claire suggests. “Sounds good to me. But there is one other wild card left.” Lauren notes.

Dun Dun speeds towards the hammers. “Hammers?! Dun Dun see enough of those in video games! Let see…” Dun Dun says, looking at multiple buttons on Grandma’s boat. “Dun Dun wonder what this button do?” Dun Dun says, as she presses a button. Suddenly, a cannon comes out of the boat and begins launching rockets towards the hammers! The hammers blow up and Dun Dun is able to ride right through with no issue. “First place here Dun Dun come!” Dun Dun announces.

DUN DUN’S CONFESSIONAL: “Dun Dun proof that playing fair get you nowhere. Dun Dun no have boat, she had to take old lady boat, and in moment when she pass Lauren, Claire, and old bald man she going to be first place. Let this be lesson...cheat, cheat, no one can beat!” Dun Dun says.

Lauren, Claire, and Bo get closer to the finish line. “Its a neck and neck race as Lauren’s boat and Claire and Bo’s boat gets closer to the finish line! Who will win the challenge?” Sam asks. Meanwhile, Dun Dun can be seen speeding up behind the two other boats. “Wait a minute, Dun Dun has caught up! Will she swoop in and steal the victory?” Sam wonders. Dun Dun presses a button and a sentry gun emerges on the back of her boat. The gun then begins firing at the two other boats! “Wait, ARE THOSE REAL BULLETS?!” Claire asks. “Are you bloody mad?!?!” Bo asks Dun Dun. “Your mother made that boat! You should be asking HER that question!” Lauren says. “What are we going to do?!” Claire asks. “Surrender!” Bo shouts. “Dun Dun like that idea!” Dun Dun says. Lauren presses a button on her boat and a reflector comes out of it. The bullets hit the reflector and then fly back in Dun Dun’s direction! “OH NO DUN DUN!!!!” Dun Dun screams. Dun Dun jumps off the boat before the bullets can hit it, and the boat ends up exploding! “That takes care of that.” Lauren says. “There! We are almost to the finish line!” Bo announces. As Claire and Lauren both fly towards the finish line, Claire gets a slight lead and manages to pass first! “And the winner of today’s race is Claire!” Sam announces. “YES!” Claire exclaims. Lauren pulls up next to her. “Congrats, you deserve it.” Lauren tells Claire. “We did it!” Bo says. “Hm, I don’t remember saying anything about YOU winning.” Sam points out. “I was in Claire’s boat!” Bo notes. “But you weren’t driving Claire’s boat, which means it doesn’t count! Sorry Bo, but the only winner today is Claire.” Sam says. “Aw, I’m sorry Bo. I was really hoping both of us would come out winners today.” Claire says. “That’s quite alright…” A disappointed Bo says.

Sam is standing on the dock of the island. “And that concludes another episode of Total Yeller Mania Castaways! Claire won immunity, which means Dun Dun, Yeller, Grandma, Bo, and Lauren are all up for elimination! Who do YOU vote for? And who will ACTUALLY get eliminated? Find out next week on Total...Yeller...Mania...Castaways!” Sam says.