S1 Episode 03: Welcome Home, Grandma!

*Yeller is sitting on the couch watching TV. Bo walks in. "Ah, good morning son, how are you today?" Bo asks. "I'm fine, where are you off to so early?" Yeller asks. "I have some business that I need to attend to." Bo says. "Well make sure to be back by dinner, Grandma's coming." Yeller says. "Ah yes, of course, ta ta!" Bo says before walking out. Bo walks in. "Wait a moment, did you say your grandmother is visiting, TODAY?!" Bo asks. "Yeah, she says she misses me." Yeller says. "Well of course she misses you! She never did care too much for me, her own son!" Bo says. "I'm sure your exaggerating. Your her son!" Yeller says. "You don't know your grandmother as well as I do, son. She has made it painfully clear that she has no use for me. She always preferred my brother over me." Bo says. "Okay, now you just sound like the classic jealous brother." Yeller says. "You only say that because you don't know what its like to grow up in a home where you are inferior to your brother, I treated you and your siblings equally. Listen to me, it is imperative that you call your grandmother and tell her not to come!" Bo says. "I cant do that dad." Yeller says. "Why not? You invited her, you make sure she doesn't come!" Bo says. "She's on her way." Yeller says. Bo lets out a girly scream. "Oh dear, oh dear! What am I to do?" Bo wonders. "Nothing, grandma will probably be here soon." Yeller says. "Is she taking a plane or driving?" Bo asks. "Driving." Yeller says. "Of course, your grandmother was always very cheap, she never wanted to spend more than she had to, its to be expected that it has only gotten worse with age. Perhaps you can convince her to turn the car around." Bo says. "Cant, Grandma doesn't have a cellphone. She says that they are a waste of money and if she needs to call someone while she's out, she'll use a phone booth." Yeller says. "Well, if your grandmother MUST visit, then I suppose we should at least clean the place up to make it appear presentable." Bo says. "Why do you care about how the place looks? I didn't think you cared what Grandma thinks." Yeller says. "Despite her clear disdain for me, I still have this need to not want to disappoint her. Its very strange, I know." Bo says. "Well lets get to work then." Yeller says.

5 HOURS LATER

*The doorbell rings. "That must be her, go answer it." Bo says. Yeller nods and opens the door to a short old woman. "Hi Grandma, its good to see you again." Yeller says. "Hello my darling! Where's that good for nothing father of yours?" Grandma asks. Bo reveals himself. "Mother, I see you haven't changed a bit." Bo says. "I see you still wear a top hat, you still bald?" Grandma asks. "Mother, I thought I warned you against making assumptions." Bo says. "You know, your father hasn't had any hair since he was in high school. He lost it in some stupid science experiment in class." Grandma tells Yeller. "Mother, please!" Bo scolds. "What? Do you expect me to keep secrets from my grandson?" Grandma asks. Dun Dun walks in. "Where dinner?" Dun Dun asks. "Who's this?" Grandma asks. "Oh, just the annoying neighbor from down the street. No one important." Bo says. Bo pulls Yeller aside. "What is that ape doing here?!" Bo asks. "Hey, calm down dad! By inviting Dun Dun, I did you a favor! Grandma will be so annoyed by her, she'll be to busy talking crap to her than to focus her attention on you." Yeller says. "Hm, you may be on to something son. What a brilliant idea! One that just might work." Bo says. "Are we gonna eat tonight or do you expect me to starve to death?!" Grandma asks. "Oh, yes! Dinner is on the table. Shall we?" Bo asks. Grandma pushes Bo on the floor. "Out of the way, baldy, I'm starving!" Grandma says. Bo glares at her.

*Yeller, Bo, Grandma, and Dun Dun are sitting around the table eating. "Dun Dun hate this food, who you cook for? Rats?!" Dun Dun asks. "I know! I bet my worthless son cooked it! You never were a good chef, Bo." Grandma says. "So, uh, Dun Dun, do anything fun today?" Yeller asks. "Dun Dun just broke out of jail after you leave her to rot." Dun Dun says. "You were in jail?! For what?!" Grandma asks. "Here we go." Yeller whispers to Bo. "Dun Dun beat up a waiter with no brain, you have problem with that?" Dun Dun asks. "Get the popcorn." Yeller whispers to Bo. "No, not at all! Bo, you failure of a son! Why cant you be more like this fine young lady? My son over there, he chose to be a business man." Grandma says. Grandma and Dun Dun crack up laughing. "Do you have a problem with my career choice, mother?" Bo asks. "You know I do, you sissy! You could've been all kinds of things, but instead you decided to be a suit! Why couldn't you be more like your father? He was a coal miner you know!" Grandma says. "Yes mother, I remember." Bo says. "And your brother explores ancient ruins for a living! Why couldn't you be more like your brother?!" Grandma asks. "What a joke." Dun Dun says. "Enough about my idiot son, tell me Dun Dun, what do you do for a living?" Grandma asks. "Dun Dun steal money from stupid people." Dun Dun says. "Ah, so you work for the government! You see Bo?! This could've been you! Dun Dun is an inspiration!" Grandma says. "I am going to stop you right there! What you are suggesting is absolutely ludicrous! This woman is not an inspiration! She is an embarrassment to this neighborhood! No, this city! I will not stand for your behavior any longer!" Bo yells. "Excuse me?!" Grandma asks. "You have continuously treated me with disrespect for years and I will no longer stand for it! Does it not matter to you that I spent five hours cleaning this home to make sure it was ready for your arrival? I respect you and this is how you treat me?!" Bo asks. "Alright son, calm down. Maybe I haven't been the best mother." Grandma says. "No, you most certainly have not." Bo says. "Okay, I've been an absolutely horrible mother, I should be ashamed of myself." Grandma says. "Grandma! Don't admit anything to that clown! He the one in the wrong!" Dun Dun says. "Sadly, my buffoon son is right. Let me make you a deal Bo, I'll try to make it up to you, but in order to do that, I'm gonna have to move in." Grandma says. "Oh no!" Bo says. "Oh yes! Make room for Grandma! Not only can we finally be mother and son, but I can get to know my good friend Dun Dun better." Grandma says. Bo sighs. "I for one am happy to have you moving in Grandma." Yeller says. "Dun Dun happy too." Dun Dun says. "I'm glad at least some people appreciate me. Don't worry Bo, we're gonna have lots of fun!" Grandma says. Bo begins to cry.