Episode 01: Lights, Camera, Action!

A limo pulls up on to an abandoned film lot. Man-Shark steps out of the driver’s seat, walks to the back door, and opens it to let Sam out. “You think you can drive a little slower next time?! It felt like we were on a never ending roller coaster with pot holes!” Sam yells. Man-Shark points at the cameras. “Oh, are we live?” Sam asks. Man-Shark nods. Sam turns towards the cameras and smiles. “And we are LIVE! Hello everyone and welcome to yet another season of Total Yeller Mania! I am your host, Sam, and this is my glorified intern, Man-Shark! Before we begin, lets review what happened the last time we saw our contestants. 14 contestants spent 13 episodes fighting for a 1 million dollar prize! By season’s end, the only contestants we were left with were Claire and Dun Dun but somehow Dun Dun ended up winning the whole thing. Before Dun Dun could accept her prize money, Mr. Whiskers ended up stealing it and running off with it. By the end of the episode, a piranha ended up eating the million dollars which meant no one got to go home with it! On the plus side, ten contestants from the previous season will get the opportunity to compete for yet another million dollars, along with four contestants that did not appear last season! So now that we’ve gotten the recap out of the way, it is time for our new season to begin. Total...Yeller...Mania...Director’s Cut!” Sam exclaims.

30 Minutes Later…

Sam is staring at his watch. “Weren’t the contestants supposed to be here by now? What if there was some kind of bus crash? What if they all died?! There is no show with no cast, Man-Shark! Sure, we could always hire a bunch of newbies to compete, but it won’t be the same! The ratings will plummet! We will be CANCELED!” Sam panics. A vehicle can be heard approaching and Man-Shark points. Sam turns around and smiles. “And here they come now!” Sam exclaims. A bus pulls up next to Sam and Man-Shark and the doors open. “Why is no one stepping off the bus? Man-Shark, take care of this!” Sam demands. Man-Shark steps onto the bus. “I DON’T WANT TO GO! I DON’T WANT TO GO!” Someone can be heard screaming. Suddenly, Yeller is tossed off of the bus and lands in front of Sam. “And we have our first contestant! Welcome back, Yeller!” Sam says. Yeller stands up. “How many seasons does my contract require me to play again?” Yeller asks. “Four seasons, but who knows how many more seasons I can trick you into signing on for!” Sam says. “One down, second one in progress, just two more to go…” Yeller says. Bo steps off of the bus. “You needn’t worry, dear boy, I am having my attorney review our contracts to search for any possible loophole to get us out of this ordeal.” Bo says. “Nice to see you too, Bo, and welcome back to Total Yeller Mania!” Sam says. “Thank you, hopefully I won’t be staying very long.” Bo says. Dun Dun steps off of the bus. “Dun Dun will stay for however long she need to win 2 million dollars.” Dun Dun says. “Uh...don’t you mean 1 million?” Sam asks. “No, Dun Dun mean 2 MILLION! Dun Dun got robbed last season, you OWE HER!” Dun Dun yells. “Riiiiiight, sure we do. The check is in the mail.” Sam says. Grandma steps off of the bus. “Did I just hear someone is sending me a check?” Grandma asks. “Grandma! Great to see you again!” Sam says. Bo walks over to the bus and grabs Grandma’s hand. “Mother, let me help you down from there.” Bo offers. Grandma slaps Bo’s hand away. “Don’t even think about it! What do I look like, an old lady?” Grandma asks, as she steps down from the bus. Kooky the clown steps off of the bus. “Absolutely not, sweet grandma. You look as young as you did back in your twenties.” Kooky claims. “And here we have a returning contestant from Total Yeller Mania’s past, Kooky! Who isn’t acting so Kooky...you feeling alright buddy?” Sam asks. “Never better, Sam.” Kooky says.

KOOKY’S CONFESSIONAL: “Here’s the deal. I had an incident last summer with a 7 year old kid at the circus who called me Ronald McDonald. The kid ended up in the hospital, I ended up in court, next thing ya know, I’m spending 200 hours taking court mandated anger management classes. Its the whole reason I couldn’t compete last season. So now I’ve gotta remain on my best behavior because anything else would be a probation violation.” Kooky says.

Cop steps off of the bus and spots Kooky. “Who invited the dumb clown?” Cop asks. “Who you calling a dumb...nice to see you again, Cop. I hope you’re doing well.” Kooky says. “I don’t.” Yeller says. “Oh shut up you bald headed menace!” Cop says. “You’re bald, too!” Yeller points out. “But at least I’m not a menace!” Cop argues. “Okay, lets keep this moving along! Cue the next contestant!” Sam says. Leafy Fan smashes her head through one of the window’s on the bus. “Heeeeeeeeeeeeere’s LEAFY! I’m here too.” Leafy Fan says, before doing a back flip out of the bus. “Everyone give a warm welcome back to our dear friend Leafy Fan!” Sam says. “What’s she doing here?” Yeller asks. “Can we vote her off now and be done with it?” Kooky asks. “You won’t be voting anyone off, Kooky. That’s not how things work anymore.” Sam says. “Aw drats!” Kooky complains. Chimney Man walks off of the bus. “Hello world and everyone who lives in it! What a glorious day to win a million dollars!” Chimney Man exclaims. “No one will be winning the million dollars today.” Sam says. “We aren’t? But I thought this was like some sort of rewards program? To thank us for competing you give us each a million dollars!” Chimney Man admits. “Even if our show was that rich we would never do that. We have a hard enough time giving the money to the actual winner!” Sam says. “Of course you do! You probably pay piranha to eat Dun Dun prize money!” Dun Dun accuses. “Oh come on, that’s ridiculous! How would I even make a deal like that? I don’t speak fish!” Sam points out. Man-Shark flashes back.

Man-Shark is standing on the dock of the island when the piranha emerges from the water. Man-Shark looks back and forth and then hands the piranha a wad of cash. The piranha counts the cash, gives Man-Shark a thumbs up, before ducking back into the water. Sam walks up to Man-Shark. “Is it done?” Sam asks. Man-Shark nods. “Good. The piranha will steal the prize money, give it back to us, and then we get to reuse it for next season! Isn’t recycling great?” Sam asks.

Back in the present. “Moving on to our next contestant…” Sam says. Disk walks off of the bus. “I would like to nominate myself to be voted off, please and thank you.” Disk says. “I highly urge you to get in line, Mr. Disk.” Bo says. “Enthusiastic as ever, I see.” Sam says. Claire steps off of the bus. “I would like to say a big hello to all of my adoring fans!” Claire exclaims. “Speaking of enthusiasm.” Sam says. Yeller walks over to Claire. “What are you so happy about?” Yeller asks. “You aren’t famous like I am, I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” Claire says.

CLAIRE’S CONFESSIONAL: So after last season, I got this HUGE increase in followers on all of my social media accounts. Turns out the fans just adore #LaurClaire, that’s what they are calling Lauren and me. Its amazing, I spent years saving the world and no one gave a crap but now that I’ve appeared on two seasons of reality television I’m suddenly a celebrity.” Claire says.

Lauren steps off of the bus. “And here is everyone’s favorite cold blooded WPA agent!” Sam exclaims. “Everyone’s favorite? I don’t know about that…” Lauren says. “Sure you are! We’re famous, babe! Haven’t you looked at the tag?” Claire asks. “The “tag”? What tag?” Lauren asks. “Don’t mind her, I love her but she really sucks at social media.” Claire says. Daisy comes off the bus. “Actually, she just sucks in general.” Daisy says. “Oh good, SHE’S here.” Lauren complains. “Hello ladies, how delightful to see you again. I hope your time off was restful. Oh jeez, what’s with the huge bags under your eyes Lauren? Are those from lack of sleep or from old age?” Daisy questions. “Probably from the stress of having to deal with certain annoying bugs, or should I say flowers.” Lauren says. “Daisy, your face looks more plastic then usual! Don’t tell me you got more work done.” Claire says. Daisy fakes a smile. “Lovely catching up with you two, but I really should go mingle with the others. Toodles!” Daisy says, before walking away from them. “God I hate that woman.” Claire says. “You and me both.” Lauren agrees.

DAISY’S CONFESSIONAL: “I had a LOT of fun with Lauren and Claire last season, but been there done that. Its time that I readjust my priorities, especially if I am going to win the prize money this time. Of course that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop being a petty...witch, its what my fans want! You wouldn’t believe the following I got on social media from last season. You would think my antics with Lauren and Claire would’ve been a major turn off for fans, but turns out they just live for the drama! Now because I spent all of last season terrorizing their relationship, I’ve gained like 6 million followers! Its insane!” Daisy exclaims.

“I believe that’s it for returning contestants, which means it is time to introduce you all to some NEW contestants!” Sam says. “Oh dear…” Bo says. “First up is actually someone who found fame before coming on to Total Yeller Mania, I’d like to introduce you all to the world famous rapper, Gangster Goo!” Sam announces. Gangster Goo steps off of the bus. “Yo, yo, yo fam I am here to play, if I were all of you I wouldn’t bother to stay!” Gangster Goo says. “Wait, isn’t that Queen Goo?” Claire asks. “NO! I’m not Queen Goo, I don’t even know what a Queen Goo is!” Gangster Goo claims. “Oh come on people, if this was Queen Goo, why would she use an assumed name to come on to the show?” Sam asks. “I don’t know, maybe because I have a restraining order against her?” Cop suggests. “Oh, I guess that would be a pretty good reason. Don’t worry though, this can’t be Queen Goo! We hire only the best to vet our new contestants and we would never allow something like that to happen!” Sam claims. “Why am I not convinced?” Yeller asks. “On the topic of Queen Goo, our final contestant is actually Queen Goo’s COUSIN! I would like you all to give an extra special welcome to our newest contestant, Mia Goo!” Sam says. Mia Goo steps off of the bus wearing a fur coat. “Oh thank you, THANK YOU! It is so nice to feel welcomed!” Mia says. “Isn’t she a wanted criminal?” Daisy asks. “And what about it?” Mia questions. “Again, we hire only the best people to vet our new contestants. The very best, like no one ever was.” Sam says. “To catch them is my real test-” Chimney Man says. “Please stop.” Disk urges. “And there we have it, the fourteen contestants that will be competing this season! Now that that’s out of the way, its time to divide you all into teams. Daisy, Claire, Chimney Man, Dun Dun, Leafy Fan, Cop, and Gangster Goo, you will all be on the team known as the Devious Divas.” Sam says. “I’m not devious!” Claire says. “And Dun Dun no diva!” Dun Dun adds. “Moving on. Kooky, Mia, Lauren, Yeller, Bo, Grandma, and Disk, you will all be on the team known as the Overbearing Producers!” Sam announces. “What a lovely team!” Mia claims. “I’m glad you think so…” Lauren says. “Excuse me, Sam! Can we talk real quick?” Claire asks. “What is it?” Sam asks. “I couldn’t help but notice that Lauren and I seem to be on different teams. Any chance I could possibly switch with someone on her team to remedy this unfortunate oversight?” Claire asks. “Sorry Claire, no switching. Also, there was no oversight.” Sam says. Lauren walks over to Claire. “Don’t worry about it. We survived Daisy last season, we can survive this.” Lauren says. “Easy for you to say. I’m stuck with Daisy on my team.” Claire points out. “Have you seen my team? I wouldn’t say I won the lottery where teammates are concerned.” Lauren says. “Sam, I’m not sure I feel comfortable being on the same team as this Gangster Goo character.” Cop says. “And I’m not sure I care. Now that that’s out of the way, lets review what this season will be about. As you can all see, we are competing on an abandoned film set. This season, each challenge will be styled after various movie genres and themes. Only one team can win a challenge, the other team will have to attend the elimination ceremony where the audience will vote off a member of their team. Any questions?” Sam asks. “Will we be eating lunch soon?” Chimney Man questions. “None at all? Perfect. Its time to begin our first challenge!” Sam says.

Sam leads the fourteen contestants onto an old western set. “What is this DUMP?!” Yeller asks. “This here is the old wild west, partner!” Sam says, in a southern accent. “Please do not ever do that again.” Bo says. “Why? His southern accent is about as real as your british accent!” Grandma snarks. Everyone begins laughing. “Stop this foolery at ONCE!” Bo demands. “For once I have to agree with the phony brit.” Sam says. “I am not a phony!” Bo claims. “Sure Jan. Anyways, its time to clue you all in on what the first challenge is gonna be. Picture this...you’re in the old wild west. Our town residents, the overbearing producers, have recently invented an innovative new device called the television. They keep the television at the local bar where they all gather to watch it. But, bandits from another town, we’ll call them the devious divas, find out about this majestic piece of machinery and want to steal it for themselves! So they come into the town with the plan of killing the town folk and taking the television for themselves. How do our citizens fight back? They grab their weapons and plan to kill the bandits!” Sam says. “I’ve got a question. Will there be actual killin? ‘Cause Gangster Goo ain’t about that life.” Gangster Goo says. “No there won’t be actual killing, the producers said no unfortunately, and I’m not talking about the overbearing producers! Man, this could get confusing. Anyways, each team will be using paintball guns. Painful, yes, but not necessarily deadly.” Sam says. “They can be if you shoot in just the right place”.” Lauren says, while looking at Daisy. “Riiiiiiiiiight. Anyways, first team to be left with no players loses. Does everyone understand?” Sam asks. “According to my probation, I’m not legally allowed to be doing this.” Kooky says. “Then you better hope you win the million dollars so you can afford a good lawyer!” Sam says. “So how are we supposed to win this challenge?” Yeller questions. “It simple. Dun Dun shoot everyone and Dun Dun win million dollar.” Dun Dun says. “Dun Dun is sort of right. Whichever team is wiped out first loses the challenge and will be sending someone home.” Sam tells them. “I have a question! Does Leafy get a gun?” Leafy Fan asks. “NO! Now that that’s settled, Producers, I’m gonna need you to head over to the bar set. Divas, I’m gonna need you to head to the outskirts of the wild west set and wait for your cue to move in on the other team.” Sam says.

Yeller, Bo, Kooky, Mia, Lauren, Grandma, and Disk all walk into the bar set and Yeller approaches an old looking TV. “This thing is supposed to be a TV? Its tiny!” Yeller says. “That’s how television used to look when I was a young boy.” Bo reveals. “When I was a young girl, we didn’t have TV. If we wanted entertainment, we’d pick a fight with the neighbors!” Grandma says. Yeller looks around. “Where’s the TV remote?” Yeller questions. “Try the buttons on the television, dear boy.” Bo urges. “It has BUTTONS? Woah, that’s wild.” Yeller says. Yeller turns on the TV and an episode of ‘Fantastic’ comes on, featuring Lucas Cambino and Dannie Goo. “Oooooh, is this the one where Dannie’s car blows up?” Yeller asks. “Wasn’t that, like, two centuries ago?” Disk asks. Yeller shrugs. “Shhhh! I’m trying to watch this!” Bo states. Everyone turns their attention to the TV.

“Does Julia know about these dreams you’ve been having?” Dannie questions. Lucas shakes his head. “No, I haven’t told her.” Lucas admits. “You can’t keep her in the dark, Lucas! You have to be honest with her!” Dannie tells him. “I know I should be, but I feel like if I tell Julia the truth its just going to make things worse. She knows Lydia was a huge reason why I was reluctant to commit in the beginning, if she finds out that I’ve been having dreams about her she might decide to just end things for good!” Lucas says. “But do you really think keeping Julia in the dark about these dreams is really fair to her? She has a right to know.” Dannie notes.

Suddenly, Mia smashes the TV with a baseball bat! “What the heck did you do that for?! It was just getting good!” Kooky shouts. “I-I don’t know what came over me! When I saw that Lucas character, I just got so angry! Almost like I knew him in some other life!” Mia says. “He’s a TV character.” Lauren points out. “Stop lying! He’s REAL! EVERYONE ON THAT SHOW IS! Especially that dream boat Dylan Stanpatos.” Grandma says. “Wasn’t he on this show before?” Disk asks. “Dylan Stanpatos? Nope, can’t say that he was.” Lauren says. “I’ve been on this show every season and I can tell you for certain that there has never been a contestant named Dylan.” Yeller says. Sam walks into the bar. “What happened to my TV?” Sam asks. Everyone points at Mia. “She did it!” Everyone says. Sam sighs. “Man-Shark, we need a new TV!” Sam calls out. Man-Shark walks in, shoves the old TV onto the floor, and then puts a new one in its place. Man-Shark then glares at Mia before walking out. “Just a heads up, the divas will be coming soon, so make sure you are on high alert and have your weapons ready.” Sam says. Mia holds up her baseball bat. “Oh, I’m ready!” Mia says. “You aren’t using that.” Sam says. “Why not?!” Mia questions. “Because you could bash someone’s skull in with that thing!” Sam notes. “I know! That’s the whole point!” Mia says. “Look, someone dying on camera might be good for the ratings but I don’t think our lawyers would agree, so lets stick to the paintball guns.” Sam says. Mia rolls her eyes. “Fine!” Mia says. Yeller pulls out a box from underneath the bar. “I think I found our weapons.” Yeller says.

On the outskirts of the wild west set, Claire, Daisy, Dun Dun, Cop, Gangster Goo, Chimney Man, and Leafy Fan are standing around. “Are we just going to stand here all day or will the challenge be starting sometime soon?” Daisy wonders. “If it bothers you, you could always quit.” Claire suggests. “Nice try, but I am winning that million dollars this time!” Daisy says. “No, Dun Dun winning! She got cheated last time so it everyone else turn to be cheated!!!” Dun Dun says. “Haven’t yall ever heard the expression cheat, cheat, never beat?” Gangster Goo asks. “OMG, no one is talking about cheating, Gangster Granny! Go back to Bingo night at the nursing home!” Claire tells her. “I used to sneak into bingo night at the nursing home! Eventually they caught on that I wasn’t an old lady so I had to start dressing like one.” Chimney Man says. “Literally no one cares.” Cop says. Sam walks over to them. “Hello divas! Ready to go and kill a bunch of producers?” Sam asks. “Sounds like the dream of every actor.” Claire says. “Not just actors, TV hosts too! But enough about that.” Sam says, as he drops a box on the ground. “That box contains a paintball gun for each of you.” Sam says. Daisy opens the box and pulls all of the guns out. “Wait, there are six paintball guns and seven of us!” Daisy notes. “The producers didn’t trust Dun Dun with a gun even though it just shoots paint. Quite frankly, neither do I.” Sam says. “WHAT?!?!” Dun Dun asks. “What about the stupid clown on probation? Don’t tell me he gets a gun but Dun Dun doesn’t!” Claire says. “No, we trust him.” Sam says. “And how about that crazy old lady Mia Goo?” Daisy wonders. “We have the upmost confidence she’ll behave herself.” Sam claims. “What about Grandma? I never did trust her.” Cop says. “We’d trust her with our lives!” Sam says. “That’s reassuring…” Claire mutters. “On that note, its time to begin the game!” Sam says. Dun Dun sits on the ground. “NO! If Dun Dun no get gun gun, Dun Dun going on STRIKE!” Dun Dun declares. Daisy rolls her eyes. “What a DIVA.” Claire says. “That is our team name.” Cop notes. “Fine, be that way! Sit here, get shot, see if we care!” Daisy says. “Dun Dun think she do just that!” Dun Dun says. “While Dun Dun is sitting here pouting, the rest of you should probably head out.” Sam says. Claire turns towards Dun Dun. “If we lose this challenge, I hope the audience votes you out!” Claire shouts. Dun Dun sticks her tongue out at Claire. “Come on, people! We don’t have any time to waste!” Cop says, as he begins walking onto the wild west set with Claire, Daisy, Gangster Goo, Chimney Man, and Leafy Fan following him.

Inside the bar set, Yeller is looking through the bottles of alcohol. “They’re all empty!” Yeller realizes. “This IS just a set, after all…” Bo notes. “You ain’t old enough to drink anyway!” Grandma says. “Yes I am!” Yeller argues. “Oh yeah? How old are you?!” Grandma asks. “I’m...wait, how old AM I?” Yeller wonders. “As fascinating as this conversation is, we should probably be on the lookout for the other team. They could be arriving any second.” Lauren says. Mia holds up the baseball bat. “I’m reeeeeeeeady!” Mia sings. Bo takes the baseball bat from Mia. “Mia, NO! We must use the paintball gun! Per Sam’s orders!” Bo says. “Why must you be such a negative nellie? No wonder my cousin Molly preferred Cop over you!” Mia says. “So if the other team is coming, shouldn’t we, like, I don’t know, be guarding the front door or something?” Disk asks. “Some of us should be, some of us should keep an eye on the windows. We don’t know where they will be coming from.” Lauren says. “Oh come on! As if any member of that team is smart enough to do anything other than come through the front door!” Yeller says, while laughing. “My girlfriend is on that team!” Lauren points out. “And she’s one of the stupidest, so we should be in good shape.” Yeller says. “Its really taking everything in me right now not to just shoot you.” Lauren says. “Shoot me, and you shoot the smartest member of your team!” Yeller says. Someone knocks on the door. “Pizza delivery!” Someone calls out. “Oh boy, pizza!” Yeller exclaims. Yeller walks over to the door, opens it, and is immediately shot by Chimney Man!

LAUREN’S CONFESSIONAL: “I could’ve stopped Yeller from opening that door, but also, I REALLY wanted to see him get shot.” Lauren says.

Lauren aims her paintball gun towards the door. “GET DOWN!” Lauren shouts at her teammates. Lauren fires a shot at Chimney Man but he manages to duck out of sight. Suddenly, the windows shatter when the other members of Chimney Man’s team begin firing from outside. Lauren, Mia, Bo, Grandma, Disk, and Kooky all duck behind the bar. “What are we supposed to do now?!” Bo wonders. Yeller can be seen crying on the floor from being shot. “WILL YOU SHUT THE (CENSORED) UP?! I’M TRYING TO (CENSORED) THINK!” Kooky screams. Everyone looks at Kooky. “Uh, I mean. Don’t cry, my friend, everything will be just fine and dandy!” Kooky says. “Where’s my baseball bat?!” Mia wonders. “You aren’t using the bloody baseball bat!” Bo tells her. Mia grabs the baseball bat and swings at Bo, knocking him out! “Whoopsie!” Mia says. “So far the Producers are down two teammates and the Divas are down none!” Sam can be heard saying over an intercom. “Screw this! I’m going in!” Kooky announces. Kooky pokes his head up from behind the bar and begins firing out the window. In the process, Kooky ends up hitting Leafy! “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Leafy Fan screams. “Did we win?” Mia asks. “No! Ronald McDonald over here accidentally hit a leaf instead of a member of the other team!” Lauren says. Leafy Fan stands in front of the window. “Shoot me, I surrender! I can’t go on without my leafy!” Leafy Fan sobs. “Okay.” Kooky says, before shooting Leafy Fan. Suddenly, Claire runs into the building and Lauren shoots her! “Ow! Babe, you shot me!” Claire whines. “I didn’t know it was you! I heard someone coming and my first instinct was to shoot!” Lauren says. “Would you have not shot me if you knew it was me?” Claire wonders. “I mean...I do kinda want that million dollars and it is only paint…” Lauren notes. “Hey! Stop screwing around and get over here and help us!” Kooky shouts. “Sorry, I gotta go. I’ve got a clown to kill. You gonna be okay?” Lauren asks. “I guess…” Claire says. Lauren turns towards her team. “Listen you dumb clown…” Lauren begins to say, before Kooky and Mia are both shot! “I’ve been hit! YOU FOOLS! I’LL KILL ALL OF YOU! EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!” Mia shouts. “Ah (CENSORED)!” Kooky screams. Lauren ducks behind the bar where Disk and Grandma are hiding. “Alright, we need a strategy. They are trying to keep a safe distance by avoiding coming into the building.” Lauren says. “No crap, Sherlock! How are we supposed to top that?” Disk asks. “Did Sam give us any paint grenades?” Grandma wonders. “If he did, we should just use them on ourselves because this team SUCKS!” Disk shouts. “Why must you be so negative?!” Grandma asks. “Why must you be so old?!” Disk asks. “While you two are busy going back and forth like a couple of four year olds, I’m going to get out there and actually get us that win.” Lauren says. “She’s right, we need to focus! So what’s the plan kid?” Grandma asks. “You and Disk need to keep up fire from in here and distract them. I’m going to sneak outside and try to get the drop on them without anyone noticing. Do you two think you can manage that?” Lauren asks. “I guess…” Disk mutters. Lauren glares at Disk. “I mean, YES! ABSOLUTELY! GO TEAM!” Disk exclaims. “Glad we’re on the same page.” Lauren says. “So...when do we start?” Disk wonders. “Um, now preferably?” Lauren says. “I better not get a scratch from all this…” Disk says. Disk and Grandma begin firing out the window as Lauren crawls on the floor towards the backdoor, remaining out of sight.

As Gangster Goo and Cop are shooting into the bar, Daisy is standing in the back filing her nails. “Yo flower girl, you gonna come lend us a hand or what?” Gangster Goo questions. “Why bother when you two are doing such a bang up job?” Daisy asks. “We’re already down one teammate, two if you count Dun Dun sitting on the ground.” Cop points out. “And they’re down three! No sense in me stepping in and ruining your winning streak!” Daisy says.

COP’S CONFESSIONAL: “If we were back in Littlebridge, I’d trump up some phony charges against that girl. Maybe get her tossed in jail for murdering or eating people, you know, something that’ll keep her there long enough to make her think about what she’s done.” Cop says.

Gangster Goo fires a shot into the bar and hits Disk! “Ow! What did I say about not getting any scratches?! LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE!” Disk yells. Cop looks around. “Hey, where did the chimney guy go?” Cop wonders. Meanwhile, Chimney Man walks into the bar. “Excuse me, are you guys open?” Chimney Man asks. Grandma pops up from behind the bar and shoots him! “Ow! All I wanted was a soda!” Chimney Man cries. Cop then manages to shoot Grandma before she can duck back behind the bar. “My shoulder! I think I’ve dislocated my shoulder!” Grandma shouts. Cop and Gangster Goo high five. “Yay! Go team!” Daisy says. “UPDATE! The Divas have four teammates left while the Producers only have one teammate left!” Sam announces over the intercom. “You heard the man! Go find Lauren so we can win that immunity! Woo!” Daisy cheers. “How about YOU go look for her?!” Cop asks. “I would, but I just did my nails.” Daisy says. Gangster Goo rolls her eyes. Suddenly, two shots are fired and both Gangster Goo and Cop are hit! “That just ain’t cool…” Gangster Goo mutters. Daisy turns and sees Lauren pointing a gun at her. Daisy fakes a smile. “Lauren! How lovely to see you again! Did you miss me?” Daisy asks. “I missed you like I missed a root canal.” Lauren says, before shooting Daisy! “That really hurt!” Daisy complains. “Just be grateful you’re still able to feel pain.” Lauren says. Sam walks up to Lauren. “So I guess that means we win?” Lauren asks. “Wrong! There is still one person left.” Sam reveals. Lauren looks around. “I...don’t see anyone.” Lauren notes. “That’s because she’s currently sitting outside the wild west set on strike.” Sam says.

Dun Dun is still sitting on the ground with her arms crossed when Lauren walks up to her. “Hello Dun Dun.” Lauren says. “Hello Laura.” Dun Dun says. “Its Lauren.” Lauren corrects her. “Well Dun Dun decide your new name LAURA!” Dun Dun shouts. “Riiiiight. So hey, listen, I don’t really like shooting people when they don’t fight back, so if I’m gonna win this, I’d at least like it if you would run, you know, so it feels like I put in a little effort.” Lauren tells her. “Is Laura stupid? What part of Dun Dun on strike do she no understand?!” Dun Dun asks. Lauren hands Dun Dun a gun. “Okay, here you go! Now you have a gun! Now I can shoot you and win without feeling like I cheated!” Lauren says. “Dun Dun no falling for you tricks! She still on strike!” Dun Dun says. “Fine, have it your way.” Lauren says. Lauren fires at Dun Dun, but the paintball hits Dun Dun’s gun and fires back at Lauren, hitting her! “Are you freaking kidding me…” Lauren mutters. Sam walks up to the two. “And Dun Dun scores a win for the Devious Divas!” Sam announces. “That what you get for thinking you any match for Dun Dun!” Dun Dun says. “Since the Overbearing Producers lost, that means they will be the first team to send someone home!” Sam announces.

DUN DUN’S CONFESSIONAL: “Dun Dun would like to think she trendsetter. Dun Dun have good grammar, everyone else start having good grammar. Dun Dun sit around and do nothing and end up winning challenge, everyone else gonna start to sit around and do nothing to win challenge! It the power of Dun, it too strong to fight. You cannot fight Dun.” Dun Dun says.

Sam is standing in the middle of the film lot. “And that concludes our first episode. With the Overbearing Producers losing, that means the people up for elimination are Lauren, Yeller, Bo, Grandma, Disk, Mia, and Kooky! Who will be the first to go home? Only the audience gets to decide that! So be sure to DM our producer, qg2004, and I will see you all next week on Total...Yeller...Mania...Director’s Cut!” Sam says.