Episode 13: The Un-Amazing Race

Sam is standing in the middle of the film lot. “Previously on Total Yeller Mania: Director’s Cut! We started the episode with our last elimination ceremony of the season. With Daisy winning immunity previously, that meant Bo, Grandma, and Chimney Man were at risk of being eliminated, but in the end, Bo was the one who got sent home, much to Grandma’s delight. With Bo out of the game, that left Daisy, Grandma, and Chimney Man as our final 3! What was the challenge that would decide who would make it into the final 2, you ask? Simple! I would spin a wheel with a picture of all the previous contestants who competed this season. Whoever the wheel landed on would then ask the contestant who’s turn it was a question. If the contestant got it wrong, they would have to do a dare also from the eliminated contestant. The three semi finalists held there own for a bit there, but in the end, Grandma got eliminated, and it was all thanks to her son Bo! If that wasn’t poetic justice, I don’t know what is! Anyways, with Grandma gone, Daisy and Chimney Man remain! With just two contestants left, we are finally going to get the answer to the question we’ve had since episode 1, just who is going to win the one million dollar prize? Find out in the exciting finale of Total...Yeller...Mania...Director’s Cut!” Sam says.

In the cafeteria, Chimney Man is eating his breakfast when Daisy walks in. “It is SO quiet without all of those other idiots. Who knew how great it would be to be in the final 2? I mean, obviously I knew, because I’m just a challenge away from being a millionaire, but I hadn’t realized all of the other perks that come with it! No more listening to Grandma berate Bo, we don’t have to listen to Kooky going on a rampage because his eggs were cooked 7 seconds more than he would have liked them to have been, and no having to slap Dun Dun’s hand away every time she would try to steal my wallet! This is so AMAZING!” Daisy exclaims. “I’m really happy for you! I hope you win!” Chimney Man says. “I hope I win too...wait, what?!” Daisy asks. “Then you can split the money with me and everyone wins!” Chimney Man exclaims. “……………..I’M NOT SPLITTING MY WINNINGS WITH YOU!” Daisy screams. “Why not?” Chimney Man asks. “Because 500 grand cannot buy nearly as much as one million! Just think of how much I could do with that kind of money! I could buy the Fantastic police department and then I’d never have to worry about going to jail again! I’d be the one putting people in jail! Anyone I want! If someone so much as chews their food in a way I don’t like, I’ll lock them up for the rest of their putrid little life!” Daisy says. “...I was just gonna use my money to build a giant chimney.” Chimney Man says. Sam walks in. “Good morning cast!” Sam says. “Good morning indeed.” Daisy agrees. “Someone is awfully perky this morning.” Sam notes. “I always feel that way when I am about to win a million dollars, Sam.” Daisy says. “Lets not get too excited, you still haven’t won!” Sam points out. “No, but I will. So tell me, what do I have to do in order to take care of the unfortunate technicality of me not yet being the winner.” Daisy says. “In order to win the million dollar prize, you have to...win a race!” Sam announces. “That sounds like fun!” Chimney Man exclaims. “Wait, what does that have to do with movie themes?” Daisy asks. “Plenty of movies have car racing in them!” Sam says. “Sorry Daisy, but you can’t compete with me in this one. I was once driving in a school zone and I went 10mph!” Chimney Man brags. “Wow, you’re a real speed demon.” Daisy sarcastically says. “Quick question Sam, will you be providing safety equipment? If we’re gonna be driving fast cars, we should have on helmets!” Chimney Man says. “No you will not be getting safety equipment, but you WILL be getting two helpers each!” Sam tells them. “Helpers? What could they possibly do to help us win a race?” Daisy asks. “We’ll get to that! Before we do, let me explain who your helpers will be! You will each have the pleasure of getting help from two eliminated contestants! Isn’t that great?” Sam asks. “No! They were eliminated for a reason!” Daisy points out. “I pick Leafy Fan and Dun Dun!” Chimney Man says. “Slow down Chimney Man, no one is picking their helpers.” Sam says. “So then how are they decided?” Daisy asks. “I’ve got a solution for that! Man-Shark, bring it in!” Sam calls out. No response. Sam sighs. “I have to do everything myself...hang on real quick.” Sam says, before running out of the cafeteria. A moment later, Sam rolls in a slot machine. “No fair! I haven’t even won the money yet and you’re already gonna make me gamble it away!” Chimney Man says. “It isn’t for gambling. Both of you get two uses of the machine. Each time, the machine will land on the face of a previous contestant that competed in Total Yeller Mania: Director’s Cut and they will be brought here to assist you in the final road block between you and your grand prize. Now without any further delay, lets get this party started!” Sam exclaims. Daisy pushes Chimney Man out of the way. “Ladies first.” Daisy says. Daisy pulls the lever on the slot machine and it begins spinning. Moments later, all three slots land on Dun Dun’s face! “Oh come on…” Daisy mutters. “Daisy’s first helper is none other than Dun Dun! Come on out, Dun Dun!” Sam shouts. “Ow! OW!” A voice can be heard yelling. Dun Dun shoots out of the opening in the slot machine and flies into the wall. “Oh no Dun Dun…” Dun Dun says. “No time to nap Dun Dun, there’s work to be done! You’ve been selected to help one of our finalists win the million!” Sam reveals. “Dun Dun help Chimney Guy?” Dun Dun asks. “Nope! You’ll be helping Daisy!” Sam says. Dun Dun shoots a death glare at Daisy. “This isn’t fair! She hates me!” Daisy points out. “That very true!” Dun Dun confirms. “Guess you two better learn to work together then! Oh come on Daisy, lighten up! It isn’t so bad! You still got one more helper! Who will it be? I’m shaking with anticipation!” Sam says. “Oh shut up.” Daisy says. “Don’t tell Pam to shut up!” Dun Dun says. “Oh please, you don’t even like him!” Daisy points out. “Dun Dun no like you more!” Dun Dun says. Daisy rolls her eyes and pulls the lever again. The slots begin spinning again and each of them lands on Lauren’s face. “Of COURSE!” Daisy yells. Lauren flies out of the slot machine, flies at the wall, but then uses her feet to jump off the wall and lunge at Sam. Lauren tackles Sam to the ground and wraps her hands around his throat. “If you ever stuff me in one of those things again, I’ll rip whatever you use for a heart out of your chest and feed it to a lion!” Lauren warns. “Duly...noted. Now can you please...get off me?” Sam asks. Lauren punches Sam, stands up, and dusts herself off. “Wow, I cannot believe the great Lauren actually got bested by Sam of all people!” Daisy says. “Only because he tranquilized me. What am I doing here?” Lauren asks. “Didn’t you hear? You’re going to help me win a million dollars!” Daisy exclaims. Lauren turns towards Sam, who is trying to get off the floor. “You better tell me she’s joking.” Lauren says. “She’s...she’s telling the truth…” Sam says. Lauren kicks Sam in the stomach and Sam falls back to the floor. “Chimney Man...you...you’re up…” Sam says. “Oh boy! I wonder who I’m gonna get!” Chimney Man says, as he walks up to the machine. Chimney Man pulls the lever and the slots begin spinning. Each of the slots land on Kooky’s face. “Oooooooooh, I got a clown!” Chimney Man exclaims. Kooky shoots out of the machine. Lauren and Dun Dun step aside and Kooky ends up flying into the wall. Kooky immediately jumps to his feet. “Who the (CENSORED) put me in that box?! I WANT A NAME!” Kooky screams. Chimney Man runs up to Kooky. “Hi bozo!” Chimney Man exclaims. “I don’t know who put me in the box, but I know who I’m putting in a box next…” Kooky says. “Don’t be like that bozo, not when you’re gonna be my helper!” Chimney Man says. “Your what?! SAM! I got eliminated from this stupid game fair and square, what the heck am I doing back?!” Kooky asks. “You’ll be helping Chimney Man win a million dollars!” Sam says. “You’re kidding! I have to help this idiot? The guy can probably barely even dress himself on his own, there ain’t much I can do to help him!” Kooky says. Chimney Man begins laughing. “Oh man, you’re such a funny guy bozo!” Chimney Man says. “Call me bozo again and I’ll show you the punchline, specifically the PUNCH!” Kooky warns. “Why don’t I remember the dumb clown being this likable before?” Lauren asks. “Go ahead and pick your final helper, Chimney Man.” Sam says. Chimney Man walks up to the machine but Kooky pushes him out of the way! “Move it or lose it, brick head! You ain’t gonna do it right!” Kooky yells. Kooky pulls the lever and all of the slots land on Bo’s face. “Well that worked out really well.” Lauren sarcastically says. Bo shoots out of the machine, hits the wall, and goes right through the wall! “Guess that’s what happens when too many people hit the wall.” Sam says. Bo climbs in through the hole. “Ouch...that really hurt.” Bo says. “Oh suck it down old bald man!” Dun Dun says. “I think you mean suck it up.” Lauren says. “Dun Dun think she mean SUCK IT DOWN!” Dun Dun yells. “Chimney Man, Daisy, Dun Dun, Lauren, Kooky, and Bo, the gang is all here! Lets head to the setting of our final challenge.” Sam says.

Sam, Chimney Man, Daisy, Dun Dun, Lauren, Kooky, and Bo all arrive in a city setting. “Where are we?” Daisy asks. “I recognize the area...we’re in Littlebridge!” Bo realizes. “Very good, Bo! We thought about building our own little racing set at the film lot, but then I figured racing through a city would be much funner.” Sam says. “Quick question, do you have permission from the city to be racing through its streets?” Daisy asks. “We’ll be fine! Or I should say YOU’LL be fine.” Sam says. “So what are WE doing here?” Lauren asks. “I told you! You four are gonna be the helpers!” Sam says. “Yes, but how?” Bo questions. “Chimney Man and Daisy will both be driving go karts, there is a spot on the back of the go kart where the helpers will be able to stand. The helper’s job is to sabotage the other finalist whenever possible. Throwing things at them, shooting them with a paintball gun, all sorts of fun stuff!” Sam says. “You expect us to stand on the back of a go kart as these two are speeding through busy streets?” Bo asks. “I better be getting hazard pay for this nonsense!” Kooky says. “You aren’t getting any pay!” Sam exclaims. “Alright, well I guess we better get this over with.” Daisy says. “May the best person win!” Chimney Man says. “Yeah, sure, whatever.” Daisy says, before getting into her go kart. “Get on ladies!” Daisy shouts. “Do we really have to help her?” Lauren asks. “Its strongly encouraged.” Sam says. “Dun Dun discourage it...strongly.” Dun Dun says. Dun Dun and Lauren climb onto the back of Daisy’s go kart. Chimney Man gets into his go kart. “Lets do this, team!” Chimney Man exclaims. Bo and Kooky get on the back of Chimney Man’s go kart. “Okay, I’m gonna count down from 3 and then you can start. 3…” Before Sam can finish, Chimney Man and Daisy speed off. Before Daisy gets far, she hears her tires pop and she spins out of control! “Are you kidding me?! Why kind of faulty tires did you give me?!” Daisy asks. Sam walks over to where Daisy’s go kart was parked and picks up some nails. “I don’t think there was anything wrong with the tires…” Sam says. “Someone popped my tires?! Who would do such a thing?!” Daisy asks. “You should ask who wouldn’t, you’d have a shorter list.” Lauren notes. “It was YOU, wasn’t it?!” Daisy asks. “How DARE you try to give someone else credit for Dun Dun work!” Dun Dun yells. “So YOU did this?!” Daisy asks. “...whatever give Rose that idea?” Dun Dun asks. “You JUST admitted it!” Daisy points out. “Dun Dun do no such thing!” Dun Dun yells. “Whatever! Sam, what can I do about these messed up tires?” Daisy asks. “I provided you with spares, they’re in the kart.” Sam says. “Replacing them could take forever!” Daisy notes. “Or you could just sit here and wait for Chimney Man to come back around and win the million dollars. Its up to you.” Sam says. Daisy sighs. “Well I guess I better get to work then…” Daisy says.

Chimney Man is driving through downtown Littlebridge when Sam contacts him through the radio. “Chimney Man, just letting you know that Daisy is having some car trouble, which means you have a sizable lead over her!” Sam says. “Well done, Chimney Man!” Bo says. “Cool!” Chimney Man exclaims, before pulling over. “What the [CENSORED] are you doing?!” Kooky questions. “Since Daisy is so far behind, I might as well stop for lunch!” Chimney Man says. “Don’t do that, you MORON! SHE’LL GET IN FRONT OF YOU!” Kooky yells. “Don’t worry, I’ll be in and out!” Chimney Man says, before getting out of the kart and walking into a restaurant. “IDIOT!” Kooky screams. “No reason to fret, I’m certain Chimney Man will be right out.” Bo says.

1 Hour Later…

Bo and Kooky are sitting on the curb of the sidewalk waiting. “So...read any good books, lately?” Bo asks. “Don’t make small talk with me, pal. I like you about as much as you like me!” Kooky says. Kooky and Bo notice Daisy’s car speeding by. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?! She just took the lead!” Kooky yells. Chimney Man comes out of the restaurant. “Man I am stuffed. You wouldn’t believe the menu at this place! I got myself some loaded potatoes for an appetizer, a lobster dinner with fries on the side, and then homemade apple cinnamon pie for dessert! It doesn’t get much better than that! Best food I’ve ever had! Oh...uh...I hope you guys didn’t...you know...want anything.” Chimney Man says. “WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR [CENSORED] THANKSGIVING FEAST?! DAISY GOT IN FRONT OF YOU!” Kooky screams. “Aw man, I was really looking forward to winning that million. Oh well. No use in crying over spilled milk, or spilled booze if we’re talking about what I had with my dinner.” Chimney Man says. “Chimney Man, you cannot simply give up! There is still time to take the lead!” Bo says. “You think so, Bo?” Chimney Man asks. “I know so! We cannot allow evil to prevail!” Bo says. “You’re right!” Chimney Man says. “Does that mean we’ve gotta keep going with this dumb race?” Kooky asks. “Oh calm yourself, you’ll be just fine.” Bo says. Bo and Kooky get on the back of the go kart as Chimney Man speeds away.

Daisy is driving on a road by the waterfront, Lauren and Dun Dun still sitting on the tailgate of the go kart. “I cannot believe we actually got back in front of them! I wonder why they were sitting on the side of the road? I didn’t notice Chimney Man anywhere.” Daisy notes. “He probably felt comfortable taking a break considering his competition is pretty much non existent.” Lauren says. “Excuse me, but remind me again who is in first place? I’ll give you a slight hint, it isn’t that dolt. I’m in first place now and nothing, I mean NOTHING is going to stand in between me and my prize!” Daisy says. Police sirens can be heard. “Dun Dun think police might have something to say about that.” Dun Dun says. Daisy looks in her rear view mirror and sees a police car coming up behind her. “Seriously?!” Daisy asks. Daisy pulls over her go kart and the cop car pulls up behind her. Cop gets out of the car and walks up to Daisy’s go kart. “Ma’am, you were going 60 miles over the speed limit. Are you aware of that?” Cop asks. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Daisy asks. “Are you also aware that it is illegal to be driving around with people sitting OUTSIDE the car? They are supposed to be inside the car and they are supposed to be secured by a seat belt.” Cop says. “I swear I know you from somewhere…” Daisy says. “Probably just from one of the few dozen times you’ve been arrested.” Lauren says. “It is also illegal to be driving a go kart down a main road in general, so there’s that. You also interrupted my nap under the overpass, which is just not very nice.” Cop says. Cop notices Dun Dun is sitting on the tailgate. “Hi.” Dun Dun says. “Did you also know you are harboring a fugitive?” Cop asks. “Dun Dun no fugitive! She just avoiding law enforcement!” Dun Dun argues. “Now I remember you! You were a contestant on Total Yeller Mania with us! You were on the same team as me, The Devious Divas!” Daisy recalls. “I-I think you’ve got me confused with someone else…” Cop says. “No, pretty sure you are the same guy.” Lauren says. “He is! Cop LYING!” Dun Dun shouts. “Shut up!” Cop demands. Cop turns towards Daisy. “So why are you here in Littlebridge committing all these crimes?” Cop asks. “Its for a challenge. Chimney Man and I made it to the finale so now we’re fighting for the million dollars.” Daisy says. “Total Yeller Mania is here? IN LITTLEBRIDGE?!” Cop asks. “That’s not a problem, is it?” Daisy asks. “Get out of the car! You’re all under arrest!” Cop shouts. “Oh come on! Can’t you just write me a ticket? I’ll be good for it once I win the million dollars! Are you aware that I’m in the lead?” Daisy asks. Chimney Man drives by Daisy. “Hi Daisy!” Chimney Man shouts as he passes her. “Doesn’t look like you are anymore.” Cop says. “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!” Daisy screams. “Step out of the car, ma’am.” Cop says. “I am not going to lose out on my chance to FINALLY win just because some doughnut eating bum with a badge was forced to do some actual work for once! Dun Dun, take care of him!” Daisy demands. “Dun Dun no helping you! When Cop arresting Lilac, Dun Dun gonna sneak off.” Dun Dun says. “I’ll pay you 150 grand when I win if you help me.” Daisy says. Dun Dun jumps off the tailgate and punches Cop in the stomach! Cop collapses and Dun Dun jumps back onto the tailgate. “Drive woman! DRIVE!” Dun Dun yells. “Great, now we’re all fugitives. If you win that million, you’re going to have to put it towards paying our bail.” Lauren says. “Bold of you to assume I’d pay your bail.” Daisy says, before slamming on the gas pedal and flooring it away from Cop.

Meanwhile, Chimney Man is stuck in traffic. “I hope this clears up soon so I can get to the finish line.” Chimney Man says. “Why are we sitting here?! Just push your way through!” Kooky yells. “Because that’d be against the law!” Chimney Man points out. “SCREW THE LAW! YOU CAN BUY THE LAW AFTER YOU WIN THE MILLION BUCKS!” Kooky yells. “Don’t listen to him, Chimney Man. He’s a clown, he doesn’t know anything!” Bo says. “You sayin’ because I’m a clown that means I’m an idiot?!” Kooky asks. “That’s why when someone calls someone a clown, it is usually an insult!” Bo argues. “Oh YEAH?! Well...you’re...you’re...you’re BALD!” Kooky yells. “Being bald is better than what you have for hair! You could fit an elephant inside of that abomination! The worst part is that you could choose to change it because it is a wig but you DON’T!” Bo yells. “That may be, but what about YOU?!” Kooky asks. “What about ME, Kooky?!” Bo questions. “Well you...you’re...you...you’re BALD!” Kooky yells. Bo slaps Kooky. Kooky slaps Bo back. “How dare you!” Bo yells. “How dare YOU!” Kooky yells. “You kids better stop this fighting right now or I’m gonna turn the car right around!” Chimney Man warns. “You do that and you’ll lose any chance you have of winning the one million dollars!” Kooky points out. “Oh...right.” Chimney Man says. “On the plus side, at least we don’t need to worry about Daisy passing us. She is likely to be stuck in this mess as well, at least once she gets this far.” Bo says.

Daisy is driving when she is forced to slam on the brakes once she reaches the traffic jam. “What is this?!” Daisy asks. “They call it traffic, not sure if you’ve heard of it. Its kinda a big deal in cities…” Lauren says. “But this isn’t even a big city!” Daisy says. “Dun Dun no understand why Tulip so upset!” Dun Dun says. “Because Chimney Man is in front of me! This could give him the chance to make it to the finish line and win the money!” Daisy points out. “So no sit in traffic, take back roads!” Dun Dun says. “I don’t know any back roads!” Daisy notes. Dun Dun sighs. “Step to side, Dun Dun taking over.” Dun Dun says. Dun Dun pushes Daisy out of the go kart and sits in the driver’s seat. Daisy then goes and sits on the tailgate with Lauren. “I know you hate me, but try not to push me off.” Daisy says. “Try not to give me a reason to.” Lauren urges. Dun Dun puts the go kart in reverse, hits the car behind her, and then speeds in a different direction.

“You know what I like to do when sitting in traffic?” Chimney Man asks. “Bite on a cyanide pill?” Kooky asks. “No silly! I like to sing some good old fashion car tunes!” Chimney Man says. “Just give me the cyanide pill so I don’t gotta stick around and listen.” Kooky says. “You don’t gotta listen, you’re gonna be singing too! Its going to be a sing along!” Chimney Man exclaims. “Oh dear…” Bo mutters. “Alright, I’ll start. Row row row your boat gently down the stream! EVERYONE!” Chimney Man shouts. The guy stuck behind them in the traffic sticks his head out the window. “Hey buddy, SHUT UP!” The guy yells. Kooky turns back towards him. “Who you tellin to shut up?!” Kooky asks. “Your friend in the front, you dumb clown!” The guy yells. “Oh yeah?!” Kooky asks. “Yeah!” The guy yells. “OH YEAH?!” Kooky asks. “YEAH!” The guy yells. “Hold my seat for me, Bo.” Kooky says. Kooky stands up and the guy gets out of his car. The guy walks towards Kooky but Kooky grabs his throat, shoves him onto the hood of his own car and begins choking him!

Meanwhile, Dun Dun is driving down the sidewalk in the suburbs. “Dun Dun live in this neighborhood.” Dun Dun says. “Why are we driving down the sidewalk?!” Lauren asks. “Because if Dun Dun drive in street she get pulled over again! Dun Dun no going back to jail!” Dun Dun says. Dun Dun hits a fire hydrant and water begins shooting out of the ground. “You just hit a fire hydrant!” Daisy points out. “You think Dun Dun no see? Dun Dun have eyes! Fire hydrant no should been there!” Dun Dun says. Up ahead, a young child is chasing his big bouncy ball down the driveway when Dun Dun nearly runs him over! “You just almost hit a kid!” Daisy points out. “Well why his parent no watching him?!” Dun Dun asks. “Speaking of his parent, you should probably go back and apologize before they call the POLICE!” Daisy yells. “Dandelion right! Dun Dun should go back!” Dun Dun says. Dun Dun puts the go kart in reverse and pulls up next to the kid. Dun Dun steps out of the car, takes his bouncy ball, and pops a hole in it! The kid begins crying uncontrollably. “Get over it! Dun Dun prepare you for life of disappointment!” Dun Dun says, before walking away. Dun Dun gets back into the go kart. “Are you proud of yourself?” Lauren asks. “Dun Dun always proud of herself. If Dun Dun no proud of herself, who will be proud for Dun Dun?” Dun Dun asks. Daisy pushes Dun Dun out of the driver’s seat. “Thanks for the assist, but I think its time I take back over.” Daisy says, before sitting in the driver’s seat. Dun Dun climbs back onto the tail gate. “Fine! But when you lose, don’t come crying to Dun Dun!” Dun Dun yells. “I would never come crying to Dun Dun.” Daisy says, before speeding off.

“Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are.” Chimney Man sings. Kooky gets back onto the tailgate. “That guy won’t be bothering us again.” Kooky says. “Perhaps, but I’m afraid our leader has no intention to stop bothering us.” Bo says. “Oh for cryin’ out loud! You are STILL singing?!” Kooky asks. “Yes sir! While you were beating that guy to a bloody pulp, you missed my dramatic rendition of Ring Around the Rosie! You want me to sing it again?” Chimney Man asks. “NO!” Kooky yells. “Chimney Man, out of curiosity, are you aware that there is no longer traffic in front of us? Or behind us?” Bo asks. Chimney Man looks around and sees there are no cars. “Honestly Bo, I haven’t been paying attention for at least 45 minutes.” Chimney Man says. “GET DRIVING DUMMY!” Kooky screams. Chimney Man slams on the gas pedal and speeds away.

Back at the finish line, Sam is passed out in a lounge chair when he is awoken by an engine roaring in the distance. Sam sighs. “I just finally got asleep…” Sam says. Sam uses a pair of binoculars and sees Chimney Man’s go kart approaching the finish line. “I see Chimney Man and no sign of Daisy! Could we have our victor?” Sam asks. “It doesn’t appear Daisy is at the finish line! Victory is within your grasp, dear boy!” Bo says. Daisy’s go kart barrels out from a side street and slams right into Chimney Man! “No you DON’T! I have come way too far to lose to the likes of YOU!” Daisy screams. Daisy reverses her go kart and then begins speeding towards the finish line. “No!” Chimney Man shouts. Bo pulls a banana peel out and throws it in front of Daisy’s go kart. Daisy drives over it and her kart spins out of control and crashes into a telephone pole! “That was some Mario Kart bull (CENSORED) right there.” Kooky says. “I didn’t actually think that would work! Now Chimney Man! You must hurry!” Bo tells him. “Right!” Chimney Man says. Chimney Man begins driving towards the finish line. Daisy notices and turns towards Dun Dun and Lauren. “Our kart is totaled and Chimney Man is about to pass the finish line! Do something!” Daisy demands. “I don’t see a problem there.” Lauren says. “Dun Dun help you if you pay her 500 thousand if you win.” Dun Dun says. “That’s half the prize money!” Daisy points out. “Dun Dun know, she no stupid!” Dun Dun says. “You know what? Screw you! Both of you! I’ll handle this myself!” Daisy yells. As Chimney Man is just about to pass the finish line, Daisy flies into his go kart and tackles him out of the driver’s seat! The two fall out of the kart and land on the pavement, and Daisy begins choking Chimney Man! “Do you have any idea the trouble I have had to go through to get to this point? I’ve had to listen to Dun Dun constantly screwing up my name, I’ve had to deal with incompetent teammates, I was MAULED by a freaking bear and in a body cast for what felt like eternity, I am NOT going to lose to a loser like you!” Daisy yells. “Hey...I...I’m not a loser!” Chimney Man says. “Oh yes you are! You are and always will be a loser! How embarrassing for you, so close to victory and you’re going to have to go home and face everyone you know after getting SECOND place! I wouldn’t want that to be me.” Daisy says. Lauren bashes Daisy in the back of the head with the steering wheel from her go kart, knocking her out! “Too bad it IS you.” Lauren says. “You...you helped me! But you were her helper!” Chimney Man points out. “That was a flaw in Sam’s plan to pick the helpers. I could NEVER help her.” Lauren says. “Oh trust me, it was NOT a flaw.” Sam says. “You better run, you have a prize to win.” Lauren tells Chimney Man. “Thanks!” Chimney Man says. Chimney Man runs to the finish line and manages to pass it. However, he sees that Dun Dun is already there. “Dun Dun pass finish line first. Do that mean she win prize?” Dun Dun asks Sam. “No it does not seeing as you were not a finalist.” Sam says. “It no fair! Dun Dun want money and she want money NOW!” Dun Dun yells. Sam walks over to Chimney Man. “Congratulations Chimney Man, you passed the finish line first, which means you are the winner of Total Yeller Mania: Director’s Cut!” Sam announces. “I...I did it? I did it!” Chimney Man exclaims. Bo, Kooky, and Lauren begin clapping for him as Dun Dun sulks in the background. Meanwhile, Daisy begins to regain consciousness. “What...what happened?” Daisy asks. “You lost, that’s what happened.” Lauren says. “No…….NO…...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Daisy screams. Sam walks over to Chimney Man holding a briefcase. “Here you go Chimney Man, the one million dollars is ALL yours!” Sam says. “This is the happiest day of my life!” Chimney Man says. Chimney Man takes the briefcase, opens it, and his eyes widen. “Uh...Sam? Where’s the money?” Chimney Man asks. Sam laughs. “That’s a good one!” Sam says. Chimney Man turns the briefcase around and reveals its empty! “Oh crap.” Sam says. Daisy can be heard cracking up laughing. “Where the [CENSORED] is all his money?!” Kooky asks. Sam’s phone begins to ring. “Hang on, its one of the producers.” Sam says. Sam answers the phone. “Yeah?...So you’re watching the feeds then and saw I just gave our winner an empty briefcase?...Uh huh...WHAT?!...Well that certainly explains a lot, doesn’t it?! Yeah, whatever!” Sam says, before hanging up. “What did the producer say?” Bo wonders. “So you remember how I couldn’t find Man-Shark earlier? Well turns out there was a reason for that! The producer just told me he bought a house, a one million dollar house!” Sam says. “No way you pay him that kinda salary.” Lauren says. “I don’t even pay him! Well, I guess you can scratch the prize money for this season.” Sam says. “Can I at least keep the briefcase?” Chimney Man asks. “Yeah, sure.” Sam says. “Then it was all worth it.” Chimney Man says. Dun Dun comes over to Chimney Man and puts a hand on his shoulder. “It okay Chimney Guy, Dun Dun know how you feel. Mister of the Whiskers stole her money last time, now Shark Man did same to you.” Dun Dun says. “How tragic...as much as I’d love to spend more time on how Chimney Man feels utterly broken over not getting the million dollars he was promised, we’ve run out of time! This episode concludes Total Yeller Mania: Director’s Cut! I have been your host, Sam, and we will see you all again next time! As for when that next time will be, I suggest you tune in to the very special NEXT episode to find out!” Sam says. “There’s gonna be another episode?!” Lauren asks. “Ah [CENSORED]!” Kooky shouts.