S3 Episode 12: Ball and Scam

YELLER HOUSEHOLD
*"NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Yeller yells. "Oh come now, son! It could be fun!" Bo says. "Yeah, but it wont be!" Yeller says. "Always so pessimistic, aren't you?" Bo asks. "Okay, obviously, I need to say it to you again since you didn't hear me the first time. I am NOT going to that stupid charity masquerade ball with you!" Yeller says. "But son, all of my former business associates are going to be there! They all expect me to attend!" Bo says. "Okay, so go! I'm not stopping you!" Yeller says. "You are going to come with me, dear boy. Everyone else is bringing a date." Bo says. "So, instead of a date, you are bringing your son? Real cool, Dad. I got an idea. Instead of bringing me, how about we set you up a Tinder account? We can find you a real nice lady to go with you." Yeller says. "I don't need a bloody woman in my life!" Bo yells. "Okay, well, I'm sure we can find you a guy, too." Yeller says. Bo glares at Yeller. "You are coming with me to the ball, and THAT is final!" Bo says. "Do I at least get to choose my own mask?" Yeller asks. "I'm afraid not, dear boy. I simply do not trust you to choose a classy, but also sophisticated mask to wear." Bo says. "Its just a mask, how hard could it be?" Yeller asks. "Do not stress over it, dear boy, I have already chosen your mask." Bo says. Yeller rolls his eyes. "I have to go to this stupid ball, and I cant even choose my own mask? I swear, they better not start throwing big words at me, like collusion, or I might just run amuck and kill everyone! Hope you are ready for a life performance of Friday the 13th, cause I'm about to break out the chainsaw!" Yeller says. "Oh for goodness sakes! Settle down! There wont be any murder tonight, my dear boy. We are going to have a nice, peaceful evening with some dear friends." Bo says. "Oh yeah, its gonna be REAL peaceful being in a room with a bunch of snobs who have probably never ever heard of the words "minimum wage", or "taxes." Yeller says. "You stop that, Yeller! Only Francis dodged his taxes, and he is currently doing life in prison." Bo says. "For cheating on his taxes?" Yeller asks. "Heavens no! They still don't know about THAT. He went to prison for crashing his car into a donut shop. No one was injured, because the shop was closed. However, the police seem very displeased with him. I cant imagine why." Bo says. A moment later, Dun Dun storms in. "This is OUTRAGE!" Dun Dun yells. "Just invite yourself in, my dear. That doorbell out front is just there for show." Bo sarcastically says. "Dun Dun HAD IT! She suing the city! She suing the state! She suing the country! She suing EVERYONE!" Dun Dun screams. "Did you get caught trying to rob the dollar store again?" Yeller asks. "No! And that only happen once!" Dun Dun yells. "Then what seems to be the problem?" Bo asks. "Dun Dun just buy new computer from shady homeless man in alley. It good computer. It only have 26 viruses! Anyway, as Dun Dun was saying. She was browsing the google, when all of sudden, she was notified that she was lucky Facebook customer, and she won free ipad!" Dun Dun says. "Oh no. Don't tell me you actually clicked on it." Yeller says. "Of course Dun Dun click on it! Free stuff her jam! So, they ask for Dun Dun credit card information, she entered Bo's, and then, you know what happen next?! THEY DIDN'T TELL DUN DUN WHEN THEY SHIPPING HER TABLET!" Dun Dun yells. "That's it? You are upset with them not shipping it?" Yeller asks. "Why else would Dun Dun be upset?" Dun Dun asks. "Um, well, I hate to tell you this, but...you ain't getting no tablet." Yeller says.

*A view of Yeller's house from the outside can be seen. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Dun Dun angrily asks.

HOUSE OF DUN
*Leafy Fan is playing chess with Leafy. "Come on, Leafy! Make your move!" Leafy Fan says. Leafy just sits there. "Always strategizing, aren't you Leafy? Its okay, I understand." Leafy Fan says. Dun Dun swings the front door open, and it falls off of the hinges, and falls on Leafy. "NO!" Leafy Fan yells. "You never guess what happen to Dun Dun! She has been SCAMMED!" Dun Dun yells. Leafy Fan runs over to the door, and tries to lift it. "Leafy, speak to me!" Leafy Fan yells. "How dare they make fool out of Dun Dun! Dun Dun give them Bo's credit card number, and THIS how the repay her?! She will get even! She will find person who did this, and make them give Dun Dun free ipad!" Dun Dun yells. "Leafy! Please! Say something if you are down there! Tell me you are alright!" Leafy Fan says, as she continues to try and lift the door up. "If Dun Dun going to find evil scammer man, she going to need help." Dun Dun says. "Someone call 911! Leafy is DYING!" Leafy Fan cries. "Ah! Fookteeka! Leafy Fan has given Dun Dun brilliant idea!" Dun Dun says, before walking out. "Dun Dun! Help me help Leafy before you go! DUN DUN!" Leafy Fan yells.

BACK ALLEY
*Cop is chasing after a guy wearing a mask. "STOP RIGHT THERE!" Cop yells. Cop pulls out his gun, and begins shooting. One of the bullets ricochets off the wall, and a woman can be heard screaming in the background. "Sorry lady!" Cop yells. As Cop continues to chase the bad guy by a dumpster, a foot comes out from behind the dumpster, and trips Cop! Cop falls, and the bad guy gets away. "MY FREE COFFEE PUNCH CARD! NOW I'LL NEVER GET IT BACK!" Cop yells. Cop looks up. "You!" Cop growls. "Hullo Cop, it been long time." Dun Dun says! "We just saw each other yesterday. Remember? The dollar store incident?" Cop asks. "Never mind crimes Dun Dun committed! We need to focus on crime committed against Dun Dun! She has been robbed!" Dun Dun says. Cop checks his watch. "Sorry, cant help you. I just went on break." Cop says. "When break over?" Dun Dun asks. "Well, the rules state that we can only take 30 minute breaks. But, since no one is watching me, I tend to extend it a bit. Like, say....four hours longer. Just in time for my shift to end! It works out great!" Cop says. "Cop, Dun Dun no think that allowed." Dun Dun notes. "And who's gonna stop me? The boss? Ha! That's a good one! That guy hasn't left his office for as long as I've been working at the station! Probably cause with his huge beer belly, he cant fit through the door! The only way to get him off his fat butt is to attach a jelly donut to a string, and-" Before Cop can finish, someone interrupts him. "COP!" A really fat guy yells. Cop turns around, and sees his boss! "Chief Do-Nut!" Cop says. "I heard ya talking smack, son! You got something you need to say?" Do-Nut asks. "No, no sir! I wasn't talking about YOU. I was talking about HER! See, when I'm not working at the station, I do community service for a group dedicated to saving the environment from pollution. She is the head of the group, and she can never be bothered to come and help us out! Its disgusting!" Cop says. "Wait a second, aren't you that lady who stole my wallet the other day?" Do-Nut asks. "Yes." Dun Dun says. "Thanks, kid! I hated that wallet! There was a picture of my wife in there that I couldn't get out! Now thanks to you, I don't have to worry bout it no more!" Do-Nut says. "You welcome, Donut." Dun Dun says. "Its Do-Nut. As in, I didn't DO-NUTtin to nobody, and you cant prove it. Now, what is going on here exactly?" Do-Nut asks. "Dun Dun ask Cop to help her find thief who stole Bo credit card info, and Cop say no!" Dun Dun says. Do-Nut gasps. "Cop, is that true?!" Do-Nut asks. "No, sir! I was gonna help her!" Cop says. "Better get to it, son! You wait too long, you gonna lose the bad guy's scent! In the meantime, I gotta get going. I have a date." Do-Nut says. "With your wife?" Cop asks. "No, you idiot! With her sister. Don't tell no one, bye!" Do-Nut says, before waddling away. "You heard Chief Munckin. You have to help Dun Dun." Dun Dun says. Cop rolls his eyes. "Fine, but you better make this quick. Eight o'clock, beddy bye." Cop says.

YELLER HOUSEHOLD
*Yeller comes downstairs, dressed in a suit, and a mask. "I look ridiculous." Yeller says. "Enough complaining. You look fine. The people at the ball will not even know that you are a lower class citizen!" Bo says. "They also wont know that they are about to have their heads chopped off." Yeller says. Bo chuckles. "Always the comedian, aren't you my boy?" Bo asks. The doorbell rings. "I'm not getting that!" Yeller states. Bo walks over to the door, and opens it to Michael and Vito. "Hello gentlemen! Come in!" Bo says. "Bo! How's it goin? You doin well?" Michael asks. "I'm doing splendid, Michael, my boy!" Bo says. "Are they going too?" Yeller asks. "Heavens no! They have come to babysit Mr. Whiskers!" Bo says. "They did? How long do you plan on staying at that stupid ball?" Yeller asks. "Until it is over." Bo says. "Don't worry, Bo. Vito and I gonna take good care of da cat. Aren't we, Vito?" Michael asks. Vito nods. "Thank you very much for the assistance. I'll be home soon, gentlemen." Bo says. Bo grabs Yeller's arm, and drags him out of the house. Vito goes to pat Mr. Whiskers, but Mr. Whiskers hisses at him.

COFFEE SHOP
*Dun Dun is drinking a cup of coffee, while Cop sits across from her, on a laptop. "Mmmm, this covfefe good." Dun Dun says. "Covfefe isn't a word." Cop says. "Yes it is! My daddy's tweet said so! Dun Dun think it Russian." Dun Dun says. Cop raises his eyebrow. "Wow, I'm good!" Cop says. "Did you find scoundrel who have gall to scam Dun Dun?" Dun Dun asks. "What? No! I beat my high score in Candy Crush!" Cop says. "What that have to do with Dun Dun?!" Dun Dun angrily asks. "Nothing. Not everything is about you! Why do you even want to find this guy? He stole Bo's credit card info, not yours!" Cop says. "IT NOT THE CREDIT CARD THAT BURN DUN DUN UP! THAT MAN TRICK DUN DUN! SHE WANT VENGEANCE!" Dun Dun yells. Cop sighs. "Let me see what I can find out." Cop says. Cop punches in a few keys on his laptop. "Ah ha!" Cop says. "You find evil man already?" Dun Dun asks. "With the power of plot convenience, I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to!" Cop says. "Where is deranged lunatic?" Dun Dun asks. "He is...at a masquerade ball nearby." Cop says. "Dun Dun go deal with him!" Dun Dun says. Dun Dun stands up. "Wait, hold on! You need to be wearing a mask if you want them to let you in." Cop says. "Fine, we go to costume store, and pick mask up on way! Come on, Cop! There is time left to lose!" Dun Dun says, as she drags Cop out.

MASQUERADE BALLROOM
*Bo and Yeller enter the ballroom. "Look at all these lovely people, son!" Bo says. "How do you know they are lovely? They are all wearing masks!" Yeller points out. "Minor detail, son. Come, lets go and mingle!" Bo says. Bo and Yeller walk over to a blond woman, who's back is turned. Bo taps on her shoulder. "Excuse me, madam." Bo says. The woman turns around, and it is Melody Thomas Scott! "Wait a second, aren't you-" Yeller says, before being interrupted. "Don't even say it, young man! I'm not her, nor have I ever been her!" Melody Thomas Scott says. "Do you know this woman, son?" Bo asks. "Yeah, I think she is on The Bold and the Beautiful." Yeller says. "How DARE you suggest that I have had any involvement in that TRASH!" Melody Thomas Scott yells. Melody Thomas Scott slaps Yeller, before storming off. "Would you look at that! We've been here for a mere minute, and you have already made a new friend!" Bo says. "I swear I know that woman from somewhere." Yeller says.

YELLER HOUSEHOLD
*Vito, Michael, and Mr. Whiskers are gathered around a sorry board. "Its your turn, Mr. Whiskers!" Michael says. Mr. Whiskers glares at Michael, before flipping the board over, and walking away. Vito goes to attack Mr. Whiskers, and Michael has to hold him back. "Vito, no! It ain't worth it!" Michael says. Vito starts breathing really fast, while in a fit of rage.

MASQUERADE BALLROOM
*Dun Dun and Cop walk up to the front door. Cop is wearing a Waluigi mask, while Dun Dun is wearing the ghost mask from the movie 'Scream'. "OH MY LORD!" The man at the front door says. "Is there problem with Dun Dun's mask?" Dun Dun asks. "Uh, no! Not in the slightest! The two of you look like you are ready to party!" The man says. "Hey, just curious, but did you happen to con an innocent person out of money by using that whole Facebook scam?" Cop asks. "No." The man says. "Drats! Back to square one! Carry on with your business, and don't leave town!" Cop demands, before he and Dun Dun enter the ballroom.

*Yeller walks over to Melody Thomas Scott. "I know where I've seen you from." Yeller says. "You haven't seen me from anywhere, darling." Melody Thomas Scott says. "You were on The Chew, were you? I knew I recognized you!" Yeller says. Melody Thomas Scott turns towards Yeller. "You realize that you have to die for that, right?" Melody Thomas Scott asks. "What did I say?" Yeller asks. Melody Thomas Scott splashes a drink in Yeller's face, before walking off. "Goodness, the people here are so rude." Yeller says.

*Bo is with another man. "So then, I stole the guy's business, and left him penniless!" The other man says. Bo and the man begin to laugh. "That's a good one, Freddy! You always were a marvelous business man!" Bo says. "Thank you, Bo." Freddy says. Yeller comes over to them. "Hey, how's it hanging?" Yeller asks. "How is it WHAT?!" Freddy asks. "Do you need a q tip? I asked HOW IS IT HANGING!" Yeller screams. "How DARE you use that street language with me, you swine! Bo, old friend, you mustn't allow this behavior! Teach this boy some manners!" Freddy says, before walking off. "See? I told you these people were snobs!" Yeller says. "Freddy was merely joking, I'm sure." Bo says. Yeller looks away, and starts to point and laugh. "Look at those losers! They are dressed as Waluigi and that killer from 'Scream'! Who would be stupid enough to come to a masquerade ball dressed like that?" Yeller wonders.

*"Hey, that guy who is pointing and laughing at us looks kinda familiar." Cop says. "Who care? We come here to do job! Find person who cheated Dun Dun, and watch them DIE." Dun Dun says. "Dun Dun, that isn't how you do it! You give them a good talking to, and make sure they know not to do it again. Works for me every time." Cop says. "Hey, Cop! You see midget over there? He look suspicious. Dun Dun bet he do it." Dun Dun says. "Dun Dun, that isn't a midget, its a little boy!" Cop says. "Dun Dun no care how old he is! He maniac who conned Dun Dun!" Dun Dun says. Cop sighs. "Lets go interrogate him." Cop says. Cop and Dun Dun walk over to the little boy. "Hey kid, we need to talk to-" Before Cop can finish, Dun Dun picks the kid up by the collar of his shirt! "YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HIDE FROM DUN DUN?! DUN DUN FOUND YOU, YOU LITTLE BRAT! SHE KNOW WHAT YOU DID!" Dun Dun yells. A woman comes over, and begins hitting Dun Dun with her purse. "You put little Timmy down you animal!" The woman yells. Dun Dun drops Timmy, and her and Cop run off to a different corner of the ball room. "Coward, hiding behind Mommy so that he can escape. Dun Dun no let him leave, not alive!" Dun Dun yells. "Dun Dun, he's a little kid!" Cop says. "He going to be a lot of dead, soon!" Dun Dun says. A waitress comes over, and holds a plate of sandwiches over to Cop and Dun Dun. "Sandwich?" The waitress asks. Dun Dun takes the entire plate. The waitress gasps. "Why you still here? Dun Dun no give tips! Get lost!" Dun Dun says, before waving the waitress away.

*Yeller bumps into Melody Thomas Scott again, and she drops her phone. They stare at each other for a moment. "Aren't you going to offer to pick my phone up for me like a gentleman?" Melody Thomas Scott asks. "What for? You were the one who bumped into me." Yeller says. Melody Thomas Scott hits Yeller with her purse. "Alright! Fine! I'll pick it up!" Yeller says. Yeller picks up her phone, and looks at the screen. "Congratulations...you were a lucky Facebook customer, and have won a free Ipad...wait a second, it looks like you were typing this up!" Yeller says. Melody Thomas Scott rips the phone away from Yeller. "Its a draft for my creative writing class that I've been taking!" Melody Thomas Scott says, before storming off. Yeller pulls out his phone, and calls Dun Dun.

*Dun Dun answers the phone. "What you want?" Dun Dun asks. "Dun Dun, listen, I'm at a masquerade ball right now." Yeller says. "Really? Dun Dun at one too! What coincidence!" Dun Dun says. "As I was saying, I think I found the person who scammed you!" Yeller says. "WHAAAAAAAT?!" An angry Dun Dun asks. Yeller hears Dun Dun yell, and looks around. "Dun Dun? Are you here?" Yeller calls out. "Yeller here?" Dun Dun wonders. Yeller and Dun Dun look towards each other, and notice each other. They hang up and walk towards each other. "What are you doing here?" Yeller asks. "Dun Dun trying to catch criminal, what you doing here?" Dun Dun asks. "My Dad dragged me along to interact with these snobs. Why are you dressed in that mask, and who's the idiot dressed as Waluigi?" Yeller asks. Cop removes his mask. "Oh yay, my day just got a billion times better." Yeller sarcastically says. "I'm here to help Dun Dun catch the scammer." Cop says. "Well, the two of you are in luck. I know who she is." Yeller says, as he points in Melody Thomas Scott's direction. "That her?" Dun Dun asks. Yeller nods. "She says her name is Melody Thomas Scott. An alias, no doubt. No one has a name THAT long." Yeller says. "You're sure that is the scammer?" Cop asks. "I found her typing up the scam on her phone. Its definitely her." Yeller says. "Alright, we gotta play this cool. We don't know what that lunatic is capable of. We cant just run in-" Before Cop can finish, he notices Dun Dun approaching Melody Thomas Scott. "HEY!" Dun Dun yells. Melody Thomas Scott turns around. "I am going to tell you the same thing I tell everyone else. I'm not famous, I've never been on TV, I don't even WANT to be on TV! Do I make myself clear?!" Melody Thomas Scott asks. "Stop! Dun Dun know truth about you, lady. You stole Bo Yeller credit card information!" Dun Dun yells. "I, uh, I....I have no-no idea what you are talking about." Melody Thomas Scott says. Dun Dun gets close to her face. "Are you sure, Thomas Melody Scott?" Dun Dun asks. Melody Thomas Scott begins to shake. "Alright, FINE! I DID IT!" Melody Thomas Scott says. "Wow, Dun Dun good detective!" Dun Dun says. "Why would you do it? How could you do it?" Cop asks. "Its simple, really. I've already maxed out all of my own credit cards. All of that spending on plastic surgery finally caught up with me. So, it dawned on me. Why max out my own credit card, when I can max out other people's instead? That's when I devised that annoying Facebook user scam that pops up every time you go to browse the internet!" Melody Thomas Scott says. "You're SICK!" Yeller says. "You only say that because you are jealous that YOU didn't come up with it first!" Melody Thomas Scott says. "Actually, yeah, pretty much...I mean, no! What you did is bad! Very bad!" Yeller says. "How many people did you scam, Melody? hundreds? Thousands? MILLIONS?!" Cop angrily asks. "Actually, only one person was stupid enough to actually fall for it." Melody Thomas Scott says. "Who?" An oblivious Dun Dun asks. "Sorry, lady, but for once, I gotta do my job. You're coming with me." Cop says. Melody Thomas Scott pulls out a bottle of pepper spray! "NOBODY MOVE! THIS IS A HOSTAGE SITUATION!" Melody Thomas Scott yells. Bo comes over. "What the devil is going-" Before Bo can finish, Melody Thomas Scott sprays him in the eyes! "AHHHHH! HELP! ITS ALL BLACK!" Bo screams. "Nobody better try to play hero again!" Melody Thomas Scott yells. "Thomas Melody Scott, please, you don't want to do this!" Dun Dun begs. "Don't worry, no one will get hurt, just as long as I can get out of here. You!" Melody Thomas Scott says, while pointing at Cop. "What?" Cop asks. "I want you to let me walk out of here, I want a bucket full of credit cards, and I want a helicopter!" Melody Thomas Scott yells. "Why do they always ask for a helicopter?" Cop wonders. "GET MOVING! MAKE THE CALL!" Melody Thomas Scott yells. Cop pulls out his phone. "Come on, Melody, isn't this all kind of ridiculous? Its just one credit card! I'm sure all you'll get is a small fine! The police department in this city never arrests anyone unless its me or Dun Dun!" Yeller says. "It true!" Dun Dun says. "So, why don't you put the pepper spray down, and walk out of here? We aren't gonna chase you, we don't want to chase you." Yeller says. "Speak for you. This lady scammed Dun Dun! She gonna get her!" Dun Dun says. Melody Thomas Scott points the pepper spray bottle towards Dun Dun. "SHUT UP!" Melody Thomas Scott yells. "DONT SHOOT! DUN DUN ALLERGIC TO PEPPER! AND SPRAY!" Dun Dun yells. Cop hangs up the phone. "Is the helicopter on the way?" Melody Thomas Scott asks. "Sorry, I couldn't get it! Or the credit cards!" Cop says. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Melody Thomas Scott screams. "She gonna blow up!" Dun Dun yells. "THATS IT! IF NO ONE IS GONNA HELP ME ESCAPE, I'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE ALL OF YOU OUT!" Melody Thomas Scott yells. Melody Thomas Scott aims the pepper spray at Yeller. "Starting with you, baldy." Melody Thomas Scott says. As her finger inches closer to the button you press to spray, and owl comes through one of the windows, and knocks the pepper spray out of Melody Thomas Scott's hand! Right after, Cop and Yeller both run at her, and tackle her to the ground! Cop handcuffs Melody Thomas Scott. "You wont be needing credit cards where you are going, lady." Cop says. "Where on earth did that owl come from?" Yeller wonders. The owl flies up through the window it came in, and a loud "HOOTIE HOO!" Can be heard in the distance. "Now that what Dun Dun call a good ending." Dun Dun says.

YELLER HOUSEHOLD
*Yeller and Bo come in, and find Michael and Vito tied up! They rush over, and untie them. "What the devil happened to the two of you?" Bo asks. "Well, you see, we were playing Sorry, when-" Before Michael can finish, he notices Mr. Whiskers standing in a dark corner, glaring at him. "Was it Melody Thomas Scott?" Yeller asks. "Yeah, lets go with dat." Michael says. Mr. Whiskers nods.

STATE PRISON
*Melody Thomas Scott is tossed into a cell by the guard. "This is ridiculous! All I did was steal someone's credit card information and take an entire room full of people hostage! What's so wrong with that?" Melody Thomas Scott asks. She notices Queen Goo sitting on one of the bunk beds. Queen Goo waves at her.