Episode 02: Insider

*Sam is sitting in a control room. “Previously, on Total Yeller Mania, we finally got an increase in the budget, and we wasted all of that cash on constructing a virtual world to trap our contestants in! Once the world was completed, we trapped 40 contestants into a contract, so that we could drag them into this new and violent season! What are these contestants fighting for? One million dollars, per usual! How are they fighting for it? Simple! There task is to kill off the other contestants! But, we figured that the game would be too boring and go by too quickly if they were all working independently, so we separated them into eight teams of five. In the end though, only one contestant will be victorious. We probably won’t find out who that contestant will be today, but there is bound to be at least ONE casualty! Who will bite the dust in today’s episode? Find out, in an all new episode of Total...Yeller...Mania...BATTLE!” Sam says.

*Early in the morning, in Peaceful Forest, Doctor Skass pokes his head into Leafy Fan’s tent, and sees that she is asleep. A devilish smile then crosses his face, as he sneaks off into the darkness, unknown to the rest of his teammates…

*Michael is standing on the docks at Low Class Waterfront, when Tom Nook comes up behind him. “You picked a lovely spot for a base, hm?” Tom Nook asks. “What da heck are you doin here? You ain’t part of dis team!” Michael yells. “Relax, I cant actually kill you before nine o’clock. You are safe, Mr. Michael.” Tom Nook says. “What do you want, pal?” Michael asks. “You seem like you are like me. We are both powerful gentlemen, we both have connections in the underworld, and we both don’t have any qualms about teaching the people we don’t like a lesson.” Tom Nook says. “So what if I kill people? Is dat bad?” Michael asks. “No, no! Quite the contrary, Mr. Michael! Its good! You see, I think you and I could have a good partnership going here. Yes, yes. Think about it for a moment. You and I could take complete control over this world! We could even traffic in illegal goods!” Tom Nook says. “Pumpkins?” Michael asks. “Think big, Mr. Michael. Jack o Lanterns!” Tom Nook says. “Wow, you really are tinkin pretty big dere, aren’t you, Mr. Nook?” Michael asks. “We have the potential to take this world by storm! And then, on the side, we can run a real estate business! We could sell houses, give people loans, and then, when they don’t pay, we beat them up!” Tom Nook says. “Dat DOES sound pretty tempting.” Michael says. “What do you say, Mr. Michael? Are we business partners?” Tom Nook asks. “Let me tink about dat...NO!” Michael yells. “Excuse me?!” Tom Nook asks. “I don’t need some raccoon to run a successful mafia! I’m da Don of Littlebridge!” Michael says. “Well aren’t you proud of yourself? Well guess what? I’m the Don of all kinds of villages! I cheat players out of money on a daily basis!” Tom Nook brags. “Oh yeah? Do you own a big mansion? I tink NOT!” Michael says. “Perhaps no, but I DO own a shop! A successful shop!” Tom Nook says. “Get da heck outta my land.” Michael says. “You made a big mistake, Michael! You’ll be wishing you had gone into business with me! Now, because of your stupidity, you won’t have a business by the time I’m through with you!” Tom Nook says. “Do I detect a threat?” Michael asks. “I don’t make threats, Michael. I’m gonna bury you, right after I beat you to a bloody pulp!” Tom Nook announces. Vito appears out of nowhere, and stands in front of Michael. “You sure you wanna fight?” Michael asks, as Vito cracks his knuckles. Dylan, Hog, and Fake Luigi appear, chanting “Fight! Fight! Fight!” Tom Nook turns his back to Da Suits. “The rules forbid me from killing you now, but rest assured, the day will come where I will bring down your entire team, and the ones ruling this world will be the Nook Dynasty...er, I mean Loan Sharks. Yes, yes, so it is written, so it shall be done! Yes!” Tom Nook says, as he walks away. “Dat guy...what a flake!” Michael says, about Tom Nook.

*Doctor Skass finishes climbing a mountain at Pointy Canyon, and comes across a cabin at the very top. Doctor Skass walks up to the cabin, swings the door open, and finds The Gentlemens lying in sleeping bags on the floor! Bo wakes up, and screams, which wakes up R.J, Creepy Guy, Rafe, and Justine, as well. “BURGLAR! BURGLAR! CALL THE AUTHORITIES!” Bo screams. “I’m pretty sure there is no law enforcement in this world.” R.J says. Creepy Guy gets up right into Doctor Skass’s face, and stares at him. “Buzz off, buddy.” Doctor Skass says, as he pushes Creepy Guy away from him. “So this is where you guys are staying?” Doctor Skass asks. “It is a temporary location until we can find a more secluded location to have as our base.” Bo says. “We should try that city place we were in, dude!” Rafe says. “That isn’t quite secluded, Rafe.” Bo says. “What are you doing here?” Justine asks. “I came to make your team a proposition.” Doctor Skass says. “A proposition you say? Of what kind?” Bo asks. “I have a teammate that I want out of the game.” Doctor Skass says. “If that’s true, why did you pick this teammate in the first place? You are the team captain of Object Destroyers, aren’t you?” Justine asks. “I picked her so that I could make this a very quick game for her.” Doctor Skass says. “Ah, you are referring to Leafy Fan. You had intended on sabotaging her from the very beginning.” Bo says. “Brilliant, eh? That’ll teach her for liking objects! But, unfortunately, I cant shoot my own teammate without them turning on me, so I need a partner. If I lead them straight to you guys, will you kill her for me?” Doctor Skass asks. “That is the most absurd thing I have heard in AGES! How dare you suspect that my team lacks so much integrity that we would cheat in order to get further in the game, and yes, good Doctor, what it is you are proposing IS cheating! No, dear boy, my team has more integrity than THAT!” Bo yells. “I thought it was a decent idea.” R.J says. Creepy Guy nods in agreement. “Well then it is a good thing that Rafe and Justine have common decency!” Bo says. “I’m with Bo, I don’t plan on winning by cheating.” Justine says. “Same, dude.” Rafe says. “There you have it, by team’s light far outweighs the darkness! Out you go! Go find someone else who is willing to compromise their ethics for your despicable agenda!” Bo says. “Fine! I will!” Doctor Skass yells, before running out. “Wow, that dude needs to chill. By the ways, you guys wanna set up shop in that city place?” Rafe asks. “For the last bloody time, we aren’t setting up shop in the bloody city! Only a fool would do such a thing!” Bo says.

*Chimney Sweepers are walking the streets of Central City. “Excuse me, sir, but don’t you think it is a tad early to be walking the streets?” Pecky asks. “Just because the game isn’t in progress, doesn’t mean we cant keep busy! These chimneys ain’t gonna sweep themselves!” Dave says. “You want us to sweep chimneys...at five in the morning?” Tat asks. “Why not?” Dave asks. “Buddy, people don’t even live here...what is the point of cleaning their chimneys?” Tat asks. “We are going to be living here!” Dave points out. “Against the rest of the team’s votes.” Tat points out. “Its a good thing that the only vote that matters is mine, then.” Dave says. Puppy whimpers. “Shut up!” Dave tells him. “Be nice to the puppy!” Jeannie orders. “Drop dead!!!” Dave responds. At that moment, Doctor Skass comes over to them. “Excuse me, can I have a moment of your time?” Doctor Skass asks. “No! We have chimneys to clean!” Dave says, as he pushes Doctor Skass to the ground. Dave walks off, as Pecky, Jeannie, Tat and Puppy follow.

*In Insane Jungle, SWAT team(Cop, Queen Goo, Ray, Laura, and Fishy) are hiding in a bush, as a lion passes by. “Stay very, very quiet.” Cop whispers. “WHAT?!” Queen Goo loudly asks. The lion turns towards them, and notices them. “Oh crap.” Fishy says. The lion roars, and begins to approach them. “We’re gonna die!” Laura cries. “Worse, I’m gonna die with YOU of all people!” Ray yells. Right as the lion is about to attack them, it is shot with a tranquilizer, and drops to the ground! It is quickly revealed that Doctor Skass is the one who shot it! “Oh boy...” Cop says, upon seeing Doctor Skass. “Hello, fellow players!” Doctor Skass says. “Can we help you with something? Cop and I were going on a date!” Queen Goo says. “No we weren’t.” Cop says. “Can I have a moment of your time?” Doctor Skass asks. “Normally, as an officer of the law, I’d tell you to buzz off and find someone who cares. But, since you did save our lives...what do you want?!” Cop asks. “I’d like to offer an alliance.” Doctor Skass says. “Coppy and I don’t do alliances!” Queen Goo says. “Don’t call me that.” Cop says. “Wait, hang on a second, lets give this guy a chance! Maybe he has a plan to get us to the top!” Fishy says. “This is a guy who’s only objective in life is to troll online forums about objects! We cant take a thing he says seriously!” Ray says. “Then again, can we really take anything YOU say seriously, honey?” Laura asks. “You just remember that when I say I’m gonna kill you, honey.” Ray responds. “Just let the guy talk! Alright doc, what do you got for us? An alliance with your team?” Fishy asks. “No, an alliance with just me. I want a member of my team gone, but since I cant do it...I’m turning to you guys.” Doctor Skass says. “Oh, so when you are plotting to kill one of your teammates, we were the first people you thought of?” Cop asks. “You were the first team I thought of!” Doctor Skass lies. “Explain to us how this is suppose to work.” Queen Goo says. “Simple. I am going to lead my team to a spot where I know you guys are gonna be. Then, you can open fire on them!” Doctor Skass says. “Who do you want gone?” Cop asks. “Leafy Fan. But, I won’t mind if you take out the others, they will just be collateral damage. Anything to get rid of that leaf obsessed nut job.” Doctor Skass says. “And how do you play into all of this?” Ray asks. “I’ll PRETEND to be fighting back against you guys, but in reality, I’ll be missing every shot. However, I need you to promise that you won’t kill me.” Doctor Skass says. “Why would we do that?” Fishy asks. “Because I am offering four players up to you on a platter. Once they are gone, those are four people less to stand in between you guys and victory.” Doctor Skass says. “And you wouldn’t care if you were the only person left on your team?” Ray asks. “I’ll manage. I’m already practically the only person on my team, with the winners I chose. So, do we have a deal, or not?” Doctor Skass asks. “Group huddle!” Cop announces. Cop, Queen Goo, Ray, Laura, and Fishy all huddle up. A moment later, they return their attention to Doctor Skass. “We’ve got ourselves a deal.” Cop says. “Excellent! So, here is what we shall do. I will lead my team to Unstable Mines. I hope you guys will get there before me?” Doctor Skass asks. “Oh don’t worry, we will.” Cop says. “Excellent. I’m glad we understand one another.” Doctor Skass says. “Attention contestants! It is now nine o’clock, which means the battle lines have been drawn! You boys and girls and objects better get shooting!” Sam announces. “I’ll go grab my team.” Doctor Skass says, before running off.

*On Mutant Island, Mun Mun is walking through a jungle. “Why are we here? Shouldn’t we be looking for other contestants?” Cherry asks. “Can it! Dun Dun exploring!” Dun Dun yells. “Dun Dun dear, you know that I ADORE you, but now isn’t the time to be exploring!” Grandma yells. “Why the frig not?! It isn’t as if we are being shot at!” Marik notes. “If we are gonna explore, shouldn’t we do it somewhere [CENSORED] else? This place is called Mutant [CENSORED] Island!” Kooky notes. “Stop being baby! There no mutants here!” Dun Dun says. At that moment, a bear/dolphin hybrid emerges from the trees. “Oh my Winged Dragon of Ra! What IS that thing?!” Marik asks. “It a eagle!” Dun Dun yells. “That’s no friggin eagle! RUN!” Marik yells. The team begins to run away from the hybrid creature.

*Sam and ManShark are in a monitor room, watching Mun Mun run from the mutant. “I’m glad that we get some entertainment while the contestants walk around aimlessly. By the way, nice job creating those mutants. I almost forgot you use to be a scientist before you became an ugly beast.” Sam says to ManShark. ManShark shows his teeth to Sam. “Wow, someone’s touchy.” Sam says. ManShark punches Sam!

*Tom Nook, Disk, Diamond, Pearl, and Alonzo are all sitting around a table in a restaurant, located in Central City. Tom Nook raises a glass of wine. “To our victory!” Tom Nook says. “What did we win?” Pearl asks. “The coolest team ever, obviously.” Diamond responds. “No, no, friends! I was referring to the victory of the competition! It won’t be long now before us five are the only people left standing!” Tom Nook says. “Don’t we have to actually do that before we celebrate, though?” Pearl asks. “Is there any doubt that we will win?” Tom Nook asks. “A little.” Diamond says. “This dinner is so boring. Cant we be out there shooting people instead of talking? I don’t even like any of you.” Disk says. “Patience, Disk. Besides, we don’t even have any guns yet.” Tom Nook says. “Then get some.” Disk says. “Sure, just as soon as you get a personality, hm?” Tom Nook says. Diamond and Pearl both start laughing, which leads Disk to glare at them. Tom Nook turns towards Alonzo. “Alonzo, my friend, I couldn’t help but notice that you aren’t drinking your wine!” Tom Nook notes. “I don’t drink on the job...” Alonzo says. “Hm? But we aren’t working.” Tom Nook says. “When are we going to go out and eliminate the competition?” Alonzo asks. “Well...soon. But, you know, these things take time, and we don’t have the fire power to go up against our enemies yet.” Tom Nook says. “Then we get the firepower.” Alonzo says. “We will, we will. In the meantime, I’ve been thinking. Maybe it would be a good idea to open up a shop, right here in Central City.” Tom Nook says. “Can it sell ski masks? I love ski masks!” Pearl says. “Of course it can sell ski masks! It can sell whatever we want!” Tom Nook says. “Sounds boring.” Disk says. “We were talking about opening a shop, not you, Disk.” Tom Nook says. Diamond and Pearl begin laughing, and Disk glares at them. The team then hear footsteps outside. “Our cover has been blown! Take cover!” Tom Nook yells. Tom Nook flips the table over, and they all hide behind it. Tom Nook peeks over the table, and watches as Chimney Sweepers walk by outside, oblivious to Loan Sharks being inside. “I see my stealth skills are still in tact.” Tom Nook says. “Its not that you were smart, its just that the other team were idiots.” Disk says. “Yes, yes, but we are not! Loan Sharks for the win!” Tom Nook yells. “Did you hear that?” Tat can be heard asking from nearby. “Uh oh, everybody out the back door!” Tom Nook yells, before he and his teammates evacuate out the back.

*Doctor Skass is leading Leafy Fan, Abner, Lauren, and Claire towards Unstable Mines. “Why are we going this way?” Lauren asks. “I got a tip that another team was hanging out around here.” Doctor Skass says. “A tip?” A suspicious Lauren asks. “Yeah, a tip.” Doctor Skass says. “From who?” Leafy Fan asks. “Uh, from...Firey.” Doctor Skass lies. “WHAT?! THE MONSTER WHO CHEATED LEAFY OUT OF HER VICTORY?” Leafy Fan angrily asks. “What on earth is she talking about?” Claire asks. “Don’t know.” Lauren says, as she pulls her pistol out. “But I’m going in, with or without them.” Lauren says. As Lauren begins to walk in, Doctor Skass notices. “NO!” Doctor Skass yells. Doctor Skass runs in front of Lauren, and stops her. “Aren’t you the one who WANTED us to go in?” Lauren asks. “Yes, but...we should go in as a team! Actually, Leafy Fan should go in first!” Doctor Skass says. “Why Leafy Fan?” Abner asks. “Because she is the most fearsome of our team, of course!” Doctor Skass says. “In what universe?” Claire asks. “Okay, how about you sit this one out, Doc? Obviously, you are either wasted or on something, or just naturally a weirdo.” Lauren says. “Keep in mind that this is the guy who called our team Object Destroyers. I think he is just naturally a weirdo.” Claire says. “I’m not weird. But apparently, I am the only one doing the thinking for our team.” Doctor Skass says. “Riiiight. Anyway, are we all ready to go in?” Lauren asks. “Leafy and I are ready!” Leafy Fan says. “Ready to die...” Doctor Skass says. Everybody hears him, and looks at him. “Ready to die for the team, I mean! You know, in case things get bad.” Doctor Skass says. Everybody then proceeds into the tunnel…

*In Peaceful Forest, The Pebbles have all stopped for a break. Yeller and Sally Good Rock are throwing rocks into the lake, while Davey swims. Meanwhile, Eugene is nearby, on his laptop. Andy walks over to him. “Hey, what’s up?” Andy asks. “Not much. I’m simply keeping an entry of each location we enter, hoping to formulate a digital map of the world we have found ourselves trapped in.” Eugene says. “Oh.” Andy responds. Yeller throws another rock, which hits Davey in the head, knocking him out, and causing him to sink into the water. “….Davey?” Yeller asks, when Davey doesn’t resurface.

*Object Destroyers proceed further into the tunnel, with their guns drawn. Eventually, they come across SWAT team, with Cop, Queen Goo, Ray, and Laura all holding guns, while Fishy stands in the background. “Look who decided to come and join us for tea!” Fishy says. “You knew we were coming?” Abner asks. “Course they did. It all makes sense, now. Skass set us up!” Lauren realizes. “How could you? You are suppose to be our team leader! What kind of example does that set for Leafy?!” Leafy Fan angrily asks. “STOP talking about that worthless leaf! And just so you know, I did this because of YOU.” Doctor Skass reveals. Leafy Fan gasps. “That’s right! I’ve been out to get you since the moment I first laid eyes on you, and I finally saw a chance to get rid of you! Of course, I couldn’t do it myself, that would be breaking the rules! So, I enlisted the help of Cop and his team, and they were all too happy to assist!” Doctor Skass says. “You are EVIL!” Leafy Fan yells. “No, I’m just a genius.” Doctor Skass says. “You say genius, I say amateur.” Lauren says. “Excuse me?” Doctor Skass asks. “I get what you were thinking, Skass. Only problem is, you didn’t think about yourself in this whole mess. What do you think those guys will do once they take out Leafy Fan? They are gonna come after you.” Lauren says. “Nice try, but we have an agreement.” Doctor Skass says. “Did you get that agreement in writing? Even if you did, this is a virtual world, they probably wouldn’t follow it. Frankly Skass, I think you got screwed.” Lauren says. “You can take that thought to the grave with you. Kill them!” Doctor Skass orders. Lauren aims her gun, and fires a shot, hitting Fishy between the eyes! Fishy immediately dies, leaving 39 players in the game. Cop, Queen Goo, Ray, and Laura begin firing back, and Object Destroyers run for nearby cover. “What are we gonna do?” Leafy Fan asks. “Stay behind this wall, and shoot whenever you can, until you run out of ammo. Once you run out, get out of here.” Lauren tells her. Abner notices a crate nearby. “Hey, if I can hide behind that, I can get a closer shot in!” Abner says. “Go for it, kid. Just don’t die.” Lauren says. Abner nods, and then slides over behind the crate. Abner pokes his head up, and begins firing shots at the other team! SWAT team take cover in order to avoid being hit. Cop pokes his head around the corner of the tunnel, and begins firing shots at Abner, who is still behind the crate. Abner fires back, however, Abner ends up getting hit! “Abner’s down, we need to get him out of here!” Claire tells Lauren. Before they can do anything, Cop fires another shot at Abner, killing him!

*The gentlemens are still in pointy canyon, when Sam can be heard. “Attention, everybody! We’ve had our first two deaths! Fishy has placed 40th in the overall competition, and Abner has placed 39th!” Sam announces. “Oh no, not Ab!” Justine says.

*The gunfight between Object Destroyers and SWAT team continues in the mine. “Where is Doctor Skass?” Leafy Fan asks. “Probably started running for the hills with his tail in between his legs at the first sign of gunfire. I don’t care if its against the rules, next time I see that guy...I’m shooting him.” Lauren says. “Maybe we should bring out the big guns, darling! Literally!” Queen Goo tells Cop. “Sounds like a plan to me. Ray? You mind passing it to me?” Cop asks. Ray unzips a bag, and pulls out a machine gun! Ray hands it to Cop, and Cop begins to open fire. “That settles it, we’ve gotta get out of here.” Lauren says. “We need to keep fighting!” Claire yells. “I’m as trigger happy as the next guy, but we don’t have enough firepower to combat that. On three, we run.” Lauren says. Claire and Leafy Fan nod. “One...two...three!” Lauren yells. Lauren, Claire, and Leafy Fan then run off, as Cop attempts to follow them. However, they are too fast, and he ends up losing them. “Drats!” Cop says. “Well, it wasn’t a total loss! We still got one of their teammates!” Laura notes. “And we lost Fishy!” Cop points out. “Again, not a total loss.” Ray says. Doctor Skass emerges from the shadows. “What are you guys doing?” Doctor Skass asks. “Taking a break!” Cop responds. “I hired you to take out Leafy Fan, and you kill Abner?!” Doctor Skass asks. “You didn’t hire us to do anything. We agreed to help you. And so you remember, that agreement was for killing your teammates. We did that!” Cop points out. “You didn’t kill the one I wanted you to kill the most! It was a big mistake coming to you guys. This arrangement is OVER!” Doctor Skass yells. “It certainly is.” Queen Goo says. Queen Goo pulls out a gun, and shoots Doctor Skass! Doctor Skass drops to the ground, and despawns. “Aw, I wanted to be the one to kill him.” Cop says.

*Outside the mine, Lauren, Leafy Fan, and Claire are walking along. “Attention contestants! We have had yet another death! Doctor Skass is OUT, and has placed 38th place!” Sam announces. Claire turns towards Lauren. “Would you look at that, guess you don’t have to break the rules after all.” Claire says. Lauren smiles. “Shame.” Lauren responds. “Oh, yeah, one more thing, contestants. Its six o’clock, so all gunfire has to end NOW! Go sleep, or plot the deaths of your enemies, or whatever it is you do during your off time. Just be ready for a massacre tomorrow.” Sam says.

*Back in the control room, Sam is sitting in front of the monitors. “Wow, what a day! We are only one day in, and we’ve already had THREE deaths! With Fishy, Abner, and Doctor Skass out of the game, who do you think will be next? Find out in the next episode of Total...Yeller...Mania...BATTLE!” Sam says.

*Meanwhile, Dun Dun, Marik, Grandma, Kooky, and Cherry are all rowing a canoe through the water, trying to get away from the bear/dolphin hybrid, which is still chasing after them.